this love • gracie abrams

016 uncontrolled

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
uncontrolled
•

STANDING front and centre of the small stage at the front of the room, charlotte realized she's never seen gracie perform for a crowd before. she's sang for her a million times before in private, but she couldn't help but feel excited to see everyone else listen. she was standing between emma and matthew, trying to stay on track with their conversation while also trying to catch glimpses of gracie near the side of the stage. there was a black piano at the centre of it, standing out against the pale pink background. black and pink was always hers and matthew's thing, it still is, but she wondered what would her and gracie's colours be — as corny as that sounds.

a couple feet behind her was a storm of overwhelming colours, her parents aura creeping up on her back like spiders. she couldn't help but smirk at the thought of them having to respectfully listen to gracie sing, they were probably expecting jude or someone else to be the entertainment for tonight, someone that fits their perfect movie like lifestyle. when gracie come upstage and sat at the piano, she couldn't help but look over her shoulder and wear a grin, locking eyes on her dad who's brows furrowed and jaw tightened. his eyes rolled while charlotte's shined.

"look at his fucking face," she said to matthew.

matthew sighed, "i give it five minutes until he breaks and has to walk away," he said which made charlotte smile.

she kept her eyes on him, the words gracie was saying into the mic not making it to her ears. instead, all she could hear was her and her dads past conversations, not just the bad ones but the good ones too from longer ago. the lights dimmed and even though the pink spotlight was on gracie, charlotte was too focused on the one she imagined right now, shining on her dad. she felt matthew nudge her but she kept staring at him, waiting to see his next move.

'what do you wanna name the puppy, darling?' 'boston.' 'i think that's a perfect name.'

"is it your job now to keep disappointing us over and over again, charlotte?'

'dad, jude broke my bike!' 'that's okay, i'll fix it, don't cry sweetie.'

'i do love you, i just can't when you're acting like this!'

it was like she frozen, unable to snap out of whatever cold trance her mind had her wrapped in, but she wasn't fighting to escape it, no matter how hurt it made her feel. it showed on her face, and part of her was hoping her dad would look at her. see what he's done to their absent fucking relationship, but instead, he stood snickering at the performer with some guy next to him. it was clear to charlotte how easy it must've been for him to forget about her after she told him she never wanted to speak to him again. but she really wished it was harder so it'd hurt him more and hurt her less.

"i kinda think you should... just drop it all and call me," charlotte heard from behind her, something finally breaking into her clouded ears. it allowed her to pull away and turn to the front of the stage, quicker than anything else could.

matthew looked to her and watched her lips part, "your song."

charlotte slowly nodded, letting rocks fall off her shoulders.

"you good?"

"i'm good. perfectly good," she breathed out, eyes locked on gracie.

matthew grinned, "what'd she talk to you about in there?" he asked, nodding to the bathroom.

"that she's always gonna be right here," charlotte mumbled, quickly looking over her shoulder once more and then back to gracie. "and she is," charlotte agreed.