Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 30 - Do not cry

               The Lannister and I spent the final minutes of our meeting discussing the poverty in the capital, as well as ways to aid families suffering from the loss of a kin following the Battle of the Blackwater.

               Once certain that all the subjects close to my heart had been addressed, I withdrew. I am heading now, spurred by a sudden wave of courage, towards Tyrion's room. It has been far too long since I avoided crossing his path. We need to speak to each other once and for all.

               When I knock on the dwarf's door, he asks me to state my identity. It would seem the scars he bears from the battle are not merely physical.

"I am glad to see you," Tyrion confesses as I sit upon his bed.

"I missed you," I reply. "But I needed to rest..."

               Neither of us believes that lie. Except we are both too polite to point it out.

"I have not seen you since..."

               I point to his scar, tracing it with a finger upon my own face.

"How do you find me?" he asks.

"It gives you a rebellious air, which you are in dire need of."

"I am rebellious!"

               We let slip a small laugh, which quickly dissipates. For Tyrion knows that I overheard his conversation with his father. I do not think we need to revisit the facts; dwelling on them would only make them more painful.

"You did a great deal for this city and all its inhabitants," I say suddenly. "We owe you our lives."

"Not him. He owes me nothing. He will spend the rest of his days ensuring it. Whilst I, the... the monster who murdered his wife, shall pay for it for the rest of my life."

               In silence, for I know not what to answer, I place my hand over the Lannister's. I should like to offer him more comfort, to support him, to protect him from all his detractors. For now, however, I shall content myself with simply being there.

♐︎

               Since the announcement of my pregnancy, the lords of the Small Council have imposed strict rules upon me regarding my diet and behaviour which, as you might guess, I do not follow. I continue to train with Bronn and to eat whatever seems good to me. Nevertheless, I no longer drink a single drop of wine. I do not want my child to end up like Joffrey—and I do not want to end up like Cersei.

               The members of the court treat me as if I were made of porcelain and could break at any moment. The Tyrells are the kindest, Margaery even more so than the rest. It is true that I had preconceptions about her, for I understood immediately that she coveted my throne. However, now she is proving to be a valuable friend.

               Joffrey is the one who has changed the most. He is as gentle as a lamb and bends to my every desire, exactly as he did when we first met. If I were a fool, I would believe he thinks he can erase the first two pitiful years of our marriage.

               Tyrion, for his part, has kept his distance. I imagine he prefers to spare me the pain of loving someone who does not love me back.

               Sansa is the only one who truly takes my mind off things. For some time now, she has had it in her head to marry Loras Tyrell. The latter participated in the Hand's Tourney and would have been slaughtered by the Mountain had I not intervened. He never thanked me. Our paths have not crossed since.