TERI MERI YAARI

~18~ the talk

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NANDINI'S POV:

There were still 30 more minutes left for our classes to begin and till then, we were here, in the most secluded part of our school, so that we could have the so called 'talk'. I felt mentally exhausted at this point. The only reason why I was here, was because he wanted to talk, and once he was determined to do/have something, he wouldn't let go of that until he achieves it. And I wasn't in the mood of arguing or showing any restrictions. Because all I wanted at this point was to just listen to whatever he has to say and get it done with. I didn't even want to give him any response. Just nod to whatever he says, hum at a few points and get it done with. This was all I had in my mind. 

30 mins more nandu, after that you could concentrate on the class and completely ignore the part that hurts you. 

Well, if not concentrate, atleast I could pretend to do so. 

We both had our needs at this point and we had to just get it done with. He wanted to talk to me and I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible and get some time for myself to digest everything that has been taking place in my life. So the best option for now was to adjust and get both the things done because resistance isn't always the solution. Listening to things sometimes solves issues better than avoiding to address them. 

These have been my thoughts ever since I was a kid. I wouldn't resist. I would just get it done with at any cost, but paying interest to it or not was in my hands tho.

I stood there, with my hands crossed against my chest and my leg shaking continuously due to so many emotions. He just stood there while biting his lips nervously and fiddling his fingers. The weight of his body was shifting on either of his feet alternatively as he tried to stay calm. Well, he didn't have to be nervous now. Because the only reason for him to be nervous was due to the fear of the reaction I would give him. 

But that was the point, there would be no reaction from my side. Absolutely no reaction. I would just smile at him, congratulate him and wish him luck for his future with the love of his life and move on to concentrate on my life. 

Because even I had a love of my life. The only difference is that, his was another human but mine was myself. Atleast from now on. The only person I would love the most was myself. 

There is a very thin line between self love and being selfish. But what I was trying to inculcate was pure self love. Because I know, no matter what happens, I would still be the first person to run to him when he needs help. 

The only thing matters is, will I still be the first person he would call for help? 

I was brought out of my dilemma when he made the sound of a fake cough to gather my attention towards him. 

KABIR: So, care to tell me how you got this plaster on your foot?

NANDINI: Fashion hai naya. *sarcastic smile*

(It's a new fashion.)

KABIR: Wow! such a great style.

NANDINI: I know right?! you should wear it too! on your head! I would actually love to help you with it by breaking your skull open. 

KABIR: Sheesh tigress why so aggressive? 

NANDINI: Fast kabir. We don't have time. 

KABIR: First tell me how did you get yourself injured?

NANDINI: I was practicing the choreography and tried to do the lifts, didn't work out and therefore, you can see what happened.

KABIR: Seriously nandu?! even after I told you not to do those alone?! when will you stop doing-

NANDINI: What do you expect me to do kabir?! stand there and practice those steps without lifts which were nearly nothing? You know our performance contains a good amount of lifts and couple stunts yet you tell me not to practice those alone neither do you come to the practice. What should I do huh? 

Okayy. I didn't expect myself to burst out like this. And by looking at his face, neither did he expect me to do so. 

But what he did was wrong. It was his duty to be present during the practice yet he had his own priorities to handle, and after all of this, he has the audacity to scold me. I know it is because he cares for me but still, if he cared for me so much, he should've come to the practice. 

KABIR: I-I am sorry... I know I shouldn't have left you alone- 

NANDINI: That's ok. I shouldn't have burst out on you too. Umm you don't have to apologize. 

He just bit his lips and regret was visible in his eyes. 

KABIR: What did the doctor-

NANDINI: 10 minutes kabir.

KABIR: huh?

He looked lost. He looked completely lost but he could be lost later. We didn't have time and he should speak whatever he wants as soon as possible so that both of us could carry on with whatever we had in mind. 

NANDINI: 10 mins more and the class would start. You need to get it done with. Speak fast. 

KABIR: o-ohh y-yeah. So the reason why I told I couldn't come with you today w-was t-this i-itself. I didn't know why mihika called me late at night and she looked a bit panicked. She asked me if I could accompany her today morning so that we could go to school together. I initially declined her- I swear I did! I wanted to go with you-

NANDINI: That's okay Kabir, tell what you wanted to. 

He looked hurt again. But did it matter at this point? It surely didn't. 

KABIR: y-yeah so I said, I denied initially but then she was persistent on her wish. She told she had a few things going on in her life and she wanted to talk to me about those. Trust me she looked genuinely tensed or else I wouldn't have agreed. And then, in the morning when I went near her home to pick her up-

NANDINI: wait you know her address?!

Now this was a total shocker. What else have you been hiding from me, Kabir? 

KABIR: I m-mean y-yeah.. b-but that a-also h-has a r-reason-

NANDINI: yeah that's okay I understand. You can proceed. 

