"You sure you can keep up, Klein?" His voice barely reached me over the sound of the crew and the cars, but I could hear the smirk laced in his tone as he hopped into his seat.
I simply raised my middle finger in response and slammed my visor down.
...
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[cassie klein]
I still haven't fully forgiven Lando for what he said.
It's going to take a lot of apologies, a lot of coffee, and a lot of time for me to even come close to forgiving him.
I'm relieved as I watch Lando's car peel away from the gutter of my house and speed off down the road. I slide off my thongs outside the front door and walk inside.
It's so nice to be back home.
I find mum curled up on the couch, Coles magazine in one hand and her tea in the other. I'm almost the spitting image of my mother - inheriting the same long curls and hazel eyes, the same tanned skin and height. I got my attitude from my father.
I plant a kiss on her head as I walk past and to the kitchen.
"Oh, you're home!" Mum says, dropping the magazine on the couch and kicking her feet out to stand.
"Yup," I say, opening the fridge door and inspecting any possible snacks I can steal. Perfect, I think, reaching for my favourite: red grapes. I snap off a bunch and sit at the island.
"How was it?" Mum asks, leaning her hip against the counter next to me with a concerned expression as she takes a sip of her tea.
"It was okay," I start, focusing on the crunchiness of the grapes rather than the pit in my stomach when I think about Lando.
"Okay?" She repeats, stretching out the word and waiting for my response. She sips her tea again. I can feel her strong focus in my peripheral vision as I continue to eat my grapes. I sigh, feeling like a little girl again talking to her mum about boy problems. It's sort of comforting, if I'm honest.
"It's like he wants to forget it ever happened. What he said was really shitty and now he just picks me up and says 'I'm sorry' and continues on with his day. But I can't do that, what he said really hurt me. I thought-," I stop, taking a breath and collecting myself, "I thought we were actually getting along. I thought we could be friends. But ever since..."
I trail off, realising I haven't told her what really happened.
"Since what?" She pushes softly.
"We kinda- I mean, it sort of just happened... It was a blur of the moment kind of thing- It didn't mean anything but-,"
"Cassie!" Mum interrupts, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Just spit it out."
I sigh. God, am I really about to tell my mother this?
"We... we had sex." I whisper, shame coating my cheeks a deep colour of red as I sink into the chair and attempt to hide my face.
"Oh, sweetheart, that's not something to be ashamed about!" Mum places a hand over her heart, talking in an exasperated tone, "Here I was thinking something horrible had happened!"
"But Mum it is horrible!" I protest, sitting up in my chair again and turning my body towards her, "Now everything's different."
She pauses to think for a moment. Takes another sip of her tea.
"I have an idea."
*****
I should know by now that when Mum says she has an idea, it's usually not a very good one.
Don't get me wrong, she can have her days, but when it comes to my relationships... I should know better.
I told her I'd think about it on my run, which has led me to a 6km run alongside the beach, on the road, as I procrastinate her suggestion.
Surely it won't be that bad... I think, weighing up the pros and cons of spending more time with Lando as I put one foot in front of the other.
I round the corner to my street.
The distance back to my house has never felt so short. I pause before I reach the front door, instead opting to walk around the deck and sit out the back so I can watch the waves on the beach.
It's that time of day where the sun is slowly nudging the horizon, changing the colours of the sky orange and pink as day turns to dusk. I plop into the hammock, gazing out at the water and the reflection of the colours on the waves. The salty air blows across my face, showering me in the scent of home.
As much as I love Formula 1 and the adrenaline of racing, I will always come back to the ocean. It's where I was raised and where I grew up. The ocean will always be ingrained in who I am.
As I rock slowly in the hammock, I allow my mind to wander to the events of the past few days.
To the joy, to the pleasure, to the frustration and to the red hot anger. But then to the sadness, the uncertainty, and finally to toeing the line of forgiveness.
Remember when I said it would take a lot of coffee?
