TERI MERI YAARI

~9~Guilt

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NANDINI'S POV:

Have you ever had that feeling? where you know that you're getting yourself into something you totally didn't want but still can't stop? Something you know might end up hurting you yet it feels way more tempting? Something that seems to be hopeless yet you feel that this will be the best thing in your life? Something everyone might warn you about but yet you follow it because you have faith that it will work out?

Well, that's my life right now. I can't help but let my feelings get deeper and deeper day by day. It as if I am completely drowned and now there's no way I could swim back to the shore. More like I didn't want to. The place where I was now seemed pretty much comfortable. I had all sorts of stories cooked up in my mind. Everything I mean. Yet I wasn't sure if things are really how they look but this feeling was too happy and comfortable for me to come out of it and think like a sensible person.

It felt as if I was living in a movie. A movie that I had never thought I would want to be part of. And here I was, thriving happily like a female lead who's completely drowned in love for her best friend who has a crush on someone else.

Wait what? Love? Where the hell did that thought come from? My feelings are deep.

Right?

I quickly shrugged that thought off my brain and sat down on my study table with my sketchbook and all other material in front of me. Sketching is the only thing that clears my mind and gives my brain a new direction to concentrate on. I picked up my pencil and started drawing the overall skeleton of the sketch I had in my brain. What I had in my brain was very clear and I couldn't wait to witness it as it came to life. A soft smile was continuously lingering on my face as I worked on the body of the boy while detailing his clothes and the bag on his back. I then shifted on to his hair and started shading it along with adding strokes, both thick and thin to make it look realistic and welcoming. I then moved my attention towards the girl who was supposed to be beside the boy and started working on her face. Tiny eyes, full lips, button nose and a small smile. A bindi on the forehead and voila. IT LOOKED PERFECT.

I then moved towards their hand which were supposed to be interwined and my heart raced crazy while I was working on that part. I made the girl's hand slender and mediocre while the guys hand was a bit rough and thick with long fingers. Their hands looked perfect with held together.

After giving the last stroke, I leaned back in my table to look at the masterpiece I've created.
Two people, a boy and a girl looking at each other with their eyes shining and their never ending smile. Their hands interwined gave me a warm feeling as I closed my eyes to envision that one person who's been living in my conscience rent free since past few weeks. Just one thought about him and It was enough to leave me smiling while a red hue engulfed my features.

I was lost into my own world when I felt a hot breath fanning over my neck. Initially I just ignored as I considered being lost in my thoughts was more important but then suddenly

??: Booooooooooooooooo

I heard a shout in my ear and I stood up with a jerk while a scream left my mouth but then a rigid rough hand covered my mouth and I felt as if my soul had left my body. My breath started returning to its normal state when I recognized the familiar personality standing in front of me and was trying to control his laughter.

No extra points for guessing who it was. Kabir sharma of course.

I slapped his hand away from my mouth and he fell on my bed laughing but being careful not to be too loud as it was past midnight already and it wouldn't look nice for him to be in my room this late at night.

KABIR: you, you should've seen your face in the mirror hahahahahahahahahaa. You looked like a swollen potato painted red.

NANDINI: ughhh shut up! you don't have any sense in you. Couldn't you text before coming.

KABIR: well, madam, if you would check your phone, you would be surprised to find atleast 25 texts from my side which unfortunately went unread.

Shit. My phone was on silent.

I gave him an awkward laugh and sat on my bed beside him while he made himself comfortable while lying down on my bed.

NANDINI: so, why are you here?

KABIR: movie dekhni thi tere saath.

(Wanted to watch a movie with you.)

NANDINI: new one?

KABIR: naahh, old one. Legendary tho.

NANDINI: which one?

KABIR: *sheepish smile* Guess kar.

NANDINI: kuch kuch hota hai?

KABIR: bingo!

I slightly chuckled at his excited behaviour and shook my head. Kuch kuch hota hai has been our go to movie ever since we were kids. When we didn't know what to watch, this would be the one which was played. Cz, who wouldn't like Rahul and Anjali? Besides, it reminded me of us both.

Everytime we watched this movie before, Kabir would tease me saying he would get married to me in the same way but I used to smack his head or pull his ear which would leave him whining. But with the current scenario, Only thing I can do is to smile while blushing like a fool.

