My Diary Entries

Lots of hate all around

Okay so I want to address what I talked a tiny bit about in my last chapter.

So I had brought up the gay marriage thing (which I'm still sooooo happy for!!) and yeah he said it was crazy. And he asked my why I cared about it too. Then I just went for the stairs so he wouldn't see me crying (I still have a thing about crying in front of anyone) and he said as I was half way up 'what are you gay?' And I just shouted 'no! No I'm not!' And just cried in my room. My dad has also said before how being gay is wrong. But that was a while ago.

So then yesterday he brought it up again, asking me what my deal was about it. He also said that marriage is between a man and a woman. I tried to say that it isn't. And he said it wasn't natural. Than I proved that it was by telling him how there are gay animals. We even watched a video on YouTube because he wouldn't believe me.

Then he said that God doesn't like them. But then I countered saying if (emphasis on the 'if') he created everyone that he created gays too. Then my dad just said he doesn't know what God thinks. He must've known I was winning the argument. And half the time I was mad and I didn't know what to argue with. I just wanted to tell him to stop saying these things. And he was saying all that to his Bisexual daughter. It makes me wish I wasn't Bi. It's not fun at all anymore. It was fun because I could finally admit to myself if I thought a girl was attractive.

But now I kind of want to be straight so I wouldn't have to deal with coming out. But I'm not. I even have a girlfriend I really like. Ugh why do things have to be so stupid.

And I spent the rest of those days talking about it with friends and cussing my dad out a LOT. Well, over text messages of course. You wouldn't believe half the things I called him. I know he's my dad and all but I don't think he'll ever accept me if he knows. Like he hopefully would hate me. But he'd never accept me.

And I haven't brought Bisexuality to him because he probably doesn't think it's real. He barely even thinks homosexuality is. I'm just so annoyed with him about it.

Btw earlier my uncle tried to order me around again and I told him he wasn't my dad and he told my dad and my dad brought it up. Then he told me to do the thing and got me mad. Like really? I hate my stupid uncle. Like if there's a little napkins on the table and I didn't even put it there he tells me to throw it away and stop getting it dirty. He tells me to do stuff. Like the other day my cup was in there because I placed it there really quick before going to the bathroom, he came here before I was done and when I got out he was mad and ordered me to clean it up. Like seriously I was in the fucking bathroom it was only there for a second.

I hate that fucking dickhead!

Sorry I've just been mad lately. And everytime he orders me I just try my best and hold back from saying anything. And then later my grandma says I'm the mean one and my dad says to be nicer. Like *puts up middle finger* is that nice enough for ya?!

Like seriously fuck them. I hate them. I blame puberty. Or teenage hormones I don't know.