Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 48 - Winter is coming

               With Robin hot on my heels, I fly down the stairs leading to the castle courtyard. Sansa is right; I am not fit to lead an entire army, not in the psychological turmoil into which Ramsay plunged me. I nevertheless suffer this lack of consideration as an injustice, especially after everything I have done for her.

"Diana..."

               I step into the lift and watch him join me without a word. We do not speak during the entire ascent, and it must be said that as sturdy as this mechanism may be, it is painstakingly slow. Once at the top, I head toward an observation post to contemplate the vastness beyond the Wall.

"You never spoke to me about Joffrey," Robin says at last.

"It was a whole different lifetime... One year?"

"Almost two."

"Two years," I repeat, stunned.

               My past will always catch up with me. Not just Joffrey, but Tyrion, whom I abandoned to his fate. My friend Shae, dead for betraying Tyrion after my departure. Young Tommen, who must rule under his mother's commands. I wonder where Bronn is at this very moment. If his plan worked, he must be living a life of leisure atop a mountain of gold.

"I am sure you heard a great many things about Joffrey," I begin.

"They are only rumours."

"Assume they are all true."

               My eyes settle on the horizon. No matter what monstrosities lurk behind those towering, snow-covered trees, an entire world of possibilities stretches out before me. After all, the wildlings are called the "free folk." Joffrey would certainly have hated having to associate with them. We would surely have fought about it, before both deciding to do exactly as we pleased.

"We hated each other," I blurt out suddenly. "I imagined hundreds of times how I would kill him. And then, he died..."

"Good riddance, no?"

"Yes, of course, but... when I agreed to marry him, I accepted that life. I do not regret in the least meeting the Brotherhood and finding you again. Except... my entire life collapsed that day."

"I understand. Losing the future, you imagined for yourself is the quickest way to go mad."

               Even though Robin rarely confides in anyone, I am aware of his own traumas. What Theon inflicted upon the inhabitants of Winterfell haunts him to this day. All those people had sworn vows to serve us. But at what cost?

"I've forgotten my father's voice," I confess. "Robb's too. Arya's as well... But I will remember Joffrey's last words for the rest of my life. His eyes were bloodshot... but my name was the last thing he said. I didn't let anyone touch him. When I concentrate, I can still feel Jaime's arms pulling me away from his remains. I never hated Joffrey more than the day he abandoned me."

               I let the silence settle once more before pulling the letter from my pocket. Still folded, I hand it to my friend.

"Ramsay left me a little note."

               Surprised at first, he takes it slowly and scans the few words. Neither of us can bring ourselves to read them aloud. But I consider that you deserve to know them, if only to realize the madness that inhabits this man, as well as the great peril I face: "To my dear and tender wife, we will soon be reunited."

♐︎

               The slap echoes through the cottage. Petyr holds his cheek, though he does not appear surprised. He must have expected that I would catch up with him sooner or later to make him pay. However, Baelish remains true to himself. If he lets himself get angry, or contradicts me in any way, he risks provoking a new conflict. And his footing is already shaky enough as it is.