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HAPPIEE READING!!
________________________________________________________________________________Kabir's POV:
It's 8:30 in the evening, and I find myself standing in front of Nandu's door.
Yeah, once again.
I know everyone must be irritated by now to keep seeing me trying to get into her room and coming back after being disappointed every time, but that doesn't mean I am going to stop. I will try again and again until I get a chance to make my way inside her bedroom.
Fvck I sound like a pervert.
But that's not what I meant when I said I won't give up trying to get into her bedroom, It's just that, Her room used to be as familiar and homely as mine. I've never felt like a stranger there. We've been together since we were kids and for most of the time, we used to hang out in her room. As we grew up, it was never difficult for me to go meet her in her room. But now it feels so fvcking difficult! the front door of her house is just inches away from me and yet, I am unable to knock.
I have never felt this hesitation. And with never I mean never. Not once in my life have I felt hesitant to get into her house. They were all like a family to me. She was like a family to me.
She still is like a family to me.
Then why does going inside feeling so difficult for me?
Fvck it! I should simply proceed with what I've thought.
This time, there will be no using the ladder or no going into her room through the window. This time, I'll go meet her in her room in a fully righteous manner. I'll walk through the front door, greet everyone present in the hall, and then walk to her myself.
I don't think she would be able to send me away this time.
She won't send me away.
Or will she?
I slightly shake my head to drive away all the negative thoughts enveloping my brain and try hard to prevent myself from doing something foolish once again.
These thoughts need to be put in a box and shoved in the darkest part of my brain that I won't be able to reach. Or else, I don't think I can ever be able to talk to Nandu normally like before.
I inhale a deep breath and proceed towards the door.
"Chal beta Kabir, aaj apna hakk aazmaale. Aur paale jo tujhe paana hai."
(Come on Kabir, use your right and get what you want)
Baat toh aise kar raha hai jaise haath maangne jaaraha ho uska.
(Speaking as if you're going to ask her hand for marriage)My inner voice utters which I quickly drive away and proceed towards the door. Well, no matter how wrong it is, I can't deny the fact that the voice which I heard inside my head, made me blush like a mad man.
I must be going insane.
I let out a deep sigh and finally gather all the courage I have in me to lift my hand and knock on the door.
Once.
Twice.
No response.
Bitter taste of betrayal settled at the back of my throat as I started losing all the hope I had in me. My shoulders started to sag as I decide to give up and proceed to go away from her door.
Maybe today wasn't the day.
Maybe the time isn't god.
There'll still be tomorrow.
There-
I heard the unlocking of door behind me as hope started filling inside me, once again. I turn to face the door with a thing that can be called as urgency when I see a grinning old lady standing in front of the door.
Dadi.God it feels soo good to see her face once again. Between all this chaos, I forgot that I had other people who loved me as well. I don't have grand parents and that somewhere left a void in my life. But Dadi and Dadu did everything to fill that place for me. In fact, they're like my own grand parents to me.
And I've been a shitty person to not come visit them atleast once like I used to previously.
DADI: Waah beta aaj yaad aagayi tujhe boodhi dadi ki? Itne din se toh ek khabar nahi thi tere baare mei.
(Wow kiddo you finally realized that you have a grandmother? There hasn't been a single news about you since so many days)
Guilt over takes my expression completely, but I can't tell her the entire truth. Its just.... inappropriate.
KABIR: Arre nahi dadi, woh 12th hai na.. toh padhai pe z-zyada d-dhyaan deraha tha.
(It's not like that grandma, I am in 12th grade right now, hence I was paying a bit more attention to studies)
Her expression shows that she didn't find my answer satisfactory but nevertheless she lets me in without much further interrogation.
DADI: Aloo ke parathe khaayega?
(Will you have potato filled flat bread)
A grin finds its place on my face as she mentions my absolutely favorite food and I nod eagerly.
DADI: Then just wait here. I'll get some extra. Take it up to her room. You all can have it together.
You all? Who else would be there?
I just shrug my shoulders thinking she would be speaking about me and Nandu collectively and follow her towards the kitchen so that I could take the plate full of parathas and rush to Nandu's room as soon as possible.
Dadi was blabbering continuously about anything and everything. Though none of her talks were important or made sense, they made me smile. I had forgotten how comforting this place used to feel. It still feels the same to be here, its just that, we have changed as people.
And I don't really know whom to blame for this.
She finally hands me the plate filled with the most delicious food and the aroma instantly makes my mouth water. I would devour it then and there but I would enjoy more if my best friend would be by my side.
