Gladiolus ~ The Maze Runner

1~4: Whoever Put Us Here Better Provide Free Therapy Once We're Out

 Although I thought I had pretty much ruined our friendship, Newt was quick to forgive me for rescuing him. 

Two nights after I found him in the Maze, dangling from the vines, he woke up on that sick bed in the Med-jack hut to me asleep in a chair next to him. He squeezed my hand lightly to wake me, and I practically strangled him in a hug when I realized he was conscious.

I finally pulled away slowly and sat back in my chair to give him a bit of space, trying to quickly wipe away both happy and pained tears that were welling in my eyes. He sat up slowly, fiddling with his hands, looking at the ceiling. 

"How... how do you feel?" I asked hesitantly. I immediately did a mental face-palm because why am I so bad at handling awkward situations? 

He didn't respond. Well, I'm in deep shit.

"Newt..."

"Don't." Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck he's going to hate me forever.

I shut up, casting my eyes downward. We sat in painfully awkward silence when he finally cleared his throat. 

"Why... did you do that?" he asked. I could feel his deep brown eyes drilling into my head, but I couldn't look at him.

"I..."

"What made you think I was worth saving?" His voice was thick with emotion.

"Because you're my friend, Newt," I responded immediately. How do I do this without crying? I inhaled such a deep breath that I think I sucked all the oxygen out of the room.

"But why?"

Because I don't what I would do if I lost you. I forced myself to meet his eyes. He stared back at me, misty-eyed yet challenging.

"Hanna."

"Sorry."

"It's okay," his gaze softened. "I just need to know."

"I care about you. You're one of my best friends and I don't know where I would be without you. Seeing you in the morning makes my day because no matter how I feel, you're bound to make me smile and feel loved. You are a wonderful human and I feel so blessed to have you here with me." 

I'm crying now but I don't care because he is too. I continue.

"I know that you don't realize how important you are to me, Alby, Minho, Gally. All the boys. You're a part of our family and if you left, there would be a void that no new Greenie could replace because you are one of a kind. Newt, you are worth more than every treasure on this Earth, and I don't care if this is selfish of me, but I cannot lose you. None of us can. We all love you. And if..." I hiccup, "If you hate me, I understand. I will still always be here for you whenever or wherever you need me. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me most."

We're both crying. Staring at each other and bawling our eyes out. Noses running, tears falling, uneven gasps, shaking hands. Then something in the both of us clicks and we're moving towards each other, hugging and holding on for dear life, like at any moment Death could come and snatch one of us away.

Finally, he starts to pull away. I oblige but before we can fully separate, he grabs my face in his hands and says, "I could never hate you."

After Newt's attempt, every Glader made an effort to check up on each other. It was a frequent process, and it made us all closer as a result. Newt eventually healed mentally and soon began thanking me for being there. 

I still felt like it was my fault because if I had just checked up on him more, he never would have been in that position, and he certainly wouldn't be damned with a limp for the rest of his life.