Spare Love

19 | 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺

There was a knock on my door before I hear it open.

"Milly?"

"Milly. Please." she begged.

I've been sitting straight on my bed looking dull. Ever since I passed out, things have been hard for me. Mom had me stay at home, and everyone made sure to visit to watch me eat and sleep well.

But every time someone brings me food, I had to puked it all out when they leave. I couldn't sleep. I felt disgusted of myself and I don't know why.

She was staring at me from the edge of my bed now. "Milly.." For the past week, Briar has been stopping by my house every morning before school and every afternoon to see how I'm doing.

"It's been lonely without you in school." she hurtfully chuckles. "Please. It's been a week. I want to hear your voice." I could hear her voice tremble while she puts her hand on top of mine before squeezing it.

I wouldn't speak to anyone. I'm a depressed ass shit, and the worst part is that everyone felt sorry for me. They just want me to get better, which I hate.

I finally look at her and seeing her teary eyes made me feel bad that she's sad because of me.

The last time I saw Briar laughing and had no eye bugs but now she does, except this time she was now gaining a bit of dark circles under her eyes.

I forced my throat to let out a word but nothing came out. Well, that's what I get for not talking to anyone for almost a week.

I've completely shut everyone off and I feel so empty that it's starting to hurt.

I let my mouth drop again. "I.." She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something as my voice cracked. "ī'm sořRî." Even though I whisper softly, my voice still cracks.

"No." she sniffs, shaking her head, "I don't want to hear an apology. I'm your best friend. I'll be here for you at all times." She smiles softly, but even a dog can sense that she is in pain on the inside.

"I'll be there every step of the way." She shuffles getting closer to me with her hand still on mine.

"I promise not to abandon you. She raises both of our hands in prayer, saying, "So, please get better for me." "For your Papa." she finishes.

Papa.

I want to cry, but I've already used all of my tears all day today when nobody was around. Papa would be very disappointed in me. Well, he should already have since I didn't listen to what he said.

After two weeks, I was starting to feel better. I was bored and couldn't stay at home any longer, so my mother forced me to decide between going to school and a mental health facility.

Of course I had to choose school, there was no way I would wanna make friends with people who are 5-6 times double my age.

I was sitting on the passenger seat when a hand rest on my shoulder making me turn to them.

"You sure about this? You know I can ask mom to-"

"It's fine." With a slow smile, I place my hand over his. My hand was shaking wildly when he looked down at it before looking back up at me. I immediately pulled my hands back and fastened my seatbelt.

We reached the main entrance door and I couldn't move. My heart was beating fast as I tried to calm my breathing down.

A hand rest on my hand again, "Mills, you don't have to do this if you're still not okay." Kyle looked so worried as well as Jax whos head was now popping from the back seat.