Therefore, I controlled myself and rushed upwards towards Nandu's room after giving a peck on Dadi's cheek. In less than 2 mins, I stand in front of her door, which is closed. Strange.
She's not a person to shut her door, she always keeps it wide open. The only time she keeps her room closed is when I am with her and when we had our movie marathon. Bile started rising in my food pipe and the worry makes me feel nauseous.
Why the hell does she have her door closed?
I do not even think about knocking as worry fills all my nerves and I just twist the door knob only to stride inside her room as if I am on a rescue mission. My chest rising up and down as I start taking deep breaths.
A pair of eyes make contact with mine and I am filled with complete shock.
These weren't the pair of eyes I was willing to make a contact with.
Siddharth looks at me as if I am some ghost and I am sure as hell, my look would be no different.
What the hell is he doing here?
I feel a mixture of emotions building inside of me as I view his figure sitting on the bed. Well if I name few of those? they would be anger, which is obvious, jealousy, which is understandable too. Uneasiness, well, can be reasonable as well, fear and helplessness, I don't know from where did these come but, most of all, I was afraid.
I was afraid that my place is being snatched.
I was afraid that my best friend is going to find a whole new comfort place and I am going to lose mine forever.
But the thing that scared me the most? My recklessness.
What if I get reckless and do something which I am not supposed to do? what if I get insecure and hurt her?
What if this guy sitting in front of me, gets to hold her and comfort her while I would be the one to hurt her?
What if-
Nandini: Kabir? what are you doing here?
All my thoughts come to a pause when I listen to the melody of her voice. I turn around to face her and knots form inside my throat as I look at her raw, unprepared face. Once, it used to be my almost daily thing to come visit her and roam around in her room and spread on her bed like its mine and not hers.
its like I used to co-own this place with her.
But now it almost feels strange. I don't know what new books her bookshelf is filled with. I don't how many new sketches she's made or how many new sketch books she's bought. I don't know how many new key chains she's bought to fill her bag. I don't know who comes and visits her these days. I don't know what's on her to do list or what's on her "to be watched" movies.
I know nothing about her.
And it pains my heart physically to see her slipping away from me so slowly and yet I can't do anything about it.
Kabir: I-I just came to visit. I-I hope that's fine with you?
I said while alternating my gaze between her and this very new person sitting in this room.
Nandini: No, its totally fine. You can sit with us. We were just preparing for the quiz.
Kabir: the one which the teacher told that it was supposed to be kept confidential?
Nandini: Yeah, the same one. But the preparation need not be confidential. You can sit with us.
Kabir: Y-Yeah sure.
The words tasted bitter on my tongue.
It was never like this. Never was I a third wheel or an out of syllabus questions. It was always the both of us having plans and any other third person intruding it. I was never the third person.
Nevertheless, I wasn't going to miss a single chance to get close to her. So I took what she gave me, which was the permission to join the both of them while they prepared for god knows what type of quiz.
Kabir: Dadi sent parathas for all of us.
Now I get it why dadi used the word "all". It was to include him as well.
Nandini: Ohh. That's great. I'll get something to drink with it. What would you guys like to have?
She raised her brows a little which made her tiny eyes look a bit bigger. This cute little gesture was enough to bring a smile on my face.
Nandini: Kabir! You can smile all you want later! tell me what you wanna drink.
Kabir: Anything that suits you.
She gave a jerky nod and turned towards the jerk who was intruding our space.
Well he was here earlier.
But do I care? No.
Nandini: What would you like to have? *smile*
Smile. She freaking smiled at him! where was that smile hiding when she asked me the same question??
Siddharth: Anything would do. *smile*
I would vomit if I get to witness one more smile here.
Nandini: Okay. I'll be back soon. Behave till then.
Both of us nodded as she left the room. The instant I realized that she was completely gone, I turned my head towards the moron.
Kabir: So? What are you doing here?
Siddharth: I think she already told you what we were doing here.
Kabir: Well, she was pretty much preparing for the quiz. But I don't know what your intentions are. So tell me, What. Are. You. Doing. Here?
He slowly lifted his head from his laptop and freaking smirked at me.
Siddharth: Well, I am doing something which are obviously not capable of, which is, preparing for the quiz because apparently, you must be dating the most popular girl in the school, but you don't have enough brains to be with the most smart girl in the school.
How dare this freaking newbie question my intelligence and my right to be with my freaking best friend?!
Kabir: Listen you arsehole. You are no one to me, or to Nandu to question my worth on being with her. If anyone's worthy enough of being with her, then its me.
