Reliant ~ [John Soap MacTavish]

LIX. Everything We Needed

John 'Soap' MacTavish ~ 01:41

The air in my apartment feels stifling, thick with heat that must be pushing past 150 degrees by now. My skin burns, slick with a light sheen of sweat forming along my back and forehead.

I press my hips forward just enough to feel her tighten around me, and she tries shifting higher on the bed. "Shh, don't move. Stay with me," I murmur, my voice a low rasp. Her only answer is a soft, strangled moan that fills the quiet room.

Her eyes flutter shut, and I feel her hands tense, gripping my forearm as she tries to steady herself. The quick rise and fall of her chest match my own shallow breaths. I stay there, barely moving, savoring the way her body reacts, every little shiver and every barely audible gasp that escapes her parted lips. God, I wish I could capture this moment, replay it like a memory I could pull up anytime I wanted.

"Yeah, just like that," I whisper, the words barely audible as I lean down, resting my forehead against hers, feeling the warmth of her skin against me. "God, fuck, Alex."

My fingers trace down her cheek to her jaw, guiding her to keep her gaze on me. I can see her pulse racing, feel her breath mingling with mine.

She's so beautiful.

Fuck.

Something tightens in my chest as I watch her. I feel like I'm seeing her in a way I never have before. Or maybe I have, who am I kidding? Maybe it was to protect myself from being naive once again. Maybe I didn't allow myself to accept it, because of what happened between us.

I didn't want to forgive her.

I couldn't not forgive her.

Her legs hook around my waist, pulling me deeper. I'm caught off guard for a second, feeling the way everything tightens around me, and my breath slips out in a sharp gasp that matches hers. My hands find her hips, steadying her as she adjusts against me, each shift sending a jolt down my spine.

I watch her intently, taking in every detail—the way her chest rises and falls, the slight part of her lips, her lashes resting against her cheeks when she closes her eyes, just for a second. Her skin is flushed, a light sheen of sweat catching the dim light, and I feel my pulse hammering at the sight of her.

Every nerve feels like it's on fire, every movement magnified as I try to maintain control, holding steady as she leans into me. I can barely breathe, and when she looks up, her eyes catching mine, it's like I'm pinned down by that look.

I grip her a little tighter, pulling her against me, feeling the way her body answers mine, how perfectly she fits here. My own thoughts are slipping—everything's fading except her, the sound of her breath, the feel of her around me, the small sounds that escape her with each movement. I lean closer, my forehead against hers, my jaw clenched as I try to keep steady, but she pulls me deeper, and I'm all but lost in her.

Our breaths hitch together as she fully relaxes beneath me, her body giving way, letting me press deeper. I feel her shiver, the sound of her soft gasp breaking the silence. My fingers dig a little harder into her hips as I move, careful but steady, feeling her answer every shift, every movement.

"Fuck," I murmur, the word slipping out before I can stop it. I pick up my pace, just enough to feel the difference, our bodies falling into a rhythm that feels natural, like we've done this a thousand times before.

Our foreheads rest together, breaths mingling in the small space between us, and I let myself sink into the feeling of her—warm, open, meeting me at every turn. I can't help it; I lean in, catching her mouth with mine, our lips fitting together as easily as the rest of us. Her hands tangle in my hair, pulling me closer, deeper, and I feel like I'm losing myself in the best way.