Mission 101

Chapter 38- Love Is Just A Word Until Someone Comes Along And Gives It Meaning

Kensi's POV

I think I just ruined everything. Why did I have to be so stupid and stay angry at Deeks? He was right. I am over reacting. I don't know why I am so angry at him. It's stupid. We were just joking around and having fun, but then I had to go and take things too seriously. It's not like he killed my bestfriend or anything. I like Deeks and I may even love him, but now I just ruined everything and now Deeks is going to hate me. No, let me re-phrase that. Deeks does hate me.

Deeks stormed out of the room, everyone standing in shock. Tears started slowly dropping from my face. Ziva walked over to me and went to sit down, but I got up and ran after Deeks, leaving the two teams behind, wondering what the hell just happened and to be honest, I myself, don't even know what just happened.

"Deeks! Deeks, wait! Deeks!" I yelled, running up to Deeks. He finally stopped and turned around, looking at me. "What Kens? Huh? What is it now? Do you want to punch me for yelling and walking out of the room? Huh? Or did I forget to get extra sugar on your doughnuts again?" Deeks yelled. I had tears pouring down my face. "No! Deeks, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I have just been having a rough time lately and I guess I just took it out on you. It won't happen again. Please forgive me." I tried. Deeks looked at me. "Kens, If you are having a rough time, tell me. I can help you get through it. Nothing is going to get better if you keep getting angry and punching me everytime I say or do something that annoys you." Deeks stated.

"I know.." I started, not knowing what to say next. I looked down at my interwined hands, trying to hold back the tears. "Kens? What's wrong? Why do you feel like you can't trust me? You have built up all these walls and I've been doing my hardest to brake them down, but I'm getting tired of having to bring out my pick axe everytime something happens. You know you can trust me, I would never hurt you. You should know that by now." Deeks informed. I smiled. "I just can't stand to finally be able to let someone in again, knowing that anything could happen. I can't go through what I went through with Jack and Dom again. It's too hard and the fact that I have feelings for you, doesn't make it any easier." I replied. Ohh shit. What did I just do? Why the hell did I just say that?

Deeks looked at me shocked. His jaw looked like it was about to touch the floor. "Wait... What did you just say?" Deeks asked, as if he didn't hear what I said. "I.. uhh..nothing.." Deeks smirked at me. "No...no... you just said you have feelings for me..." Deeks repeated, smirking slightly. I blushed. "No, I didn't.....Okay, fine I did. Whatever, oh my god, please don't hate me. Now everything is going to be awkward. Maybe I should just di-" I rambled, being cut off by Deeks pulling me into him. He kissed me intensly, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer into his chest.

At first I didn't know what to do, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. We pulled apart and smiled, looking into each others eyes, before leaning in again, returning to the kiss. I ran my fingers through his pillow-styled, blonde, surfer hair, pulling his head closer down to mine.

We pulled away and smiled at each other. "We should get back. They are probably getting worried." I suggested. Deeks nodded, keeping his arm around my waist as we walked back into the fifth floor where the two teams that were waiting curiously.

When we neared the teams, much to my disapointment, Deeks removed his arm from my back. It was probably best. If Sam and Callen found out about what happened, they would probably kill him.

"You guys good?" Callen asked. I looked at Deeks, unsure of what he was going to say. "Yeah. Yeah, we're good. Sorry about before." Deeks replied, looking at everyone. "It's okay. I'll just have you know, that if you ever hurt Kensi again, I will have to pound you." Sam threatened. Deeks took a step back, smiling nervously. He would never hurt me. Right?

"So, you guys in for a little trip to the beach with us?" Eric asked the two teams. "Count me in!" Abby yelled. I smiled and looked at Deeks, who nodded happily. "Yeah, I wouldn't mind catching a few waves."

Ziva looked around to her team and nodded."Yeah, I guess." DiNozzo looked back at Ziva and smirked. "If she's going, I'm going. Wouldn't wanna miss a perfect opportunity to catch some L.A waves." Ziva laughed at DiNozzo's statement.

I turned to Callen and Sam. "You guys in?" Sam nodded. "Yeah, okay. I mean, who wouldn't mind some beach soccer?" I laughed, as I looked to Callen. "Ummm, I don't know...I haven't seen Joelle in a while, so I might go spend some time with her." I shook my head, while Abby looked at Callen, along with Gibbs. "Wait, who's Joelle?" She asked. Callen smiled. "Ohh you know, Callen's girlfriend." I replied for him. He glared at me, as Abby giggled happily. "Oh! No, No, No. I'm meeting this girl. You are coming to the beach with us and you're picking her up on the way. End of story." Abby stated, making Callen step back and laugh at her sudden excitement.

"Okay, so are we going to go? Or just stay here and talk some more?" McGee asked. Everyone exchanged nods and we all walked out of the hospital, Nell and Eric hand in hand. I felt slightly sad and disapointed, not being able to do that with Deeks. I don't even know what that kiss meant. I mean, like are we together now? Or was that kiss just a spare of the moment thing? Or just another attempt at Deeks trying to communicate with me?

Even if we were dating, I don't think Deeks would want to tell anyone. I mean, not if he wants to get killed by Sam and Callen. Just because Eric and Nell are dating, I don't think that will make Sam and Callen see the situation any lighter. Any time anyone tries to hurt me, Sam and Callen are always the first people there to help me. Right after Deeks, that is.

Everyone walked out of the building, but I held Deeks back, walking behind everyone. "Deeks..." I started, unsure of what to say. Deeks stopped walking, causing me to stop too. "Kens, what's wrong?" He asked, great concern passing through his voice. I look up at him. "I don't know Deeks...It's just....What happens next?" I asked. He looked at me and smiled, placing his arm around my waist. He moved the hair out of my face and kissed my head softly, starting to walk again. "It's a love story." He whispered. I smiled to myself as we caught up with everyone else.