𝑨𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂 𝑳𝒐𝒈𝒂𝒏

𝕿𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓

ᒍᑌᒪIᗩᑎ

𝗜 𝗟𝗢𝗖𝗞𝗘𝗗 𝗠𝗬𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙 in my library, casting a boarder to keep everyone out. I cannot be bothered right now. I grabbed my pipe, lit it, and smoked until nothing was left. I raised my shirt and sighed. Gone. I need to up my dosage, probably change to something else. Nothing would get past Cain.

It's always the wolves sniffing around in my business. I brushed my hair back and sighed again. I'm so tired. I thought he was there hence why I went to his room, but I guess I fell asleep. I shouldn't have been asleep that long.

How long have I went without my medicine that my marks showed?

I made me another batch, pacing the rows of my library, reciting contents of a few books, memorizing, adding. I laid onto my beanbag and relaxed. How insulting.

To disrespect me in my own home. My eyes watered and I cussed myself. Smoke for a clear head, to stabilize my being, to forget, to stay...calm. Calm. Free. No reminders, not right now, not ever.

"JJ I'm sorry!"

No. I took another long pull and forced myself from my seat. I traced the spines of my books until I stopped to one, pulling it from the shelf. I went back to the beanbag and took a seat. I flipped it open, flipping through pages until I came to what I was looking for.

The spell of disregard. Different spells to have someone forget either long term memories or short term memories. Some can last for years, some are undoable.

I'm better than other Wiccans and Warlocks out there. "Better than" is actually an understatement. Most of the spells I used are ancient and forgotten...or completely formed by myself. The ones formed by me are dangerous. A mixture of a few new words mixed with old ones had been deemed by myself, forbidden spells.

It's practically dark magic, perfected dark magic. Thing is I use a lot of it to keep myself masked from others, especially the wolves. A cloaking spell. A repellent spell. A blockage spell. Barely heard, barely seen, mindfully quiet.

But to remember. For her to remember me, to remember what I did to her, to them. No. I don't want to remember either. I don't want to remember him, the bodies I've stacked over the years.

I hurt her.

I'm sorry Lotus...I can't let you remember what you saw that day. That vile person who was at first protecting you just to harm you. I'm so sorry Lo.

Suddenly there was a knock. "Julian we're back." Cain. I huffed and closed the book. You know how to come at the worst times. I could just do so later I guess.

"Julian? I know you're in here. Can you hear me?" I stopped by the door, hesitant to open. "I know you have some sort of spell up, I could feel it. I can't hear you but, I could hear your heartbeat."

Fuck. Steady.

He scoffs. "You fake. Let me in...I know you were in my room." Finally I undid the spell and opened the door. I crossed my arms.

"I was. I fell asleep thinking about us." He blushes. The sight fueled me. I smiled, reaching out and cuffing his collar. I tugged him inside and closed the door.

Boarder up, sound out.

"I missed you." I press into him, our faces inches apart.

"Umm...Logan is-

"Don't worry, they won't be able to hear us in here. I made a few adjustments." He didn't move to kiss me, he just stood there nervously. What we spoke about in the woods made me angry, he's too nosey when focused. I know he's the one that sent Lolita to ask for her memories of me.