Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 26 - You didn't ask

"Forgive my lack of delicacy," the King slayer adds. "But understand that here, I have very little source of entertainment. Aside from the simpleton who brings me my meal, I speak to no one."

"You are forgiven. Do you have any questions? I can give you news from the capital."

"How is Cersei?"

"True to herself," I reply bitterly. "Since my father died, she has shared the regency with Tyrion."

"Joffrey..." Jaime begins.

"My husband," I clarify.

"Should I congratulate you?"

"It is what a father-in-law ought to do, isn't it?"

               For several long seconds, Jaime challenges me with his gaze. I do not look away. Why should I? It is only the truth. My father understood it and was killed for it. Logic would dictate that I act as if nothing were wrong to avoid the same fate. Except I am far too revolted to remain silent.

"So, Tyrion is the Hand," he says suddenly, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Until your father's return, yes. He rules the realm with an iron hand."

"What about you?"

"I do what I must to stay alive. I suppose..."

               Over the last few weeks, that hasn't quite been the case. I killed a Kingsguard, fled the capital to find the Crown's number one enemy, and spent time with the Brotherhood Without Banners. I am not exactly an example to follow.

"I came to stop the war," I explain. "I will see to it that you are released as soon as possible."

"You want to stop the war?" he repeats, incredulous.

               I have had enough of this internal conflict that only goes in circles. So let's be brief, concise, and move on:

"I left King's Landing to persuade Robb to give up against Tywin. Because Robb is going to lose, one way or another. And if it isn't on the battlefield, Tywin will find a more insidious way. I must now return to King's Landing as quickly as possible. Everyone tells me I have chosen my side, that I have betrayed my own, or whatever else. The fact is that Sansa is alone there and that I am her only defence. The fact is that I can flee as I please, but she is trapped between Cersei's claws. Beyond that, the people need a strong and loving queen to compensate for their incapable and self-centred king. Tyrion needs me too; he's told me so often enough. And then there's Joffrey who... Good grief..."

"You have a lot on your mind," the Lannister comments.

"I have no idea what I am doing... I control nothing."

"Has it never occurred to you that this is exactly what you should do? It is what I do."

"Wonderful idea. Especially seeing where it has led you..."

               I look down at my dress. I am still wearing the clothes I wore when I left King's Landing: a white dress onto which metal plates have been sewn to protect the most fragile areas, and boots. This is how I have dressed since the riot.

               My dress is now more gray than white, and my boots are worn, giving the impression that I have been gone for months. If that were the case, I would no longer remember Tyrion's voice asking me to return safe and sound.

♐︎

               Seated in Robb's tent, I wait for the meal to be served. Around the table, the remaining members of our family barely dare to look each other in the eye. My brother and his wife, Talisa, hold hands to my right. To my left, my mother is lost in thought.