We both settled down on the bed while he got my laptop and opened it to play the movie. We both knew the passwords of our laptops. Not because it was a rule or something but its just that there's no necessity to hide it. We both know everything about each other afterall.

I chuckled when I saw him removing snacks from his bag and there were way too many of them. The experience from last time must have left him traumatized.

We both settled down together as we do everytime and played the movie.

END POV

TIME SKIP
KABIR POV:

My real motive wasn't really to come watch a movie with her. I wanted to tell her about my Id that I gave to Mihika as I was feeling guilty enough. We both knew everything about each other, and It would be wrong on my part to hide it from her. She's my best friend after all. She would want only good for me.

Therefore I pulled out this stunt and now we are comfortably positioned on her bed as we gawk at our all time favorite movie. The reason why this movie is my favorite is because of the friendship between the leads and it reminds me of my panda. She's always been by my side and this movie was warm enough for us to enjoy together. Everything in this movie is extremely beautiful except for the part where Anjali leaves Rahul.

No one knows it but that part is capable of bringing me to tears because I can never imagine nandu distancing herself from me. She's more like a habit. A necessity without whom I can't live. She's important to me just like oxygen is for survivng. I shrugged off the thoughts of separation and concentrated on the movie. Well, half atleast. I was stealing glances of my pretty bestfriend who was now comfortable beside me.

I had two reasons to keep looking at her.

1) I was nervous and was trying to predict her reaction about the bomb I was going to drop.

2) No explanation. She's just pretty. And she's my best friend.

I decided to ask her the same question I ask everytime and that leaves her irritated. Maybe her reaction could bring my senses back on track.

Hopefully. Probably. Maybe.

KABIR: Shaadi karegi mujhse jaise Anjali ne ki thi Rahul se?

(Will you marry me like how Anjali married Rahul?)

I expected her to again smack my head or pull my ear, but her reply left me baffled for a moment.

NANDINI: Tu mujhse Pyaar karne lagega jaise Rahul Anjali se karne laga tha?

(Will you start loving me like Rahul did to anjali?)

I went numb for a moment and kept staring at her while she kept staring at me two.
Our eyes met for a moment and locked at each other.

That very moment, I realized that something has definately changed between us. We were not the same now.

I don't know what that something was, but it was new for sure. Hopefully it was for good.

She broke the eye contact first and we both again concentrated on the movie again with an awkward silence engulfing us.

TIME SKIP

The movie had finally ended and I closed the laptop with a sigh and turned to look beside me only to find my nandu dozed of with her head slightly brushing on my shoulder. I chuckled looking at her pouty lips and kept staring at her face. I tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear that were stopping me from getting a clear view of her face. My hand slow started caressing her cheek as kept looking at her and felt as if time had stopped.

I was feeling way too guilty because I wasn't able to tell her about everything today as well but I will surely do it in the future. I left out a loud sigh and got up from her bed while arranging everything properly and making sure that her posture was alright and made my way towards the window.

Before I could move any further, my eyes landed on a sketch that was placed on her table and I couldn't help but pick it up and and adore it. As soon as I looked at it, I knew who it was. There was no need of someone else telling me who it was. It was me and her of course. I looked at the minute details she had worked on and my heart swelled up with many emotions. Both known as well as unknown.

My chest again felt a pain and my heart felt heavy with the guilt I was carrying but everything was going to be fine. I will make sure everything will be fine.

I placed the sketch back on the table and made my way towards the window again when my phone pinged with a text message.

I checked the notification and Mihika's name appeared on the screen bringing a huge smile on my face. I mean come on, your crush texts you and you won't be happy? joke haha.

But after observing that it was on my hidden id, I looked back at nandu was sound asleep while snuggling into her pillow and felt guilty once again.

I looked back at Mihika's text and smiled once again. I know something has changed, but I will make sure everything is right.

Everything will be alright.

I will have both my best friend and Mihika by my side.

I am capable of doing it. Right?

That question mark was still there, but I don't know how far was I capable of turning it into a full stop.

With long sigh leaving my mouth, I made my way towards the window for the third time now and finally got out of the room that belonged to my comfort place.
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END OF THE CHAPTER~~!!

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