Hijacked (Peeta Mellark Fanfiction)

Chapter 19 - Free

When I open my eyes, I immediately think that I'm still in the Capitol, that I didn't get rescued and it was all a dream. But I can't feel any ropes or chains or anything tying me down onto an operation table. I sit up abruptly, three doctors are surrounding me, I quickly identify the room not to be all white and pristine like one from the Capitol. I look down at my hands in bewilderment, surely enough, there are no chains. Although I can see the outline of them imprinted on the skin of my wrists, the pain from them still tingles faintly.

One of the doctors steps forward when she sees that I'm awake. She has light brown hair that is pulled back tightly, she looks at me with tired eyes, do I see pity in them?

"Hello Peeta, do you mind if we give you a quick check-up?" She asks gently.

I look over at the tools in a tray that sits on a table behind her, cringing at the sight of the syringes and needles. I'm unable to find words, but somehow she understands.

"We won't hurt you, I promise. Your friends will be here soon, they've been worried about you."

Friends? Who are my friends? I can't remember anything, the rescue mission seems like a dream. My memories are fading in and out so I know that they're there, but I don't know what they are. How have I forgotten everything so easily? I let the doctor shine a flashlight in my eyes, while another one checks my pulse, and the third one scribbles down notes. Suddenly I hear a door opening, and turn my head in the direction of the noise. Someone entered the room, but I can't see who, the nurses block my view. When they see who it is, they immediately move aside.

It's her. The real thing, not a dream, not a memory, not on a screen of a monitor, but the living and breathing thing itself, staring right back at me. An unspoken word flashes across my mind,

You.

For a second, everything shuts down, everything around me disappears, and it's just me and her.

It all ends now.

She advances toward me as I leap onto my feet, shooting my hands forward onto her neck where I will crush the evil-doing soul out of her.

Anger... hate... revenge... racing through me... unknowing and wild.

what are you doing?

She did this to me, she's a murderer, a mutt, a monster, a creation of destruction. Every thought pulses through me like its lending me more and more strength.

This isn't who you are.

I will avenge all the deaths she's caused. I will stop the killings now. I will terminate the one being that started this mass destruction and murder.

You're not a killer.

My blood is boiling with hatred, rage surges through my veins, my face is contorted with anger, pure terror is alive inside me, more than anything else. Even with her life at stake in my hands, I'm still afraid. Why am I still scared when I've finally got her? She can't do anything when choking helpless at my hand.
There's so much fear, but of what? It can't be of her, not anymore.

You're scared of what you've become.

No, I'm still the same person, the same person who just knows the truth. I'm not different, I haven't changed.

Nothing good comes from lies.

Something solid slams against the side of my head from behind and everything turns black.

-

I wake up in a white room.

Oh no, not again.

But when I look around, the room is empty, the only thing in here is me.

When I try to sit up, I'm held back from restraints strapped over my torso, ankles, and bruised wrists. I'm immediately fueled with aggravated fury, they told me I was safe then locked me up, just like the Capitol. Just the feeling of the fabricated straps tying me down, trapping me, is enough to trigger an ultimate panicked reaction. What are they going to do to me? They think I'm the monster here...they're trying to protect her.

"No...no, no, you don't understand." I say aloud, staring pleadingly at the blank surrounding windows.

"You can't trust her! She's using you! You have to let me go! Please... let me go."

She's still alive. This isn't good, I have to escape, I have to find her, I have to kill her.

Nobody responds, the only person here is myself. I'm all alone, imprisoned, again.
I stare blankly at the white walls, getting hideous flashbacks of painful shocks that seemed to take control of me every second it was there.

The rage and fear build up with every thought of the Capitol, weighing me down like a continuous solid squeeze in my chest. My sanity is hanging by a thread, the anxiety is rapidly taking over any control I have. The unfamiliarity of this place and the flashbacks of the Capitol bring ominous thoughts to my mind.

She's gonna kill me. She's gonna kill me.

Why am I here? Why am I not in District 12? They're gonna punish me. They're gonna rattle up my brain until it's completely dead. Did she do this? No, I can't let her do this. I can't let her win. I can't remember anything, I can only remember death, taunting death, and pain. It seemed that I remembered more when I first arrived here, how am I forgetting so easily? So many unanswered questions, so much confusion overlapping so quickly. These straps, they are so irritating, I want to tear them off and rip apart her mutated flesh, I want to kill her. Snow is going to burn this place to the ground. There's no escape. There's no hope. No one will listen. No one will survive. Foolish, they're foolish, I'm foolish. I am nothing but bitter resentment, a hopeless failure, a lamb to slaughter.

Pain flashes over my bruised wrists, I didn't realize I was thrashing violently against the restraints, I didn't realize I was kicking the air or breathing so hastily. I didn't realize I'd lost control already. Everything has slipped away, why can't I remember anything? What have they done?

I would've covered my face with my hands if they hadn't been tied down. No one can see me like this, I wonder if people can see me through those blank windows, if there are observers watching me as if I were an experiment. Maybe I am.

This is exactly how I had felt in the Capitol, like a caged animal. Is District 13 any different? Was I rescued just to be tortured all over again? Am I really safe? Am I really free? No, probably not, it doesn't feel like it.

It took long rage-induced hours until I finally let the extreme exhaustion overcome me.