KABIR: So, umm yeah I went there to pick her up but then she came out being all bubbly and happy. I felt angry so as to why had she lied to me- but before I could confront on this, s-she g-gave m-me a f-flower and c-confessed that she had f-feelings for me. I-I didn't know how to react. So I just-

NANDINI: So, you just accepted. 

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. 

He just scratched the back of his neck and nodded while avoiding to meet my eyes. 

KABIR: Trust me, I would've told you first before anyone knows. But then things turned out- 

NANDINI: that's okay Kabir. I don't mind any of it. I am genuinely happy for you. May you guys be happy with each other and you have all my blessings. 

No matter how much my heart hurts while I say this, I would still say and mean each and every word I had uttered. Because pairs are always made by god, and maybe we both weren't meant to be one. I would find mine when the right time would arrive. So, I did what was best for all of us. not both of us. Because it wasn't only the both of us at this point. I smiled slightly and patted his head before turning around and moving towards the classroom. 

I didn't turn back. Because I knew, if I would, then I wouldn't be able to hold it in. 

END POV.

KABIR'S POV:

There's this feeling in me right now. Something that can't be understood at all. My morning began great and by now, everyone must know why. I was really very happy throughout the entire journey towards the school. But I wasn't holding Mihika's hand. Neither was I planning to do so. But as soon as I reached the school gate, I held her hand and it was as sudden as a reflex. I don't know why did I do that, but one think I knew was, when I held her hand, I had someone else in my mind and when I realized that this hand wasn't the one I wanted to hold, it was too late. 

It was true. I am never really high on holding hands. Even when I was a kid, I avoided holding mom's hand even in the crowded places. But with Nandu, it was just unavoidable. And I didn't even feel weird while I used to hold her hand. On the contrary, it felt good. But when I saw that smile on Mihika's face when I held her hand, I didn't have the heart to pull my hand away. No matter if I felt comfortable enough or not, I would never make any girl sad just after being the reason behind her smile. 

No matter how happy I was or how wide my smile was, one look of Nandu's face brought me down to the ground. My heart that was flushed with happiness, shrunk to a tiny little rock when I noticed her hurt leg. I knew she was hurt, but I didn't know it would be something so serious. 

I looked calm and composed as I walked through the corridor as if everything was normal. But only I knew how fast my heart was beating and how badly I wanted to reduce the distance between me and my best friend. Both physically as well as emotionally. As soon as we reached to where they all stood, I waved Mihika a quick bye and ran towards my people. Or more specifically, my person. 

I pulled her towards me with my hand around her shoulder as usual, but her reaction to is was everything but usual. Her body felt stiff. As if she was in shock. 

From the stiffness of her body, it felt as if my touch was now completely foreign to her and that hurt like a b!tch. Because even if the entire world fails to recognize me, I wouldn't care. But the only person I crave for to be familiar with is her. And her reaction right now, was successfully scaring the shit out of me. But I still wouldn't give up on the talk. No matter what happens. 

The entire time- okay okay the 20 mins that I took to talk to her, she remained neutral all the time. It was kind off easing me at a point but making me want to puke due to nervousness at the same time as well. It started off with her roasting me which kinda put me at ease, but then as I proceeded further, she was back to that cold self she was since a past few weeks and the fact that she wasn't budging from her ice cube personality no matter what I was trying to do, was freaking the shit out of me. 

Anyhow, now that we were at this point, I told her about everything. Well technically, not everything but I did fill her in with the important details and surprisingly her response did come out to be positive. She smiled genuinely and provided us with her blessings and I was so damn grateful to her for this. 

But what was even more surprising for me was, that I didn't like her response. I had never imagined how things would turn out to be if any one of us would start to date. Maybe because there wasn't a possibility? Nandu was never interested in this stuff, and me? I was just me. The same goofy boy with whom people liked to hang out, but would never prefer to take in consideration in serious matters. 

That's the reason why Nandu had always been the most special to me. Because when others didn't want me to be a part of anything serious or genuine, she would include only me when the things were serious and genuine in her life. 

That was what we were, best friends who would make each other feel out of the world comfortable and happy. 

But things weren't the same. 

When I place myself in Nandu's shoes and imagine her dating, I don't know why I hated that thought. I would rather rip my skull off and boil my brain and then bury it for thinking of such a scenario, but I don't know, I just can't tolerate that. 

Maybe I was insecure? Maybe its a thought that if she starts dating then her attention towards me would be divided? 

But who was I kidding, I ended up doing the exact same thing I would hate for her to do. 

But still, I expected her to show atleast a bit of rage, hurt or sorrow on the news of me and Mihika dating which she never showed. She was genuinely happy for me when I was with someone else. But I didn't want her to be. 

I don't know what I want at this point. Everything is confusing. 

But the only thing I was sure about was I want us to be like before. 

want was a very small words, I was desperate now. 

When she turned around to leave for the class, I didn't dare to stop her. Because with the turmoil of emotions inside me at this point, I know I would end up doing something that wouldn't be appropriate for friends. 
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END OF THE CHAPTER~~!!

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