Reliant ~ [John Soap MacTavish]

XLII. The Mirror

I place the piece of paper from my notebook behind the picture of me and Keegan, my father's face now covered with the image of my mom and me. When I place the back of the picture-frame on the contents behind it, a knock sounds on my door.

For a second I imagine Soap standing on the other side, though I know it's likely not the case.

"Come in," I mumble, placing the image back on the small table.

Keegan comes in, most of his face covered by his mask again as he leaves the door open behind him.

"You," he states, hands crossed in front of his chest, "Come. I'm taking you to train with the others today."

My brows furrow, skepticism immediately flowing through me. "I'm not so sure that is a good idea."

"Too bad," he says, dropping his arms to his sides to reach for my wrists. "I've already checked with Price and he said it'd be good too. Come on. You're gonna have to do missions with them soon too."

I groan in frustration, but I'm pulled from the chair with so much force that the sound gets caught in my throat. "Jesus, okay. Fine."

"They've already begun," Keegan says as he waits outside of my room, door still open.

"Why have you decided to just come and mention this to me now?" I sigh, getting out of my room too, and falling into step beside him.

Keegan glances at me, the mask obscuring most of his expression, but there's a hint of pride in his eyes. "Because you would've found an excuse to get out of it. Wouldn't you?"

I shoot him a skeptical look. "I work fine alone."

"You work fine alone. But better together," he tips his head down, trying to give the words more impact, but failing to do so.

My mind simply travels back to the partnership Carter and I used to have. Something inside of me causes a sharp pain to shoot through my chest, and I notice how it's almost painful to think of the way he's not here anymore. Then, I realize it might just be the pain of the betrayal, and the way he went behind me to ruin everything I had started to build up with him.

"No," Keegan's low voice interjects. "Don't get into your head, now."

"I'm not," I shrug slightly, hoping to shrug the thoughts away with it too.

The training area comes into view, alive with the controlled chaos of drills and exercises.

Keegan's insistence on team dynamics clashes with my ingrained instinct to operate alone. I'm used to working with no one but myself. Some people have become too reliant on one another. Especially in this field.

The memory of Carter's betrayal only fuels my resistance to forming connections, to trust, but Keegan seems determined to break through my self-imposed barriers.

He pushes open the door to the training area, and the team's activity pauses momentarily as they acknowledge our entrance. I try to avoid locking eyes with Soap, knowing that seeing his face might cause me to spiral.

Ace, however, catches my gaze. Her eyes hold a mix of acknowledgment and something else—perhaps a hint of an understanding.

Does she know what happened?

She offers a tight-lipped smile, almost as if breaking the unwritten rule by expressing empathy.

I return the smile, though I immediately feel my facial expression growing desperate.

Stop it.

Focus.

Quickly, I divert my gaze to Price, who offers me a quick nod of approval. He motions to the rest, and the sound of movement continues. Keegan's hand on my shoulder pulls me out of my own brain and I turn towards him, my eyes landing on his masked face, and it almost feels like a break.