We're A Wreck

6

Sasuke woke up alone and cold, his cover haven fallen off his bed in the middle of the night. A chill had settled in the air, making Sasuke shiver.

There was a pounding in his head. The ache pounded to the beat of his hurt, saddened heart.

Naruto hadn't come after all. In fact, he probably had such a great time that he forgot all about Sasuke, which was fine, Sasuke was fine on his own. He didn't need Naruto's attention to feel okay about himself. He didn't need the love and affection he so desperately craved from Naruto. It was simply a desire, not a necessity. He never needed Naruto and never will.

As Sasuke's resolve hardened, he slowly rolled out of bed, standing up quickly. This movement made his head spin and his knees buckle, the weight of eating so little and doing so much weighing upon his shoulders. An exhaustion was taking hold of his emotions, filling him with dread for the coming days.

Everything was fine. In the long run, Naruto and Sasuke would never work out. They couldn't. Not whenever Naruto was so clearly happy with Sakura, not when the two boys couldn't seem to get their shit together. Not whenever Sasuke began to think that maybe it was all pointless to begin with.

He never had a chance. And he never will.

With a long, heavy sigh, Sasuke made his way into the kitchen. His phone still sat on the counter. It would probably be best to check his messages, so that would be the first step.

20 missed calls from Naruto.

30+ texts from Naruto.

3 missed calls from Sakura.

Holy shit! Sasuke thought, surprised. Not only had Naruto called twenty times, but he had spammed Sasuke's phone with texts as well. And why had Sakura called him three times? What was that all about?

First things first, open Naruto's messages. Sasuke scrolled through the chat, scanning over the things Naruto had sent him. They were all similar, Naruto complaining about Sasuke not answering his phone and consequently then being unable to arrive at Sasuke's without previous knowledge of whether or not the other man was home.

Naruto had wanted to visit. That much was clear.

The very last text threw Sasuke off.

Naruto
Listen, I'm sorry for blowing
you off, but please answer me.
I can't take the silent treatment
anymore. I need to talk to you
and quickly things just... you
know what, nevermind. It's not
important. Just...have a good
night.

Reading this made Sasuke feel horrible, guilt rolling through him in waves. This was wrong, so wrong. Something had clearly happened and Naruto needed someone, but Sasuke wasn't there for him. Sasuke was never there for him when I counted most. But Sakura was. And maybe that's why Naruto chose her over him.

Maybe that's why Sakura and Naruto were better together than Sasuke and Naruto could ever be.

And maybe that's why Sasuke felt like sobbing. He hated feeling inferior, he hated not being loved, he hated being lonely, he hated not having the man he loved by his side. He hated everything. He always had. And always will.

...

Naruto paced back and forth, attempting to make up his mind. He didn't want to break up with Sakura, but she so clearly didn't love him anymore. Even so, could they not fix what they had? Naruto was trying so hard to create a better space for the two, to create something they could share and that would grow with them. But nothing worked. Nothing could repair the damage that Naruto had caused.

So, Naruto called off of work, wanting to set things right and needing the time to do so.

Then, he called Sakura.

"Hey," he said as she picked up.

"Hey, what's up?" She asked, yawning.

Naruto frowned, biting his lip. "Well, you see, I was wanting to talk to you about something. It's kind of important, so I was hoping we could meet up today."

A pause, then, "Sure. What time?"

"About twelve sound okay? We can talk as we walk, if that's alright? Or we can go to the park?"

"Either is fine with me. Also, twelve is good. I'll see you there," she said, sounding tired.

"Okay. See you."

Sakura hung up, and Naruto sighed, feeling dejected and exhausted. Life was tiring. People were tiring. And Naruto just wanted to sleep well at night, eat decently in the mornings, and be allowed to exist as a normal human being.

That wasn't possible, though.

Naruto wanted nothing more than to go back to bed, but he forced himself to take a shower and get ready, blow drying his hair and straightening out his t-shirt.

As he looked at himself in the mirror, a sort of disgust came about him, making his nose scrunch; Naruto's clothes were all baggy, old, faded t-shirts and ripped jeans that were wore out. He looked poor and felt poor. Which he was.

Shaking it off, Naruto grabbed his things and got ready to leave, one hand on his doorknob, the other in his pocket. He stood there momentarily, conflicted. Could he do this? Was he able to do this? Could he stomach it?

Either way, did he have a choice?

Naruto stepped outside, worried. What if something went wrong?

He doubted his ability to do anything correct the first time.

Hopefully, though, nothing would go wrong.