The Safe Haven (A Newt x Reader Story)

Chapter 11: Shower Thoughts

 You felt pure disgust with yourself as you made your way out of the stalls of the bathrooms and out onto the beach. You could still taste the vomit on your tongue and your stomach burned as if there was pure acid inside of you. Your neck and back felt as if you had gotten whiplash from a head-on collision, but it was simply from heaving your body forward so forcefully from vomiting a few minutes ago. You could feel the dryness and puffiness of your eyes become prominent as you stepped outside into the bright summer sun. It was so intensely bright compared to the dark wooden stall that you had barricaded yourself in with Newt just a moment ago. On top of everything else that made you feel like the personification of death, you physically felt gross. Newt stepped his way outside along with you, keeping a short distance behind you. You stopped in your tracks and turned to him, now in this lighting seeing how red his eyes were as well. Had he been crying? You were just with him; he didn't seem like he was. It occurred to you that during that whole time of him comforting you, he needed just as much comforting, but didn't make it known. He put your needs first before his, as usual. Realizing this stabbed a pain in your chest, once again feeling guilty for being so selfish that you had not noticed his pain, the pain that you put him through.

"Everything okay, sunshine?" He inquired, looking concerned once more for you after you had seemed to fall silent. Quickly, you shook it off and nodded your head in reassurance. This didn't seem to reassure him though since he made his way closer to you and swept your messy hair out of your face to look you in the eyes, something that you usually didn't like doing, but didn't seem to mind as much with Newt now. "You know you can tell me if something is wrong." He whispered lowly, trying to keep the conversation just between the two of you and make sure no one could eavesdrop on the conversation. His sincerity and respectfulness made you grin as you adored him.

"Everything is great, Newt." You smiled at him, "I think I'm going to take a shower though. I feel pretty disgusting after- well you know."

"Sounds good, Sunshine." Suddenly another kiss was planted on your head and you felt the all too familiar blush paint your cheeks and the butterflies that stirred in your stomach. "I'll get to working then. Thomas is probably going to bug the shuck out of me about where I've been."

You nodded your head in understanding. Almost in an addictive closeness that he now seemed to long for with you, he grazed the curve of your back with his fingertips as he walked away, dragging them across your back and over your side, making you shiver slightly in tingles. You couldn't help but watch as he walked away from you, admiring him from afar as you normally did before feelings became a part of the equation. Or maybe those feelings were always there and you just liked to tell yourself they weren't. You couldn't help but let your mind wonder and ponder over the events of the last few days as you made your way to the women's shower room. It was so much to process and you really weren't sure how you felt, or really how you were supposed to feel.

The shower room was bare, with no one to be seen, which was a rarity. You hardly ever got privacy here and while you didn't mind too much sharing a communal shower with others, you couldn't help but let your insecurities overtake your mind as you created delusions in your head telling you that everyone was staring at your scars. For once, you felt fully comfortable in your skin as began to undress from the clothes you have worn for the last almost 24 hours. You cranked the nob to turn the water hot, allowing it to heat up just a little bit so that it wasn't unbearable to stand under. While you waited for it to heat up, you grabbed a towel from the shelves and opened a new bar of soap to use. When you returned to the shower, you were surprised to find the water surprisingly hot. Considering no one else was using the water at the moment, the hot water wasn't all used up, meaning you could for once bask in the hot water that rained down on your sensitive skin. You weren't used to water this hot, but you hated to waste a moment like this and turn the temperature down since you'd probably never get a time when all of the hot water wasn't used up in the day. You for once were not rushing to clean yourself due to the water being unbearably chilled. Instead, you found yourself simply letting the water torch your skin, making it tingle in slight pain, telling you that it was getting too hot, but at the same time causing you to feel like you were melting under the hot rain that sprinkled down on you. You were practically high on euphoria at the moment, between sharing romantic moments with Newt and this heavenly feeling of heat on your skin.