Reliant ~ [John Soap MacTavish]

LVII.Pretending Not to Care

"I didn't think I'd hear from you again," Jasmine Torrens says, her dark hair falling just above her shoulders. She looks different. Better than the last time I saw her, which had been just a week after her father's death.

I still remember the day as if it were yesterday. The way I had found Torrens lying on the floor near his office with a single shot wound right where his heart was. I knew immediately who it had been, and what things would follow, as Canmoore had been trying to get his position for over a year and failing to do so every single time. He had decided to take on a more drastic manner, and it ended with one of the only good men in this building with a bullet through his heart.

"I didn't think I'd find you," I say, watching her expression. "You look good, Jas."

She offers me a smile, though her expression quickly turns apologetic. "I'm not sure if I'm the right person, Alex. I hope you can understand that."

"But you are, Jasmine," I step closer to her, leaning against her desk. "It's what he would've wanted. He mentioned it to me so many times, how he couldn't wait for you to climb the rankings, working alongside him."

"I've been out of it for over a year. Nearly two," she says, brows slightly furrowed apologetically. "I'm not used to it anymore."

"Listen to me," I grab her hand. "You and I can do this together. I'll be there, running just beneath you. But you know I'm not one for behind desks all of the time," I smile, knowing she knows me well enough. "But I need someone who's able to run this in the right way. Build it up again to where it's meant to be. I know you're the right person for it. I wouldn't have come here if I didn't believe in that."

She smiles again, though her eyes light up again too. "I'm glad to see you, Alex," she says, letting another moment of silence pass. "I'll think about it."

"That's totally fine," I return the smile, offering her hand a quick squeeze before letting it go. "You know where to find me."

"I do," she says as I reach the door. "Bye, Alex. I appreciate you coming by."

"Good to see you're doing well, Jas," I say, smiling, before shutting the door behind me.

I close the strap of my helmet before pulling my backpack on a bit tighter. Pressing my finger on the power button, my bike springs alive, its frame immediately vibrating beneath me. Quickly, I lean forward to get into riding position before taking off into the main streets.

God how I've missed this. It's been a long time since I've been able to go for rides consistently. Ever since Ace gave me the all-clear, I've been trying to go out with it as much as possible, even though it has only been three days since.

The wind throws my braid into the air, and I open the visor up to allow some fresh air to enter into my helmet. I sigh, suddenly feeling both content with how things are going, and sad about what had happened.

I'm at the start of something exciting, both with work and with Johnny.

But there's this thing that has been ripped away from me.

I grit my teeth, shaking my head as if that'll force the thoughts out. It doesn't. I've been trying to lose myself in this—this rush of being back on the bike, the thrill of being in control of something again. But some things, no matter how hard you try, you can't outrun.

Still, Johnny's made it more bearable. He doesn't even know how much he's done just by being there, by holding me when I feel like I'm falling apart. He's the one steady thing I can count on. The one who sees the cracks but doesn't flinch, doesn't try to fix them immediately, just holds me until the pain dulls, even if only for a little while.