Love and Deepspace - Headcanons

🌟Hard decision - Third time's the charm!?🌟

You couldn't stand them any longer... The two men in your life are bringing up the darkest sides in you.

Zayne always has less time for you with his job and every time you ask him to spend time together he refuses. A surgery here, an emergency there, reports to make... Something comes in the way every damn time, and it feels more and more like excuses to avoid you. And if these aren't enough ... you always get a sting in your heart when he's teasing you. You know he meant it just for fun, but nonetheless... you are slightly hurt by his cold words and reserved behavior. You're feeling small and unwanted lately... you know it's all your fault, but you can't bear with these feelings anymore, you're drowning in the darkness of your heart. And you can't tell him because he has no time for you. So you told him he can stop his efforts to gain your heart. You're no longer in. And he didn't even hold you back as you told him so, just standing there looking at you and saying nothing. So you just left him there and went through the door.

And Rafayel... you told him, you can't stand his teasing, his neediness anymore. It's always about him, his art, his exhibitions or just his longing for you. Where Zayne is too less, Rafayel is too much. Sometimes you wish that your dates are about you, but they never are. Sooner or later it's about him again. And you are exhausted to the brim. So you went to his home and told him you don't want to see him again and ended your employment as his bodyguard. He just told you to leave and that you didn't deserve his attention anyway... You never saw him that cold and distant, and you left the place crying.

So now you're in the elevator at your apartment, tears falling down your cheeks... you felt so small, unwanted, and just... bad. All you want now is to fall on your bed and cry the soul out of your body, giving yourself away to these dark feelings so that they can no longer indulge you.

As the door opens, you walk out without looking as you bumped into something unexpected. Strong arms catch you, and you look up into azure blue eyes and white blond hair.

"Xavier!" Your neighbor, hunter partner and best friend, as you can see through your tears and swollen eyes.

Embarrassed that he caught you in such a weak moment, you wipe your tears away.

„Sorry for running into you!" you try to wiggle out of his hold and trying not to look up to him to closely

But as always, He knows you too well and nothing escapes his attentive gaze.

„You're crying... come with me." he states in his usual calm manner and guides you to a door. The door to his apartment, you notice, as he opens it with a touch of his finger.

How come you are in front of his door? didn't you walk out on your floor? Did you accidentally press the wrong button in the elevator?

As you enter, he walks you to his sofa. Exhausted as you feel after that emotional drenching afternoon you thankfully tale the opportunity and sit down.

"Want to tell me what happened?" he asks and takes the spot beside you, his arm still in your back, rubbing you gently.

His presence alone is always able to calm you down, and the soothing up and down at your back does its magic too. You lean into him, seeking some comfort as you start telling what you had done earlier. How you felt this past few weeks around Zayne and Rafayel and that you decided to make an end to this. Xavier doesn't interrupt you once, listening to your rambling and tears.

"I'm sorry that you feel like this" he whispers after all of your tears were spent, and you fell silent. "You know you can always talk to me."

Suddenly he shifts a little, and you turn, curious what he's doing.

Xavier is facing you now, seeking your gaze and holding it with his unbreakable confidence: "I'm everything that they aren't. I'm around you even when I work, when we both work. You are always the main priority in my life, I will never reject you. And I'm happy to hear your worries and daily happenings."

Shortly his eyes shift to the side and are back in an instant:

"Maybe you will decide to choose me then?"