Thorns and Petals

Chapter-29

Can we just talk?

I looked out the window absentmindedly, allowing the fresh evening breeze to sweep past me. The sun had begun to set and as always, I silently admired the various hues it splashed across the sky. Every day was the same but something about this evening felt different. 

Silence filled the house and I remembered holding Melina in my arms, kissing her for the first time. Her skin felt warm and my large frame completely engulfed her small one. At that moment, I succumbed to her wholly. She had no idea she's ruining me like this.

I averted my gaze to the rose I had been holding in my hand.

Why is it so hard to talk to her?

"I'll be waiting for you in the car," said Ben, and the suitcase I held in my other hand slowly slipped away into his.

I had been standing infront of the door for fifteen minutes like a total guilty coward. She hadn't stepped out of her room since yesterday and not only did that worry me but I felt. . .sad.

I sighed, gripping the stem of the rose tightly. Gently knocking on her door, I took a step back. To my surprise, it opened almost immediately revealing Melina who had her hair let down.

The rare sight caught me off guard and I recomposed myself only to utter pure rubbish, "Uh I-I'm leaving. . .?"

Shit.

She grimly eyed me and my attire before giving a small nod.

"No! Actually. . I-I wanted to talk to you. ."

I could tell my odd behavior was confusing her with every passing second. She let go of the door and made way for me to enter.

"Come in,"

"Thanks," I sheepishly muttered, inhaling the scent of her room. Somehow, it smelled a lot like my room with the fresh linen mixed with the fragrance of her body deodorant, I assumed.

We faced each other and she perched against the table, evidently maintaining a distance with me. That hurt me.

"Melina. . I'm sorry," I blurted out.

She met my eyes and stared at them with an unfathomable emotion. I couldn't tell if she wanted me to give her an explanation or seal my lips and leave. I took the silence as a hint for the former.

"I know you're mad at me right now."

"Why would I be?" She spoke out, looking away. Non-chalantly resting her arms against the table, I simply wondered if she knew how her presence was bringing a side of me I never thought I'd see for myself.

"I'm going to be leaving you again and it hasn't even been a week since I came back from my last one. Please don't tell me you are unaffected by this. . ." My voice almost choked towards the end.

"I'm really not," She uttered, "It's your job, you need to focus on it."

Quietness surrounded us and I averted my gaze to the ground. I strongly believed my ears were deceiving me, for I expected a completely opposite reaction. If she really was so cooperative, I had nothing much to worry about.

That night when my rude hands touched her skin for the first time, tugging her figure closer to mine with every kiss I planted on her sweet lips, I couldn't help but notice the various emotions that played in her round eyes. She was surprised and lost at the same time, but then there was glint of satisfaction I found for a fraction of second.

I looked at her and thought, No way could she be okay with this.

"I'm an arrogant man, ain't I?"

"What?"

I took a step forward, "I just care about myself and overlook everybody else's feelings. I have a heart of ice but a tongue made of hell's fire."

Melina stared at me, unblinking, "What on earth are you talking?"

"These are the things you're supposed to be telling me right now. You're supposed to ridicule me and yell at me for my actions," I stated, looking into her flabbergasted eyes.

Her eyebrows knitted together and she released her arms from the table, "Why would I yell at you? It's your job!"

"But I'm your husband. I don't like the idea of leaving my wife all alone at home while my ass is away at work. Leaving you isn't going to make me feel any better and I know for a fact that you don't want me out that door!"

We stilled at my outburst.

I took deep breaths and her widened eyes was enough for me to realize I had blurted way too much.

"I'm going to miss you, a lot," I said, breathless, "The last time I left, I couldn't stop thinking about you the entire time. My focus is completely ruined. I'm trying hard to get back on track but I know I'm going to fail anyway."

Pushing her hair back, she inhaled sharply and her eyes landed on the rose I held. She looked back and forth at me and the rose and I realized what I had actually come in for.

"Oh, this is for you," I raised my arm to give her the rose, "I wanted to properly apologise to you before I left. But. . even if you don't want it, it's fine. Materialistic things can't make up for one's action, anyway. You don't have to forgive me but I wanted to give you this much sooner because I really. . .like you,"

She must think I'm absolutely pathetic and have no sanity left whatsoever. At this point, I don't even know if I'm the normal me. Despite the messier my words were becoming, I still had to find a way to show her I truly liked her and wanted her.

"Thanks," She muttered, taking the flower.

To be frank, I don't expect her to say anything else. But going silent on me is digging a hole in my heart.

". . .why did you kiss me that night when you knew you were going to leave again?" She asked in a soft voice.

Her lips quivered and my heart clenched at what she spoke, "Sweetie. . . I'm reckless, I admit, but I kissed you because I was very happy at that time. I'm not the kind of guy to lead you on and leave you hanging there. . ." Her dulled expression made me realize how selfish I've been all along, "I see you way more than that. I'm beginning to value your presence a lot."

She sadly looked up at me with soft eyes that seemed to caress my soul.

"I'm trying to believe you, I really am. I've had my trust broken by a man. . who didn't even try earning it back and simply pushed me away, but you are giving me hope. Too much hope that it scares me," She spoke out and I felt the enormity of her sentences. To make it worst, I knew who she was referring to. Her father.

We both are looking for the same thing. . .

She took small steps forward, gradually closing the distance between us. Her eyes glistened with tears and before I knew it, she rested her hand on my arm before pulling me into a kiss.

. . .and that is love.