Destined

Chapter 20 * Giovanna

"Hey big bro," I say, sitting down in front of Noah's camp, I remove the dead flowers from the vase and replace them with fresh flowers.

I sit down, "I miss you, even though we couldn't spend our birthday together often since we enlisted, but just knowing you were still on the same planet as me was enough" I sigh " I've met someone" my thoughts drift back to Kai, and then, his mother.

"His mom has a problem with me being a black woman, you know I never had a problem with that but I do understand how that can derail his career".

I talk for a bit longer with him until I go back to my hotel room. I pick up the room service menu and decide to order a few things, after all, it's my birthday.

I check my phone and see several missed calls and texts from John, Kai, Rachel even Zain and Nate. I'm not ready to talk to anyone but I check the texts.

John: Happy bday! Don't worry about anything here we've got it handled. X

Kai: Baby please come back, don't let my mom or anyone else come between us. I love you

Kai: Happy bday beautiful, I love you please come back

Rachel: HAPPY BDAY BITCH!!!!!

Rachel: Where are you? Bruh he is not his family the same way you're not like yours, give yourself a chance to love

Rachel: Listen Giovanna Marie you better pick up your damn phone or next time I see ya you gonna catch some hands

Zain: Happy bday to my fav sis in law. come back my brother cannot survive without u x

Nate: Happy birthday Giovanna! Give him a chance x

I feel tired, tired of the turmoil of unresolved emotions inside of me, tired of people constantly putting me down, tired of myself for not being able to move on, just tired of everything.

I decided to call my mom, even though we never saw eye to eye on most things she is still my mom, she can be extremely high maintenance, but I still love her, and if someone can give me a different perspective on everything it's her.

Mom picks up on the second ring, "Happy birthday baby", I sniff "What's wrong baby talk to momma".

"I don't know what to do Mom," I say with a defeated tone, "what happened?", I explain to her how I'm feeling, what happened with Kai's mom, and everything else.

"I know if Nana and Papa weren't dead, they would kill me for being this upset over some comments from a racist lady but I don't know what to do" My grandparents were big activists, both civil rights lawyers.

"Your grandmother once told me that we, black women, carry a burden on our back that no one sees, we have to wear a mask outside, every day, to make other people feel comfortable, so we should find a partner that will allow us to take that mask off when in private ", I hum "baby if you worried that I and your father will not accept Kai, you can relax, I loved him".

"It's not you guys, it's his mom, every interaction we had wasn't good, she called me and offered me money to go away, and the last time she came to the penthouse with his ex and she threw some pretty racist comments at me and told me if Kai lost the race would be because he had me by his side, so I packed my bags and left" mom gasps "she did what?", I don't say anything "Giovanna Marie Hathaway, I know I can be a lot for you to deal with at times but know this baby, you are perfect the way you are, I know it's hard for you and it was hard for your brother" tears run down my eyes "this world can be cruel and I feel partially guilty for what you're feeling, your dad chooses to not talk and ignore the hard topics but I should have pushed for you and your brother to be properly exposed to our culture and our difficulties".

"Momma it's not your fault", I say. "Yes it is, I tried to shelter you and your brother in the hopes the world would change, I even got upset with your grandparents when they tried to show you the reality of what is to be a person of color in this country", I can hear her cry, "momma don't cry, I didn't mean to make you upset",

I hear some muffled sounds, "You don't have to apologize, we are your parents, we were supposed to do one job and we failed".

"I didn't want to tell you this today, being your birthday and the first one without your brother but you should know" she pauses and my anxiety levels rise "me and your father are getting a divorce".

"WHAT?" I scream, "It's been a long time coming, after seeing you stand up to your father once again, I started thinking back to when was the last time I was truly happy in this relationship and it has been more than 3 decades", she sighs "I've realized I can't keep trying to excuse him, I'm at fault as well but if the both of us are miserable is better we go our separate ways".

"I'm happy as long as you are momma," I tell her, " I feel liberated," she tells me.

We talk a little bit longer, I tell her I'm in DC and we agree to have breakfast tomorrow morning.