OUT

Chapter 52

Thursday, April 23rd 2015

Jack stared down at his phone screen in a mix of anxiety and confusion - his father was trying to video call him. Jack was surprised he even knew how to do it, because he barely knew how to work the iPhone Jack had gotten him for Christmas two years previously. Jack shoved in his headphones and reluctantly, he answered the call to a black screen.

'Hello?'

'Jack, is that you?' shouted his father from the other side of the phone, deafening him.

He winced, 'jaysus.'

'Jack, con's atá tú?'

'Hi. What's up? I can't see you, put the phone in front of you.'

'What?' shouted his father.

'Move the...I can't...look at the front of your phone screen.' His father fumbled with the phone for a second, and then his face appeared on the little screen. He was holding it under him, which gave him three extra chins, and he stared down with confusion at his own device.

'Jack! There you are. What's this yoke? How can I see you?'

'It's a video call.'

'Jaysus, how did you do that?'

'You called me.'

'Jaysus, technology is mad, in't it?'

'Yeah,' Jack said, his anxiety building, 'everything OK?'

'Just a few updates, I suppose...' Jack felt his body stiffen. Calls like this usually meant someone was dead. He could see an extreme awkwardness in his father's face, a discomfort. Although based on his tone of voice, he'd have known something was up.

'Oh?'

'Me and your mother...' his father began, then made a few inaudible noises that resembled words, but Jack couldn't make them out. 'We're going to take a bit of a break, I think.' He said, but then repeated with more confidence, 'we are going to take a break.'

'Oh.'

He wasn't fully sure what he expected from his father, but it wasn't that.

'She's...I'm...we both have a few issues we need to work on...' Jack stared at his gashed eye, which had mostly healed, and remained silent, waiting for his father to continue. 'She's moved out.'

'To where? Where is she?' he asked, but realised immediately that he didn't really care. He didn't care where his mother was, or if she was OK. He didn't want to see her, or hear from her, or hear of her. He was just happy she was out of his life.

'She's staying with her sister. The pair of them collected her things from the house the other night. She won't be back.'

'Whatcha mean? Like are ye getting a divorce?' His father didn't say anything for a while. 'Are ye separating?'

'I'd say so, ya.'

'Good,' he said, before he could even think about it.

'I'm going away for a while too,' his father said, and Jack cocked an eyebrow, 'a centre in Galway.'

'A centre?'

His father nodded, 'yeah. I've just finished packing. I'll be gone for a few weeks. That's why I wanted to call you.'

'What kind of a centre? What are you talking about?'

'For the drink, Jack,' his father said, almost shamefully, 'I need to get help.'

'What about the farm?' Jack asked, feeling selfish and inconsiderate immediately as the words left his mouth, but also fearful that he was expected to move home and do that.

'Don't worry, that's not why I'm calling you. You can stay in Dublin, I've got all that sorted.' Jack felt a pang of relief, followed by guilt. 'It's time I get myself fixed. Ninety days.'

'That's a long time.'

'I know. No contact with the world for the firsht two weeks, at least. It's meant to help ya avoid distraction. But don't worry, I've arranged to get out on day release with a chaperone to vote.'

'Oh?' Jack didn't really know what else to say.

'You can come visit after a month...if ya want.' Jack didn't speak. It was a lot of information being dumped on him. 'You don't have to visit. Only if you have the time.'

'Text me the name of the place.'

'I will. Look, I know tings have been a bit weird the lasht while, but I promise I want to fix tings. With your mother, and Mick, alcohol was all I had to stay wit her. But I had to protect you. But you're all grown up now. You can take care of yourshelf. And now I need to take care of myshelf.'

Jack nodded. He was never particularly close with his father, but he had always protected Jack and did his best. He couldn't blame him for doing what he did, dealing with his mother and the loss of Mick. Jack did feel for him. He realised he was stronger than he had given him credit for. God knows how long he was suffering in silence at the hands of his mother.

'I love you, Jack. And hopefully I'll see you soon.'

'Thanks,' he said as he hung up the phone, and felt guilty for not saying it back.