Beautiful Redemption ━━ Teen Wolf [3] [Completed]

06 | fear of love

trigger warning ; the trigger really is just sadness and death

a/n ; this chapter is episode five but it doesn't really contain that much of the material

CHAPTER SIX

       FEAR OF LOVE

        Heartbreak was the worse kind of pain.

        It toppled over any of types of pain whether it was mentally, emotionally, or physical. Heartbreak was the worse. It didn't matter if it was heartbreak caused by a family member, friend, or the person you loved more than anyone in the world. Clara spoke from personal experience. Losing her brother was like losing a limp, losing a pack member. 

        They were best friends, closer than brother and sister if that was possible. She remembered that night, every horrible moment. He was suppose to pick her up from Clara's soccer game since he couldn't make it to the actually game. The road was empty until out of nowhere another driver came driving at full speed at him.

        The other driver was drunk, driving uncontrollably. During the collision and the impact, Ian's car was caught on fire and exploded. Of course, the body was never found but the police stated that Ian would have died immediately and it didn't matter if there was a body or not.

        He was just dead.

        After an hour of waiting at the soccer field for Ian to pick her up, Clara got a ride home from a friend. But as they were driving down the same road that the accident took place, police cars and half the town were surrounded around in the middle of the road. Clara rushed to the scene, having a sense of urgency to find out what was happening. 

        Once she saw her brother's car crushed together like a ball and completely on fire, Clara started to scream. She screamed so much that it began to hurt. People held her back as she tried to run to the car, hoping to find her brother's body. But it was of no use.

        After Ian's death, her mother locked herself in her bedroom for three weeks. For two weeks Clara had selectively chosen not to speak, not deciding to speak until her father was practically begging her too. It's amazing how one death, one death, made the Lennon family crumble. But after Ian, one year later, came her parents.

        Her parents who were brutally slaughtered by vengeful hunters for whom they made a deal with. For a long time, Clara blame herself for their death and that didn't stop. She still does blame herself but after the four months of living out of Beacon Hills, she's learned how to cope with it. Death was a sudden and painful thing. Thing about death was that it was unexpected.

        Just like Derek Hale's death.

  ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘

         It seemed like yesterday, since it actually was. Scott had recruited both Isaac and Clara to meet up with Deucalion. From what Scott had told her, Derek was planning on attacking the Alphas head on with the assistance of Cora and Boyd. Clara had never found a plan any stupider than that one. So, Scott enlisted the two other werewolves help to try and reason with Deucalion at an abandoned mall.

        But then Derek and the two other teenagers, Boyd and Cora, arrived. Kali, Ennis and the brain-dead Twins showed up, almost like they were expecting a fight. After a pass-back conversation between the pack and the Alpha, the battle finally begun. The whole fight seemed like a blurred, everything all happening in fast motions. 

        One thing that stood out was that Clara kept targeting Kali. The evil toe-fetish Alpha had murdered Erica in cold blood right in the vault and Clara wasn't going to let Erica's death go unjustified. But one thing clear was how the battle ended between the McCall Pack and the Alpha Pack.

        It was Derek and Ennis descending to their deaths. 

        Both Alphas fell off of a large hole in the middle of the room. They plummeted down the hole, landing motionless and bloody on the escalators. For Clara, it was like the whole world stopped and her heart froze still. Nobody could believe it.

        But that was last night and it was today.

        So here Clara was, sitting like a curled up ball on the edge of Derek's bed, in the process of mourning her dead ex-boyfriend. At this time, It didn't matter that her and Derek weren't together nor did it matter that he broke her heart. All that mattered was that he was dead and the familiar painful feeling of heartbreak was flooding back into Clara's cracked surface.

        Her goodbye to him still lingered in her mind, the promise that she would always love him. Well, she didn't break that promise, she still loved him. But it didn't matter now that he was gone. Of course, her forbidding feelings for Stiles were obviously still there but Derek was her first love, her only love.

        The love she lost.

        Clara's whole fear of love thing didn't stem too deep. It all started after her parent's death, when she swore to herself to not care about anyone and cemented her heart with stone. But one thing led to another and she ended up falling in love with Derek Hale. Even after there breakup, that first love she felt wasn't going away and it hurt even more.

        Soon enough, tears streamed down her cheeks as she rocked herself back-and-forth on the bed. God, Clara hasn't cried in the last four months and it almost felt foreign to her. It wouldn't have made a difference if Derek died in twenty years or if Clara was with someone, she proclaimed that her love for him would never die.

        But there was a thin line between loving someone and being in love with someone. It just so happened that before Derek's death, Clara was walking that line.

✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘  

        One thing that always calmed Clara down was driving. When ever she was stressed out or upset about something, driving always calmed her nerves. So that was her plan; get in her car and drive. She had no idea where she was going but it was somewhere she could just relax and ball her eyes out. Where she could mourn her dead friend. 

        With her shaking hands, she opened the driver's side of the car and hopped in, closing the door after her. Just by a simple glanced in the mirror, Clara saw that her entire face was puffy and eyes were bloodshot. Her body was violently trembling, feeling exhausted from the fact she's been crying for hours and haven't sleep all night.

        But once she placed her car key into the slot, a loud bang came from the window. Clara yelped before her wide eyes glanced over to the window. There, leaning against the window, was Derek. His face was completely pale, the only color was his hands that were coated with blood. He didn't have the energy to stand, easily falling onto the ground.

        Clara hurried out of the car and dropped down to his side, watching his eyes flutter close as he fell unconscious.

        "Derek!"

So...that happened. I know this chapter didn't really contain any scenes from episode five but I really wanted to cut to the chase and talk about Clara's fear of love. I think it's important to talk about in this story. Next chapter will be episode Six and it will contain sad CLEREK and happy/sad STARA so...there's that.

~ ~ ~ ~ Monrox (Katie)