Spider-Gwen 3 || The Fall

Part of Us || Felicia Hardy

"And the venom starts to swallow me whole"

-Black Holes, The Warning

The hum of a microwave was the only sound accompanying today's Netflix comedy special in Felicia's apartment. She was laying still on her couch, clad in sweatpants and a sweater with her legs bundled up in a blanket as her eyes remained glued to the screen of her laptop.

Over the past month or so, the platinum hair dye that Felicia used had begun to fade and was now visible only at the tips of her long, brunette strands. She was beginning to look much more like the former lead guitarist of the Mary Janes on the outside... but on the inside, she still couldn't find that person whom she once was.

Don't think about it. Just watch the stupid special.

Numbing out to avoid her mistakes and emotions had felt easy at first-the shock of finally being free of the symbiote's influence had helped Felicia shut her brain off whenever she'd wanted. But now, after being accustomed to autonomy and free will again, it had become more difficult.

Her fingers fiddled with her guitar pick necklace as she watched the comedy show, listening to renowned comedian Tom Lumaney rattle off another bit, culminating in his audience laughing heartily.

Felicia didn't laugh. She hadn't laughed once this throughout this whole experience.

A ding from the kitchen made her pry her eyes away from the special, instinctively looking over as she heard the microwave finish. She paused the special, then flipped the blanket off her legs before groaning softly as she stood up from the couch. Hopefully the popcorn would be enough to keep her mind away from her past...

Felicia meandered to the kitchen, blowing a stray strand of hair off her face before finally getting to the microwave. She opened the door, watching some steam pour out as she retrieved her extra-buttered popcorn bag and tore the seal open. Didn't burn it this time. Whooppee. Felicia grumbled in her head, grabbing a plastic bowl from the cabinet and filling it up with her buttery, unburnt snack food. 

As she made her way back to the couch, popping a few pieces of popcorn into her mouth, something she'd tucked away in the corner of her living room caught her eye. Felicia's gaze was drawn to the gray sheets covering several items that she hadn't been able to sell a year and a half ago... things that would forever carry a mixed bag of emotions until she found a way to part with them.

Tearing her eyes away, Felicia returned to her couch, using her legs to keep her laptop propped up as she hit 'play' to continue the special. 

"...Witnessing an argument at a family reunion is kind of like seeing a minor car accident..." Tom Lumaney spoke, pacing across the stage as his audience chuckled. "...You know that nobody's hurt, you know that things are going to be RELATIVELY okay... but you're also just kind of sitting there awkwardly like-" He made a ridiculous-looking shocked face, causing his audience to laugh more before he smiled at them. "-It's so scary and awkward that you just sit there and don't know what to do!! Fear-induced freezing is a real thing, people. I experienced it when my grandma and my uncle argued over the last election on Thanksgiving..."

The corner of Felicia's lip raised in a half-smile, but nothing more. This guy was one of the best in the business, but even his jokes weren't enough to get a laugh out of Felicia.

She felt herself sink into the couch a little more and lifted another handful of popcorn to her mouth before munching on it. Felicia kept her eyes on the special, hoping that the best jokes were still yet to come, otherwise she was just going to start crying over everything that had happened again.