The Red Spiral𖦹

𖦹23- missing𖦹

Cas ended up purging the spaghetti right afterward. Fortunately for Cas, Ezra did not hear him. But in a way, it was also unfortunate. 

Ezra knocked on the bathroom door just as Cas was finishing up and flushed the toilet. ''Cas? Is everything ok in there?'' 

Cas wiped his mouth with the back of his trenchcoat sleeve, shakily.

''Y-Yes, Ezra...'' He shakily stood up. He gripped the sides of the sink and looked in the mirror. Deep down, he loved how sick he looked.  He had gaunt sunken cheeks, and his cheekbones were protruding. He had hollowed, sunken in eyes, and he looked paler than ever. The blue in his eyes really stood out. He unlocked the bathroom door and slowly made his way out. ''What were you doing in there?'' Ezra asked in a way that was not exactly friendly. ''I was just-'' ''Angels do not use the bathroom and I know that you are not 100% human. Not yet.'' ''I was washing my hands.'' He lied. Ezra arched an eyebrow. ''I thought that I heard some retching sounds.'' Cas swallowed thickly. ''You didn't.'' ''How can I be so sure?'' Ezra went closer to him and grabbed his bony hand. There were new marks on his knuckles from where he bit down. He was even starting to get some teeth damage. Ezra walked into the bathroom. ''It smells like vomit in here.'' Castiel's heart dropped. He was usually so good at hiding it. ''Ezra...please...I'm sorry...'' ''You are never going to get better, are you, Cas?'' Ezra asked in a way that broken Castiel's heart. Castiel's eyes watered. Ezra went up to him and hugged him. ''I-I do want to recover, Ezra. But I am too far gone.'' He sobbed. ''I appreciate everything that you, Sam, Dean, and Meg have done for me but...you guys cannot fix me. I have always been diseased. I am sick terminally. Chronically.'' Ezra did not say anything. He just kept on hugging him and rubbing his back soothingly. 

After a while, Cas just decided to lie down on the couch. 

Eventually, Sam and Dean returned from the hunt. Cas had already begged Ezra not to tell them that he purged, but he had to. ''Hey, guys!! How did it go?'' Sam asked. ''Fine,'' Ezra replied flatly. ''How was the hunt?'' ''Easy!!'' Ezra smiled a bit. ''That is good.'' Dean noticed Cas on the couch. ''Is he ok?'' Ezra looked down a bit. ''Uh...'' He made a gesture with his hand that said 'follow me.' Sam and Dean followed. ''Look...I know you guys will probably be mad at me, but...I made Cas some spaghetti and he ate about a quarter of it. I thought that everything would be fine until...um...I found out that he um...'' ''Spit it out!!'' Dean exclaimed. Ezra flinched a bit. Sam has given him a warning look. ''He purged it up...'' Sam's eyes widened, and he seemed scared. Dean just seemed pissed. Sam vaguely wondered if Dean would try to put him in the malack box again. ''Why would you let him do that.'' Dean demanded angrily. ''I-I didn't!!'' ''Did you really think that it was wise to let him go to the bathroom right after he eats?! You know damn well about his anorexia did you not know about his bulimia too?!'' ''Dean...'' Sam said quietly.

''No, Sammy. He needs to learn. We welcomed you here, Ezra and we did not have to. We mostly only did it because Cas wanted it. We thought that maybe you could help him sense y'all were buddies, but maybe I was wrong. We could kick you out of here anytime.''

Ezra looked like he was going to cry, but he did not. ''Then do it...'' He said, looking down. ''Just like my family.'' 

Sam sighed. ''No, Ezra. We will not do that. Dean is just angry. It is not your fau-'' ''Oh, for Christs sake, yes it is!!'' He balled up his fist. ''I think that bring him here was a bad idea.'' He walked away. 

''I am so sorr-'' ''Stop. Ezra. Listen to me. This is not your fault at all. We should not have left you here thinking that you knew how to deal with somebody as mentally ill as Cas. We appreciate your efforts. At this point, I am not even sure if Cas will ever get better. I have always had faith in him. He told you that. The story about him becoming God and I prayed for him. But it comes to a certain point where it is what it is. This is different then a curse or a spell. This is mental illness.''

Ezra nodded, sniffling. ''So...is it my fault or not? And am I getting kicked out or not?'' ''It is...not really your fault. I do agree that you should have kept a better eye on him but then again, maybe you genuinely had no idea. And no, you are welcome here for as long as you desire.'' Ezra nods. ''Thank you, Sam.'' ''Of course. Now, lets go check on him, shall we?'' Ezra nods, smiling a bit. 

Him and Sam walk out to the couch where Cas was lying. But he was not there. Their hearts skipped a beat, though they did not know why because he could literally be in any other room.

So they started looking all around. They could not find him anywhere. They started freaking out. They even looked outside at places where he might be, like the garden or woods. But no. Sam decided to call Dean, hoping that maybe he taken Cas for a drive.

''What.'' Dean said whenever he picked up the phone.

''Is Cas with you?'' Sam asked.

''No.''

''Damn it. We cannot find him anywhere!!''

''What the hell do you mean?!''

''I was just talking with Ezra and we went back to the couch and he was gone!!''

Deans previous anger at Ezra melted away into a puddle of fear and anxiety. Where the hell could Cas be? Glenwood Springs? To see Meg per chance?

Their angel was missing.