SUBMISSIVE 2: THIRDY VILLANUEVA

CHAPTER 21

TWENTY ONE

"Bali-baliktarin man ang mundo, kabit pa din ma. At ayokong matulad ang anak ko sa akin"

"Napatawad mo ba ang ama mo bago niya ibinalik ang hiram niyang buhay anak?"

Jeferylle snorted. "Oo naman ma"

Kaya? Siguro nga. Pero ang sakit na dulot ng ginawa nito noon ay nanatiling nakaukit sa kaibuturan ng kanyang puso. Naghilom man, may pilat pa din.

Yes. Her father gave her the love that she deserves. Nurtured her, protected her. But after that, in her tenth birthday, she lost him.

Sumakabilang bahay ito.

"Kapag ba nagpa-annul siya, tatanggapin mo?"

"Hindi ko alam ma"

"Mahal mo?"

Oo. Sobra. She sighed heavily. Sa totoo lang, hindi siya sanay sa ganito. Hindi siya open na tao. She couldn't open up her feelings lalo na sa mama niya.

Mas gusto niyang sinasarili na lang. She doesn't want to drag her mother in every problem she has. Matanda na ito, at ayaw niyang bigyan ng stress.

She deserves peaceful life. After the traumatic experience of life and love, she deserves the world.

"O dahil lang gusto mong bigyan ng buong pamilya ang anak mo? Ang pag-aasawa Erie ay hindi laro. Na kapag nagsawa ka ay pwede kang bumitaw at maglaro ng iba. Madaming sakripisyo ang katumbas ng pag-aasawa, hindi puro saya, mas madaming lungkot na kaakibat, mas madaming pagsubok"

She snorted. "Sacrifices..." She chuckled, humorless. "That's why you sacrifice your marriage for the sake of love? And what?  Naiwan tayong dalawa while my father built his new family? And then, I was the one who shouldered the consequences of what he did? I got bullied. Pinagtawanan ako—"

"And that made you strong. You've become stronger than I am. Stronger that I got scared because you don't seem to need me anymore. I've longed for your weakness anak, yung mga panahon na yumayakap ka at nanghihingi ng tulong"

Tama naman. Noong bata siya, palagi siyang nagsusumbong sa mama niya kapag may nambully sa kanya. Kasi pakiramdam niya itong mama niya ang pinaka-malakas na tao sa mundo.

She didn't see her cry when her father left them. Nor sad. She was always smiling. Always laughing. Always happy. She was cheerful all the time.

That is what she knows. Habang tumatanda siya at nagkaka-isip, doon niya nalaman na sa kabila ng gano'n na pinapakita ng ina niya, she's sad and crying in the middle of the night when she's sleeping.

She just doesn't want her to hear her cry or to see her sad. Imagine her mother cry in the middle of the night and burying her face in her pillow just to not create a sound, smiling just to hide the sadness, laughing just to hide emptiness, killed her.

She promised herself to be strong for her mother. To act tough for her mother to have peace. Na kapag makita nitong ayos siyang lumalaki, magiging masaya ito at ang sarili naman nito ang unahin at huwag siya.

And she did it. She knows she did it when she opened her heart again and chose to marry her husband now.

"I will marry for love ma, don't worry"

It was Saturday evening. All her friends are here in her mother's house, kahit si miss lollipop—the Obgyne— is here.

Bumiyahe pa talaga ang mga ito sa loob ng buong gabi para lang mapuntahan silang mag-ina.

Ang ginawa nila ay nga set-up ng inumin sa center table. All kind of chips, nuts, and of course, lollipop. Her cornick soaked with vinegar too. Hindi niya alam bakit hindi siya nagsasawa sa pagkain na 'to.