Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 44 - Not Theon !

"Myranda!"

               Ramsay's voice echoes through the Godswood. For once, I am glad to see him. I had no desire to kill Myranda – at least, not today. Ramsay would have held it against me, and I have no wish to see him angry with me.

               Myranda, looking diminished, steps away from me with her head bowed. She is terrified of him. What a healthy relationship...

"Leave her alone."

               While he reprimands her, I dust off my dress and fix my hair. I refuse to let her believe that intimidation works on me.

"I was in the Godswood for a good reason," I say then. "I would like to resume my prayer."

               I drop back to my knees without waiting. Even though I hear my husband sending Myranda back to her kennel, I pretend to notice nothing. Once quiet is restored, I bring back the little swirl of wind I was playing with just minutes earlier.

"You aren't praying..."

               Dammit! How do they manage to approach without me hearing them?

"You never pray," he adds.

"It's been a long time," I object. "Perhaps I've changed..."

"You? No... You will never change."

               It's insulting, but I let it pass. When I was in King's Landing, the stakes were no different. I had married Joffrey to protect Sansa, playing the part of the devoted woman to avoid drawing his wrath. Except I am tired now. I no longer have the strength to play a role.

"Oh..." he mutters. "Now this has changed... You don't talk back anymore."

"I only answer when it is worth it."

               My eyes widen as I feel his hand rest on the top of my head. I turn my face toward him, not quite knowing how to react.

"I'm no longer worth it? I remember a time when you would have bent over backward to satisfy my every..."

"Ramsay..." I warn him.

"...desire," he finishes, ignoring me entirely.

               His hand slides down to rest on my cheek. With his thumb, he caresses my lips. I close my eyes, fighting to suppress the shiver that runs through my entire body.

              You probably remember me saying that I hated Joffrey as much as I loved him. Well, I hate Ramsay as much as I desire him.

♐︎

               Any time I do not spend with Ramsay, I spend by my sister's side. In King's Landing, I had an immense amount of responsibility, and I used to create tasks for myself just to stay busy. Here, things are very different. I have no duty, save for producing an heir. And even though my new husband puts his whole heart into the task, I am still not pregnant.

               Thus, I have all the leisure to hatch the perfect plan to assassinate Ramsay and retake Winterfell from our enemies' hands.

"Stop pacing in circles, it isn't getting us anywhere," Sansa tells me, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm trying to think."

"Evidently, it isn't working."

               I drop onto the chair beside her. Judging by my ego, I do not appreciate the comment. Judging by my reason, getting angry would only confirm my sister's words.