Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 34 - A little encounter with the Boltons

               I slowly lower my head toward my hands. They are a blur. My vision is obstructed by my tears. My heart contracts in on itself; I find it hard to breathe. The horrific images Joffrey took pleasure in describing to me race before my eyes.

               They say my mother had her throat slit before her body was thrown into the river, that Talisa was stabbed right in the stomach while she was pregnant, and that Robb... That Robb was beheaded and the head of his dire wolf was sewn onto his body.

               None of the crimes committed by my brother deserved such a punishment. Nothing will ever excuse this behaviour, and Walder Frey will end up paying for it.

               The door to my room opens, though I cannot see who enters. I hear only a few footsteps before two warm hands are placed upon my cheeks. Tyrion.

"Diana, I am so sorry..."

               I cling to the little man and let myself weep against him. For a few seconds, Tyrion allows me to glimpse a new glimmer of hope. An illusion. Hope is something I cherished, something I cultivated so as not to sink. And, as you can see, it paid me back in full.

               I was trapped; Tywin Lannister made a fool of me. He made me believe that marrying my sister to Tyrion and giving him an heir would be enough to protect my own. He made me believe for a brief moment that a peace was possible. All of this before driving an arrow into my brother's heart.

"I hate them all," I articulate between two sobs.

"I know..."

               Sansa and I are the last survivors of House Stark. One of the oldest and most illustrious lineages in Westeros ends with us. My children will be Baratheons; my sister's will be Lannisters. Our name will disappear.

"This is no time to give up," Tyrion whispers to me. "You must be strong."

               I have done nothing but be strong. I pulled myself up after every ordeal, each more terrible than the last. I watched my father die. I married a tyrant. I was raped, beaten, humiliated. I travelled across the entire country to restore peace, and I never balked at taking up arms. I am tired.

"You must hold on... for Sansa..."

"I can do nothing more for Sansa... It's up to you to protect her now."

"You don't know what you're saying... Sansa is counting on you."

               I slowly wipe away my tears. I am happy to know that Sansa finally saw that everything I did, I did for her. I knew she would understand.

"Mourn your loss," Tyrion tells me. "It is only natural that you take all the time you need. Once you have recovered, do not forget that we need you."

♐︎

               I have taken back my observation post on the bench facing Blackwater Bay. When I am here, no one dares to disturb me. Especially since the time I sent a Lannister soldier flying. He had come to fetch me under King Joffrey's orders. The poor man hadn't asked for anything, but he didn't seem to understand the meaning of the word "no."

               My husband hasn't dared disturb me since that day. He hasn't tried to torment Sansa anymore. Nor has he tried to hurt me. When I lie down beside him at night, he contents himself with throwing a glance my way—without malice. It looks more as though he is checking to make sure I am alright.

               I content myself with watching the movement of the waves and losing myself in my thoughts. This is how I choose to mourn, far from the turmoil of the court. I no longer have nightmares, and the constant feeling of guilt no longer haunts me. With any luck, I will be back on my feet in time for Prince Tommen's wedding.