REBEL

Chapter Fifty Four

Bailey said," Everyone. You are so easy to love. You really are. The only person who doesn't love you is you. "

Rebel was silent. Cassie had said the same thing.

Bailey stood up again. He looked tired. He started to leave the room.

" He's right, Ricky Joe," Emily said. " I love you. I'm so sorry. I was older than you. I should have been the one protecting you. Not the other way around. I'm so sorry. "

Bailey stopped moving. " Love is such a rare quality. I've only loved twice. I lost one. And every day I fear losing the other. If I could have Yan back again...... You found love. You finally found love. I saw it that day at your apartment when you defended him to me. The way you looked at him. The way he looked at you. Don't lose it all over stupid fears. You'll regret it your whole life. And I will be so disappointed in you. "

                 New York City

Dom opened his refrigerator and saw nothing. Apparently someone needed to go grocery shopping. He reached out for the half empty milk container and took an uninterested swig before placing it back. Closing it , he sighed.

He sat at the kitchen table in his old ratty bathrobe and searched his phone. As usual. No calls or texts from him.

God , he missed that man.

God , he loved that man.

He picked up the whiskey bottle on the table and drained the last remaining dregs in it down himself.

How could anyone need another person this much? They hadn't even known each other that long. But it felt like he was missing an essential part of his being.

When would it stop hurting?

Choking back tears , he reached for a pen and a piece of lined notebook paper.

                 Dear Rebel,

I know you don't want to hear from me anymore. I can eventually get a point. I respect your wishes. I don't like them. But I do respect them.

I'm sorry I failed you that day. I don't care what anyone says to me about my actions that day. I failed you. I'm sorry about your sister. I'm sorry about Bailey. I'm not sorry I shot Jed. I hope he's roasting in hell. I'm sorry for what happened to you. I wish we had met at a different time. I wish we had more. I miss Rafe. I miss you.

I won't be calling or texting anymore. I know you don't want or need me. I respect that. I respect you.

I love you.

I love you, Rebel.

I love you, Ricky Joe.

I'm not Jasper Lewis. I'm not Jed.

Goodbye, Dommy

He stopped writing. Bailey had texted him Rebel's address in Pennsylvania. That was where this letter was going. And he was going to figure out how to move on.

But he didn't think he could.