The Red Spiral𖦹

𖦹5- diseased𖦹

Cas woken up in the morning. He knew that this was the day. It was going to happen and there was nothing that he could do to stop it.

He was shaking now. It would not stop. He knew that it was going to continue all day.

He had been at Glenwood Springs for a year now. He was extremely thin. By now, he had gotten properly diagnosed with a few different things. Anorexia, pica, bulimia, schizophrenia, antisocial personality disorder, amongst a few other things.

He was pretty much human now. Meg and a few other doctors were really worried that he was going to die. He just refused to eat. He claimed that he needed to be "pure." Nobody really understood, so now they had him hooked up on an IV a lot.

In Meg's newest picture's, Cas is seen sitting on the bed with a creepy smile. (It was noted that he had a disturbing and unsettling personality). In the 2nd one, it shows him with his arms braced on the sink for support. And in the last one, it shows him with his fingers bloody because he kept on biting them. This had to go in his record as self-harm.

Sam and Dean seldom came around to see him, of course they cared about him and thought of him every day, they were just busy hunting.

This is the night that it happened. The voices were loud. His stomach was empty. He was broken. He ripped out his IV Harshly, and there was some blood. There was a glass of water on the nightstand. He drank the water, and then proceeded to walk over to the left corner of the room. He dropped the glass on the floor. It shattered. He picked up the biggest piece of glass and walked to the right corner of the room. He sat down on the floor and looked at the piece of glass. "In this cage again...this ward...they ask me how I have been...Meg, and Sam...And Dean. I will smile big and try to pretend that I am not being tortured by them. Why can they just not decide? Do they want me dead or alive? Do you not think that I have fucking tried to mend the wounds that I have inside?" He chuckled a bit quietly to himself. "They cannot fix me. Nobody can. I have always been diseased. I feel it underneath my skin, I was always scared to bleed. But not now. Not anymore. They cannot fix me. I am sick terminally. I love being empty and cold." And with that, he taken that glass and cut deep into his left arm. Blood rushed out. And, just as the dream predicted, he dug his fingers into his wound and painted a perfect red spiral. Afterwards, he found himself growing lightheaded. He lost a lot of blood and he obviously had not ate anything so he passed out right away.

Meg found him the next morning. Although she may not have been a huge fan of the angel, what she seen mortified her. She thought that he was dead at 1st, but after checking his pulse, she confirmed that he was not. There was blood all over the floor, all down his arm. He was still clutching a piece of glass. She wondered where the hell he gotten it, until she looked at the left corner and seen all the bits of glass, she realized that it was from the glass of water. She felt like this was her fault. {I should have given him a plastic or foam cup...I will from now on...} She was even more mortified to see the red spiral on the wall from his blood. It was a bit brown now, but this was exactly the dream that she told him about. {the doctors never really listen to what I have to say} She remembered whenever he said that. She wished that she had listened.

She called 2 more doctors to come in. They woken Cas up, but he was pretty out of it. They cleaned up the blood and the wall sense that was a biohazard. Cas ended up getting 7 stitches. They were shocked that he was alive.

Now, he was in a different room for an evaluation. "Why did you try to kill yourself?" The head doctor asked "I didn't !!" Cas insisted. "Angel radio made me do it...I did not want to die. I just had to paint that red spiral and then the voices would stop, ok? I just..." He trailed off. "Do you understand how devastated Sam and Dean would be?" "Yes, I understand." "ok, well, give me your wrist. You now have to wear another wristband along with your other 1. It says 'HIGH RISK.' You will be on 24/7 watch. You will be checked on 3 times a night. And you are not to go anywhere without Meg or another adult. Do you understand?" "Yes..." "ok. Please go back to your ward."

Cas did so. He sat quietly on the bed looking at his stitches. He looked at the wall where the bloody spiral had been, and audibly gasped whenever he realized that they cleaned it up. "NO!!" He screamed. "What now, Cas?" Meg asked. "I-It's gone...why...WHY DID YA'LL CLEAN IT UP?! IT WAS PROTECTING ME." "It was a biohazard-" "I DON'T CARE!!" And then, something like this that has never happened before, happened.

He struck Meg. He slapped her across the face. Despite how skinny he was, it was still a pretty powerful slap. Meg looked at him in awe.

He looked very much like he regretted what he did. "Meg...i'm sorry I didn't mean-" "No...another nurse will be watching you tonight. I Need a break from you."

Castiel's eyes watered. {Useless...} He thought. He sat quietly on his bed and barely even cared whenever another nurse that he did not recognize came in.

"Angels with me, not with you. They have gone away and they...they cannot help you..." He said very quietly.