SUBMISSIVE 2: THIRDY VILLANUEVA

CHAPTER 11

Eleven

I am a kind of woman who date to marry.. Ano nga ba ang isasagot niya? Kung alam niya sa sarili niya na kahit anong gawin niya ay hindi 'yon pwede sa ngayon?

"Why not date first? Officially girlfriend and boyfriend. Doon naman nagsisimula 'di ba?"

Tila nahulog sa malalim na pag-iisip ang dalaga. He can't even see any emotion in her beautiful face. Lihim siyang napamura.

And to think na aayawan siya nito ay tila huminto ang inog ng mundo. He wanted to hug her, to tell her what's in his mind right now.

To tell her he's afraid. Na para bang sa isasagot nito ngayon nakasalalay ang buhay niya.

Fuck! He wasn't afraid like this in his whole life before. Ngayon lang.

"Alam mo naranasan kong nakipag-relasyon ng kung ilang taon. Naghintay at umasa ako. Pero wala akong napala. Kaya hangga't maaari, makipag relasyon lang ako kapag ang nasa isip ng lalaking manliligaw sa akin ay kasal ang end game at hindi puro laro lang"

Shit. Whoever that mother fucker she just had a relationship with, gusto niyang sakalin. "Give me time to settle the things I need to fix. After that, let's talk about this.. I mean the end game that you—"

"I see. You're not the marrying type"

"It's not like that" Paano ba niya ipaliwanag dito ang laman ng isipan niya? Na gustong-gusto niya itong pakasalan subalit may mga bagay na humahadlang?

May bagay na kailangan niyang isarado muna bago magbukas ng panibagong kabanata?

Ngunit iisa lang ang sigurado, sa pagbubukas ng kabanatang iyon sa buhay niya, itong babaeng kaharap niya ang magiging wakas.

Wala e, he's down. Hes whipped by her charms. He was trap by her smiles. And he was cage by her inner beauty.

Oo may pagkakataon na maldita at suplada talaga ito, mga bagay na ayaw na ayaw niya sa isang babae. He has rules, but he already broke those rules just for her.

Hindi siya pala-ngiti at pala-tawa pero sa babaeng ito, nagagawa niya ang mga bagay na iyon. He hates mountain climbing but for her happiness, he did it.

He hates clingy but with her, he became submissive and just let her clingy unto him. Ayaw niya ng eskandalo hanggat maaari pero bakit kahit saang lugar ay nagagawa niyang angkinin ito kahit pa alam niyang hindi safe?

Ang daming bakit. Pero hindi niya alam ang sagot. Iisa lang ang alam niya. Gusto niya ito. Walang duda.

"Then what?"

Napapikit siya. Hell, hindi pa siya naging ganito sa tanang buhay niya.

"I can give you my time. I can give you my self. I can give you my life, no doubt on that. But not my name. I can't offer you that.. Not that I don't want to but as of now, I am powerless"

Parang pinipiga ang puso ni Jeferylle, she wanted to ask why. But didn't she told herself that no matter what, ipaglalaban niya ang nararamdaman niya sa lalaking ito?

Na handa siyang sumabak sa kahit anong pagsubok kung sakali? Basta sabihan lang siya nito kung anong label meron sila dahil hindi na siya masaya sa casual sex lang.

She wanted more than that.

Masama bang maging totoo sa nararamdaman? Masama bang umasa kahit kaunti lang? Masama bang maging greedy paminsan-minsan?

Wala e. She fell. She fell in love with him. There. Inamin na niya. The heart abnormal beats, the feelings that she can't name, everything that isn't normal when he's near, that's the feeling of being in love with him.