Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 4 - She will adore you

               The day of departure has arrived. I am leaving my home, most likely never to return. To be honest, I am terrified. Before today, I had only ever left Winterfell to visit our bannermen, and those trips didn't always go well. In other words, I had never truly left. And now, here I am, forced to take the great leap.

               For the first and last time since Bran fell from that tower, I am going to visit him. I no longer have a choice; I must say goodbye. I hope to see him again one day. Standing up, in the best-case scenario.

               I take a deep breath and push open the bedroom door. My mother, whom I haven't seen since the accident, turns her bloodshot eyes toward me. Her hours of sleep could surely be counted on the fingers of one hand. She certainly expected her eldest daughter to support her, or even second her, in this ordeal. Robb is right: she hates me.

"You finally came," she says as I close the door. "I have to say goodbye to Bran."

               I sit on the edge of the bed. He looks so peaceful, as if nothing had happened and he were merely sleeping.

"I promise you we will see each other again. You will come to King's Landing to celebrate my wedding, and I will return to the North... I can't wait for you to tell me all about your exploits... King Robert said you would become a soldier, and I still believe him..."

               I catch a glimpse of movement from my mother. My denial is like the icing on the cake of our misfortunes. Bran may never wake up, and it is certain he will never walk again.

"I'll look after Father there, don't worry. Your mission, now that I'm leaving, is to look after Mother... and to listen to her..."

               I plant a kiss on Bran's forehead. His body is warm, a sign that he is still alive and must fight to stay that way. I stand up and remain by the bed, waiting for my mother to address a single word to me. Just 'Diana' would do. Formal, emotionless, but I would settle for it. Except the seconds pass like hours. Catelyn remains with her head bowed, impassive in the face of her eldest daughter's departure.

"Mother."

               With trembling hands, I leave the room. Our relationship has always been complicated. She expected me to be a perfect lady who never breathed a word of protest. Her disappointment was never a secret. Furthermore, my behaviour these past few weeks regarding Bran hasn't helped. It was unfair, but I don't believe I deserve such treatment.

♐︎

               After wiping my tears and my nose, I return to the castle courtyard where I find Jon and Robb in each other's arms. I am only one year older than my two brothers. And although Jon wasn't raised the same way we were, leaving them is a true heartbreak for me.

"Were you planning on leaving without saying goodbye?" I call out to my bastard brother.

               With a burst of laughter, he takes me in his arms again. This is the last time we will see each other, so we might as well not skimp on the tenderness, even if we've never shown much before.

               I will see Robb several times again, even if years will separate our meetings. Jon, however, is going to the Wall. A place from which many never return. Our uncle, Benjen, has been there for a very long time and is high-ranking; that is why he was able to come see us. But there is no guarantee Jon will ever be able to leave the Night's Watch.

"Is Tyrion Lannister going with you?"

"It seems so," my brother replies bitterly. "What a strange decision; the Wall is no inn."