Starlet • Lukadrien [Miraculous]

Chapter 15 | secrets

The window was open tonight, to let the breeze in. It was still warm, the summer wasn't fully over yet. So with the window open the moonlight lit the room, just enough to see everything inside it without being so bright no one could sleep. Adrien was still awake, his head on Luka's shoulder. He didn't want Luka to leave today, he was still processing things about his fathers death. Of course, Luka was a welcome guest and even insisted on helping Nathalie and Adrien make dinner even though he was the visitor here.

And now, he asleep in Adrien's bed. His long hair was coming loose from its hair tie, and the blankets had been half kicked off by the both of them to combat the warmth of the night. Adrien hadn't been sleeping well recently, even when he had Luka with him. He gazed over at his now boyfriend, illuminated by the moonlight, peaceful as ever. He gently brushed the blue streak of hair from his face, unable to help himself from simply admiring how gorgeous he was even in his sleep.

Adrien found himself thinking, how did I get so lucky? Luka was practically his dream man. So thoughtful and gentle with him when he needed it most, kind to everyone but protective when he needed to be. Patient, caring, with an eye for art and ears for music. Tall, toned and tanned, darker fashion sense and gods- that long hair. If Adrien so much as looked his way for too long his heart would beat out of his chest. And here he was, shirtless and asleep in his bed.

Of all the horrible shit that had happened to Adrien in his life, gaining Luka by his side felt like a gift from the gods. A reward for holding out this long, staying alive. He lost the people he loved the most, but gained someone he loved even more in the end. And this person? This person loved him back.

But for all the love Adrien held for Luka, there was also a swirling pit of guilt. And it was because of that damn ring that was sitting next to his Miraculous.

There was a point in time, when he was at rock bottom, he had to give the ring back to Nathalie for safe keeping. Because he was so deep in a pit of depression he began getting thoughts of... snapping himself. And even if he was past that now, the knowledge that he could in theory just cease to exist like that, by his one hand... it scared him. Everything about that ring scared him, but he continued to wear it because he knew if he didn't protect it with his life, and it fell into the wrong hands, that was the end for him. He trusted no one with it aside from Nathalie and Plagg... he didn't even always trust himself with it.

He wondered, could be trust Luka with it? He felt like he could, but the fear of being controlled by that stupid ring again loomed in the back of his mind. He could still feel the metaphorical puppet strings tied to him, even when he was the one holding them. So when he gave the ring to someone else, it was like handing them the puppet strings. The wrong person could pull him around to their every whim.

Luka wouldn't do that would he? Surely not. This is Luka we're talking about.

But the fear, it stayed in the back of his mind.

Adrien knew he'd need to tell Luka about his ring and creation as a person eventually. Sooner rather than later. He knew Luka, as understanding as he was, was deeply effected by secrets and lies. He'd been akumatized over them, his past relationships damaged by them. The truth was very important to Luka, Adrien knew that. Adrien also knew that if he told Luka sooner into the relationship, he'd not be hurt by it. Because of the trust that was there, because Luka was the kind to understand why Adrien would keep it a secret before they were officially dating, and early into said relationship. Things were still fresh you know? That was understandable.

But the longer he kept this from him, not only would it continue to eat away at Adrien internally, but the more it'd hurt Luka when he eventually did find out. That was the last thing Adrien wanted, to hurt the person he'd come to love the most.

He needed to tell him, sometime soon. No matter how much it made him anxious, even if he said it through tears, he needed to say it. The fear in the back of his mind this would somehow ruin them as a couple, it lingered. But Adrien just knew... he had to tell Luka he was senti.

Adrien was suddenly snapped from his daze by the sound of a phone vibrating against the surface of the bedside table. Luka sleeping through it, but Adrien still awake to hear it. He leaned over, finding it was Luka's phone. The contact reading 'womb mate' so clearly, his sister.

He watched it ring for a second, unsure if he could let it ring out or wake up Luka. What would Juleka be calling about this late? Even over in Paris it was pretty late.

Adrien picked up the phone, looked over at Luka still asleep. He didn't want to wake him...

Fuck it. He hit answer.

"Hello?" He began.

"Hel- no way... Adrien?! Is that you?" Juleka replied.

"Yeah... long time, I know. Luka's asleep sorry"

"Dude fuck my brother for a moment here- I was not expecting you! I mean Luka told me you'd caught up but I wasn't expecting you to be having sleepovers haha!"

Juleka seemed... happier? More bright. Like she wasn't nearly as anxious as she was in high school. Adrien did recall Luka saying she'd been doing well in therapy for her anxiety issues, it was really showing through her voice alone.

"There's A LOT to fill you in on... but I'll let Luka do that because it's more his place to than mine. But I can pass on a message if it's urgent" Adrien said.

"Ehh... not SUPER urgent, just tell him to call me back tomorrow. And you join the call to sir, we have a lot to talk about" Juleka replied.

"Sure, I'll join. Nice to hear your voice again, you sound chirpier"

"It's nice to hear from you too, you sound better than last I saw you too"

A lot had changed clearly, but in a way some things were still the dame. She was the same twin she was all those years ago, bugging her brother at ungodly hours of the night and all. And you know what? If Adrien was going to be dating his man long term- he better be reconnecting with his family too. They may be future in laws, after all.