The throne's keeper.

Chapter 24 - Alternative options.

Khwezikazi.

I bite into the bacon and egg pie as the guilt of having to screw my diet floats away and I smile at this... absolute deliciousness is what this is.

I look up from my plate when I realise a foreign but handsome pair of eyes at the other side of the restaurant staring right at me.

In my olden days I would be preparing to put on a show that suggests that I'm willing to fuck him in the toilets in fifteen if he is willing to, but right now I give him a polite smile and I go back to taking big greedy bites of my breakfast along with a fizzy glass of mimosa.

Sex is one thing I'm willing to abstain from but alcohol I am not so sure, for now I am just working through one problem at a time.

It's been a week now since Sanele moved out and well over a few days that I realised that there's really nobody that's going to get me out of the mess that I am in. I've started going to an
SAA group and I realised that there is people that have it worse than I do, sure I have it bad but I'd like to assume that I was better right ? But the SAA group is the only consolation that I have that i might actually be paving a way to my rovery. You might be thinking that I am still avoiding therapy because I am but I realised that there are more ways to help myself than just therapy, so I am exploring these options, starting with my SAA meeting today, but above all of that i am shattered inside.

With Sanele leaving I've been miserable. When the fourth night came and he still hadn't come back I realized how badly this has turned and it pains me that I can't see him as much as I used to. I miss him so much more right now. Him being home with me even if he had been avoiding me was better because I knew he was near but now he's not anywhere close to me and this hurts so so bad. I still have crippling nightmares about that night that I at times avoid sleeping and I wait until my sleeping pills kick in.

I didn't think that I'd actually confess to missing him but I do, although we had a strange arrangement but I loved that it worked for us and we were comfortably with it and happy and it seemed like with what we had the world didn't exist.

"Hy."

My head jerks up and I find Busi staring down at me with small smile on her face.

"Hy."
I greet before I stand up and I look at her again awkwardly. She wraps her arms around me for what feels like forever before she let's go.

We both sit down and she places an order for a mimosa as well before she looks at me again. I stare at her awkwardly because what the hell am I going to say to her.

"You look good."
She starts and I offer her a small smile.

"You don't look too bad yourself."

She nods her head a little, awkwardly again before she takes some time to look at me for a few moments like she's contemplating something and she looks down at her lap instead.

"I've missed you Khwezi..."
She says as she looks at me again as I too stare at her... she looks like she's just said the most riskiest thing because she isn't sure about what I am going to say. I give her a little nod because I genuinely agree with her.

"I've missed you too Busi."
I confess to her and she giggles at me a little and a small smile grows on my face and she smiles at me before shaking her head a little.

"Thank you for finally calling me."

"I think it's time I stopped being so angry."

"But you had good reason."

"I did, I still do... but Sanele made me realize that I am holding alot of bad energy inside that I need to let go of."

"How Is he ?"