Siddharth: Then why aren't you with her?
His question caught me off guard and I stood their like someone tied my tongue around my throat.
Exactly, Why am I not with her.
I opened my mouth to answer his question but closed it again because I didn't have an answer that could truly justify me.
Siddharth: *sigh* Figure your sh!t out bro. I am not here for some teen drama. I've got things to do which are much more important.
I gave him a curt nod and sat on the stool which was away from the bed. My eyes were tracking all his actions as if I was hawk. I jerked up to my feet when I found him reaching for Nandu's laptop as if it was completely normal. No except for me or Nandu gets to touch her laptop without her permission.
Kabir: what do you think you are doing huh? stay away from her things. Don't you dare touch her laptop.
Siddharth: Woah Woah Woah chill out brother. My laptop's battery is dead and I need to search a few topics. That's the only reason I touched it. And I wouldn't have touched her laptop without her permission if she was in the room. And since she's not here and my intentions are pure, I don't think your reaction is justified.
Kabir: Charge your laptop if the battery is dead.
Siddharth: I didn't get my charger.
Kabir: Then you can use her charger-
Siddharth. Sheesh chill out. I am not going to go through all that hassle only to relieve your petty arse. I just need to go through a small topic and I very well know Nandini wouldn't mind if I used her laptop for it.
Well, he's right tho.
Kabir: Her laptop is password protected. Only me and Nandu know the password. Give it to me so that I can unlock it for you-
My words are caught in my throat when I see him coolly entering the password and unlocking the laptop as if it belongs to him.
Kabir: H-How did you-
Siddharth: *smirk* Maybe you are not the only one who knows the password besides her.
Kabir: just cut the crap and tell me how did you get her password.
My eyes widen as a thought creeps into my mind.
Kabir- did you spy on her-
Nandini: I gave my password to him, Kabir.
I turn my head to face her, I am sure as hell the shock would be evident on my face at this point.
Kabir: B-But h-how? You didn't like p-people intruding y-your privacy-
Nandini: Well, we have been working on this since a long time now and there would be situations where we need to work on each others laptops. Don't make a big deal out of it. And about intruding privacy? I don't like it when people do that without my permission. But this guy here is very well on my trusted people list so the last thing he can do is breach my privacy, because he doesn't need to. I have given the access to him.
A huge pit begins to form at the base of my stomach when I listen to her words. She really is allowing someone else to get close to her. Closer than I ever was.
Kabir: S-So you mean he's as close as I am-
Nandini: Well, you see, he's here because he was invited and you're here out of no where. Who's breaching the privacy now?
Silence covers the entire room. Regret can be seen on her face as soon as she uttered those words. I know she doesn't mean it. I know she would never speak to me like this. The only thing that hurts is, I gave her a chance to speak to me like this. I am the reason behind us drifting apart.
Nandini: Kabir I-I didn't mean-
Siddharth: I guess I should leave now.
We both turn our heads towards him as we find him all packed and ready to leave.
Nandini: Are you sure? We still have work to do-
Siddharth: Nahh I am sure we can continue with this tomorrow. Also with one laptop, I don't think we can get much of work done anyway. You can use this time to spend it with your best friend.
He said slightly tilting his head towards me as if he wants us to clear things out. Well, I guess I would want that too. And by judging the environment and its awkwardness, I guess its better if it was only the two of us.
Nandini: I'll see you off.
She left with him. Which is better in a way because it will give both of us some time to cool off.
I got down from the stool once again and started to roam around in her room. The place which once felt so familiar.
It does feel familiar now as well, but its more like a shadow. An essence of what it used to be and what it isn't at the point.
I touch bookshelf, her table, her pen stand and all the other things as I make my way towards the drawers.
Her drawers always contained mints. I think I might need some of them before we get to "the talk"
Wishing she wouldn't mind, I opened her drawer, and as usual there were mints and a crushed pink paper.
Curiosity took the better of me and I held that paper.
I know its something private, but the possibility of this being a love letter she wrote for someone gave me shivers.
Slightly gulping, I opened the crushed paper, only to be shocked.
Dear Kabir.....
this surely was a letter. But it was meant for me. Something that I never received.
What it has? That I'll know only after I've read it.
________________________________________________________________________________
END OF THE CHAPTER!!
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TERI MERI YAARI
Romancebest friends since diapers she fell first but he fell harder best friends to lovers ___________________________________________________________________ HER~~ mai nahi hoti toh kya hota tera? (What would happen with you if I wasn't there?) HIM~~ tu...