Heart On The Edge

Chapter 19

KASHVI'S POV

I feel fingering touching my face. I opened my eyes and I see Adarsh sitting near my pillow. I could barely see with all the sleep on my eyes. As my eyes open, he quickly get up and steps 800 steps back!

"What are you doing?"

I ask in irritated and sleepy voice.

"Ummm...your hair were disturbing your sleep so I...I just tucked them away."

Liar. He was watching me sleep.

"Go back to sleep."

"What time is it?"

"9 am"

"I slept till 9 am!"

I almost yell. All the sleep disappers.

"Chill. You slept around 1 am. I could hear you watching reels!"

I frown and get up from the bed. We stare at each other 5 secs. We really should stare at each other. His eyes feel like scanner who can see throught my clothes.

"Good Morning."

He wished.

"Good Morning.."

I wished back, he nodded and walked away, closed the door of his room...i.e My room
I freshen up, talk to Shashank, I opened the door and Adarsh is standing right there, ready to knock.

"Whoa!"

I exclaimed.

"I was just gonna knock."

"I can see that."

2 secs of silence....because of...Idk!

"I wanted to talk to you....about yesterday."

Adarsh's voice was low. Guilt in his eyes.

"Talk."

My voice was hard. My guard was as up as great wall of China.

"Jab tumne Shashank ki baatein batayi...I got mad. I got jealous. What I did yesterday was gross, I shoul---"

"You got mad and jealous? You are the one who chose to leave."

My intrusive thoughts are to push him down the stairs next to him!
He didn't say anything. He didn't have words because I caught him off guard.

"Did you forget the part where you were fucking Deki for 5 years?"

"What I have with Deki is temporary. I didn't fool myself into thinking it will last. I know if she asks me to be her boyfriend and I refuse...again, We'll be done."

He breathes. He spoke as if he was chasinh a train.

"But what did you do? You put a ring on your finger!"

He said with a disgusted face

"So what? You told me I deserved better. I do. I found better!"

I taunt him.
We were slowly raising our voice at each other. Trying to control it but it would still feel too much knowing there were 2 more people in the house

"Yeah I know, Thats why I chose to walk out of your life!"

"U wanna know why he is better for me? Not because he rich or not a criminal. Its because he chose me. He had his world set in Canada but he left everything and came back to India for me. He chose me over and over and over again. And you never chose me! You actually chose death over me Adarsh!"

I spit the fact out like venom. Adarsh doesn't say a word but I know he's angry. He might even be hurt. But I am angrier and definitely more hurt. 
I turn my back to him. I take few steps down stairs. The stairs are tiny, anyone could just slip---

I feel my leg twisting and my body leaning forward with me having no control over my body. Pretty sure I am falling.

"Fuck!"

"Kashvi!"

I shut my eyes tight until I feel strong arm around my waist from behind. I feel like I am in air just my toes on stairs. There was gap between me and Adarsh and suddenly there wasn't any gap. My back crashed to his chest. His hand now wrapped around my waist. His mouth near my ear. I could feel his eyes on my chest as it went up and down with my heavy breathes. I could feel his breath near back of my ear.

"Careful. Wildcat"

My neck snaps at him at his wildcat remark. Too close to his lips.

"Because if you don't be careful, you'll fall again. And I'll have to catch you again. That means touching you, being near you. I am not sure I can control myself around you when you are this close"

His voice low. If this was any other circumstance, his voice would be categorized as seductive.
He withdrew his hand and stepped back.

"I have got to go.."

I ignore the tension and walk down stairs....carefully this time!
I get down to see Swami ready with 3 cups on tea.

"Adarsh ne sorry bola?"

"Oh.....no..tumne usse kuch kaha?"

"Naa..kuch nahi"

Swami lied. Adarsh joined us for tea and then both of them left for cafe. Deb uncle stayed back to discuss some things about convincing Adarsh to get back to India. God, I had almost forgot why I came here!
I drafted a article to show to Adarsh if he ever asks how is my work with his dad going.

Around 5.30, they came back home. Adarsh straight in my/his room and sat beside me on the bed.

"How was ur day?"

He asks trying small talk.

"Tiering but productive. Urs?"

"Pretty cool"

"Nice"

Awkward silence

"I wanted to say...umm...I am sorry....about yesterday."

He finally says

"U are saying because Swami told u to.."

"No! I mean yes. No I mean uhh...I feel bad about it I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't for Swami.."

"Hmm.."

I nod. This is a pretty civilised convo.

"I was jealous of...Cut that! I am jealous of Shashank for having you in his life. And before you come at me, I know it was ny choice to walk out and all. I was mad at you for getting engaged and all. What I did, was a pretty dick move. It was gross. So..I am sorry."

He actually said all that! I didn't think he was capable of admitting his mistakes

"Also...I know I was a...Monstar 5 years ago. I am not now. I am a good person. I don't regret what I did...for my revenge but I do regret treating you like....like shit or like you didn't matter. I would never do that again....I would not raise voice at you or.....or....hurt you.."

He couldn't find words. But I knew it was genuine.

"I am a changed man. I am sorry for what I put you throught before."

He looked at me for the last part jus to find me looking at him all this time.

"Thank you for the honesty. We are good."

He smiled slightly. Oh boy! My heart melts at his smile

"Friends?"

He asks extending his hand to me.

"Friends."

I reply accepting his hand. I smile too...

Pretty...productive day I see!
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