Heart On The Edge

Chapter 25

KASHVI'S POV

When I opened my eyes, I laying beside him. Thats when I realized I had fallen asleep there. There not filmy scene of his arm being around me and me cuddling him. We were pretty much at the same distance as last night before sleep. No body parts touching...
I tried getting up, my moments woke him up. Fuzy hair, small eyes...heheheh funny.

"Good Morning"

I wished

"Good Morning. How'd you sleep?"

He said in raw, sleepy voice...
Hot.

"Pretty good actually, how did you sleep? How are you feeling?"

"Perfect"

He said with a calm smile. It melted my heart. I got freshen up and I guess Adarsh did too. It clicked to me that the reason I came here is getting ignored between the fights, the making up, the falling sick!

Deb uncle went to work, Swami went to cafe, Adarsh and I are home...alone.
We were sitting in the living room on the same couch. I was working on my laptop abt the article.

"Kaisa jaa raha hai phir article?"

"Ummm..good"

"Can I read?"

"When I post it..."

"Come on! Let me. What if I find something offensive?"

"Then come to India with you father when he comes to give interviews and then file a case against like many did after reading my book"

"My father is coming to India?"

"Yeah, u didn't know?"

Ofc he didn't. I made it up.

"No...just like I didn't know he wanted to.-----whatever. I won't come to India, let me read it before you.....go"

"Why won't you come to India?"

"Helllooooooooo, I live here!"

"Hellooooooo, that's your home"

"Okayyy Kashvi, I think you should get back to working"

He said getting up from the sofa

"Come one Adarsh, we are just having a conversation..."

"I don't want to have this conversation"

"Why? Tumne toh kaha tum miss nahi karte kuch bhi"

"Ofc miss karta hu Kashvi, tumhe bhi pata hai yeh baat. I have lived there most of my life and nothing I can have that will make up for that void in my heart"

"Toh wapas aajao na Adarsh"

I said keeping the laptop aside and getting up from the sofa.

"Kuch bhi bolti ho"

"Kya problem hai?"

"Koi wajah nahi hai wapas aane ki."

"Jaise rukne ki koi wajah nahi thi..."

I remembered the moment when he told me he wanted to leave--Both India and the living world because he had no reason to stay.....Ironic to a woman who did everything to keep him alive and....the one who loved him.
My eyes didn't leave his till I saw last shread of emotion in them. Till I saw guilt and hurt in them.

"Purani baate kyun nikal rahi ho?"

I ignored the question and stepped closer to him

"Paanch saal Adarsh, 5 fucking years...tumhe ek baar bhi nahi laga ki tum wapas aajao. Even when you knew I was not doing great with the book and all. A part of us knows that you got out of that jail at the cost of my career"

"Don't put your career on me Kashvi. You know I didn't ask for your help."

"Yeah I know. I was a damn fool. "

"Main yaha aaya kyunki mujhe mere baap se milna tha. Par waha se nikala kyunki tumhe main nahi chahiye tha!"

We were no longer talking calmly. Our voices raised and forehead frowned

"Wajah tum jaante---"

"Haa main jaanta hu. I know ki main chutiya tha. I wasn't a good person or anything good Kashvi but I am now! I am now Kashvi!"

"Now ka main kya karu Adarsh? This now had to be then! But now that you are a good person, then why can't you just come back?"

"Because I am a good person because you wanted me to be this person. Everytime, everytime I thought of coming back, I had only one reason...You."

I froze there.
His mouth was drooling from all the speaking. His eyes sparkled in the sunlight...He had tears in his eyes.

"Because you said you will be there. Tumhe kaha tha ki paanch saal bhi main aao toh tum rahogi---"

"Abhi bhi hu Adarsh! Don't put that on me"

"Par tum jaa rahi hu ab! 2-3 din aur and you'll be gone!"

"Yes because I live there! I am going to go back home, a place that is your home too. Our home..."

Our just conversation was getting heated up.

"Home is where the heart is"

He listens to Taylor Swift. The rare green flag in him.

"And where is you heart?"

I ask him pointing at his heart.

"Bloody hell, Its yo---"

He stopped as his finger almost pointed towards me. Almost. He almost said 'you'. Almost
He closed his mouth immediately. Looked down at the floor. Waited in silence for 20 secs.

"Forget it"

"Yeah like you did 5 years ago"

I taunted him and he looked up

"Kash--"

"You know I have qualifications in criminal psychology too..."

"I didn't know that"

He said hesitantly trying to find its relevance

"I can understand you. I do understand you"

"Because I am a criminal...that's..that's right"

"Yeah...it was my understanding towards you that I lost thing that mattered me most in my life. My career. I don't blame you for it...I blame myself."

He nodded. He Didn't know how to react.

"Adarsh, I waited for you for years but--"

"Did you? Because what I hear from you, you have been with Shashank for 5 years. I left 5 years ago. You are literally engaged to him. What were you planning if I came back? Leaving him?"

I had no answer to that question. Because he was right. But I had all the right to move on with someone else. He never told me how he felt abt me. But I saw it in his eyes...what he felt for me.

"You left because you were scared. You didn't come back because you were scared, Adarsh"

"Scared? Scared of what?"

He scoffed

"You are scared of the way I make you feel because you don't want to feel anything"

His lips closed into a thin line. Eyes slightly widened but he was quick to hide it. He licked his lips with a hint of nervousness. He didn't answer. He just stared at me like I had peeked into his heart and saw something I shouldn't have. Something I wasn't supposed to know.

.

How's the chapter?
Sorry for late update!