A Kiss To Send Us Off

Chapter 31

Amelia let out an airy giggle, the same little laugh he had fallen in love with, and grabbing him by his cut pulled him into the house. "Shit," she threw her arms around his neck, "I will always be with you, JC."

"That's my girl," he said dreamily. Dropping the flowers and tickets, he gripped her waist and pulled her impossibly close before kissing her forcefully. "I missed you, sweetheart."

"I missed you too." She sighed, resting her face on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

He smoothed her still damp hair, his hand running from her head down her back, and began to sway with her in the silence. "I'm sorry too, Meels. I should have been here, I never should have left."

"We should talk," she sighed. "About all this shit, don't you think?"

Sucking in his bottom lip, knowing it would be a difficult discussion; Juice nodded and took her hand as he moved toward the couch. "Yeah we should. Can I start?" He pulled his pant legs up slightly as he sat and shifted around to get comfortable.

Amelia nodded, curling her legs up underneath her as she sat in the armchair by the window. "You know what, how about I start?"

"Ladies first," he joked somberly.

"JC, I love you but the club is an issue. It's not even about what you do with them anymore, it's about how you hold them up on some fucking pedestal. They're great; I like most of them, but I need to at least be equal to them if not more important. I see how the others are, they balance it, they never make their significant others suffer; I want us to be like that. I don't know if that's selfish but I don't care, I'm your wife I need to be number one."

"You are," he said softly. "I just have a hard time saying no. The MC is the only family I got, Meels. I'll change that, I gotta readjust my thinking. You are number one and I'm going to start showing you. That shit with Salazar though,"

"This isn't about Salazar," she interrupted. "Was I pissed, fuck yeah, but that wasn't on you, it was my uncle and even kind of me, I guess. I have to know, where were you when I text you about Max?"

That was the second to last question he wanted to answer but Juice has very little choice in it really. "I was just hanging with the guys, when you first text me, I was actually boxing with Tig." With a grin he pointed to the tiny cut under his eye, "You should have seen him though."

"Then? Why didn't you get back to me after?" Amelia was somewhat proud, but not truly, and she needed to stay focused. If they didn't resolve it all that night it would be swept away until it happened again and the blowup would be that much worse.

"I shoulda checked right away. It was stupid but as soon as I did, I got the guys and came right up here. Not long after the fight we had some shit go down, someone got hurt, shit was crazy and I never checked my phone."

While she would rather Juice missed the text than actually know she needed him and ignored the message, it still hurt. Amelia actually felt foolish as she remembered sitting there, waiting for him to respond or show up, when really he was drunk, fighting and then of course, working through club business.

"Are they okay now?"

Juice nodded. "Wasn't a club member, business partner, but you know how it is."

"Yeah, I do," she forced a smile.

"But it won't be like that anymore." He promised earnestly. "I couldn't say no to them, I'm always scared to lose them, they're my family, but I should have been scared of losing you."

It was exactly what she wanted to hear but instead of relief and joy, she felt monumentally guilty. "I'm not innocent." She admitted. "I should have told you how I was feeling before it got to that point and I sure as hell shouldn't have left. The distance was the worst thing, it did damage, I think. I mean," she shook her head in confusion. "I needed time but I took too much because I was scared and pissed and really immature. I hate SAMCRO for a lot of reasons but I love em' too and they're a part of you so," she shrugged. "I don't really know what I'm trying to say, JC, I just feel really guilty."

"What about Raylan?" Her rambling was unusual and it made Juice wonder what she had to feel guilty over. Being apologetic was really more what it sounded like she meant but she wasn't usually one to mix words like that.

She groaned, feeling every bit the slut her mother insinuated, and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, he's a part of this mess too. I latched on, he was my hero, you know? I have issues with men, I know I do, but I love you. I'm all fucked up," her voice wavered as she spoke. "I mean, I went to him and I felt like I needed him because he saved me but it wasn't what I wanted."

"What happened, Meels?" Although he hadn't been entirely innocent, Juice was unimaginably hurt and, if he was being blunt, pissed off. "Did you sleep with him?" He swore she had to have, her guilt and behavior made him sure of it.

"No," her head shot up. "I swear I didn't, I wouldn't." Her eyes went big, bloodshot and filled with tears. "We fooled around, kissed a few times, but that's it. I'm sorry, JC." Beginning to break down, Amelia burned her face in her hands. "I'm my fucking mom." She whined. "I need goddamn therapy, I know I do, I'm so fucked up."

"Jesus, Meels," Juice let her cry while he worked through his own anger. "I got my dick sucked." It sounded harsh, he hated that it did, but he was angry whether he had a reason to be or not. "So I wasn't exactly a saint either."

"You did?" Shock. Utterly and completely blown away by his admission, Amelia stopped crying instantly. "Oh, okay." It seemed so unlike him and that was when the reality of how she treated him, even though she was hurting herself, came down and slapped her hard across the face.

"But there was no feeling behind it." He added. "I didn't latch on to her or some shit," Juice knew he was making it worse but it just came out. "She didn't need me, I paid her and that was it."

"Okay." Amelia dried her tears and listened to his words. "I didn't exactly need the details."

"Sorry," Juice shrugged. "You do need therapy," he said sadly. "But I think everyone does at some point. Shit with Max and the way you were raised fucked you up, more than I think even you realized, but that's fine. You talk to someone and figure it out, I'll be here, I got your back like always. Don't do this shit again though, Amelia. I mean it."

"Guess I deserve that." She mumbled.

"I know it was harsh and even if nothing physical happened with him it would still be true." He knew it must hurt it hear but it all had to be said. "All of it."

"You're right," she nodded. "So we're on the same page then?"

"Yeah, Mrs. Ortiz, we are."

She smiled at that and nodded enthusiastically. "I love you."

"I love you too." There was that smile. She felt her heart skip a beat, or two, as his cheesy grin spread across his face. After that moment, hearing harsh truth from each other, Juice and Amelia felt more in love than ever. They fought, and although it wasn't all done, there was work to do, they were together again and moving forward as a couple.

Wriggling her eyebrows Amelia attempted to lighten the mood and reconnect with her husband. "How about we fuck on Max's desk?" She jumped to her feet and reached out to him with a seductive stare.

Juice closed his eyes and growled, instantly turned on by the idea, and took her hand in his. "I like the sound of that." Slapping her ass lightly as she bopped up the steps in front on him, Juice smiled and left the anger behind them. "I'm reclaiming my girl," he snarled as he spun her around just when they reached the top of the steps. They both felt that need, to have each other again and forget the indiscretions between them, to reaffirm themselves and express their love. "You're my girl, right?" Pressing her against the wall, Juice kissed his wife deeply.

"Forever," she mumbled into his mouth. "So where are you taking me?" Amelia asked as she yanked him down the hall to Max's office.

"After this, after I make love to you, we're going to the Maldives."

Amelia shrieked as he laid her out on the desk. "Really?"

"Yep," he pulled her shirt up and over her head before starting on his own clothes. "Fourteen days, baby, me and you on a fucking beach with no one else, it's going to be perfect."

"Then therapy," she moaned as he kissed down her neck, "But first beach sex and drinks."

"Sounds incredible to me," he dropped his pants, "Now, no more talking."