The Red Spiral𖦹

𖦹8- the tube𖦹

"You say that you do not want to die. If that is true, you will eat something or let me put this tube in you." "Please, Meg...I am not that skinny...I have to stay pure or else I will get r..." He did not finish it. Meg shook her head in disgust. "No one has access to you besides me, the other doctors, and whenever Sam and Dean visit. And since you believe that you are not underweight, let me speak plainly to you. You are 95 lbs at 5'11. That puts your BMI at 13.2. Do you know how hard your heart is pumping and your body must work just to survive? It is a miracle that you are still alive. I am surprised that your hair has not fallen out!! Now let me tell you what is going to happen to your body soon, besides death, of course-" But Cas cut her off. "No...please...I do not want to know." "Well, too bad. You refuse to eat so now you will be faced with the harsh truth." She cleared her throat. "Well, soon, your hair will fall out. You are going to lose even more muscle than you have already lost, your organs will start failing if they are not already, and anemia, lowered immunity, cold all the time, oh and not to mention, your BMI is usually fatal in males while females like me can still be alive at even such a low BMI as 11. I have no idea how you are still kicking. Your friends from your old garrison must be watching over you. Oh, and 1 last thing, you are going to start having a lot of mental confusion if you are not already. And if you happen to have a seizure, you are going to die." "ok ok I get it..." He closed his eyes for a brief moment. He inhaled and exhaled shakily. "Let's do this." Meg smiled a bit. "There is the angel that I know." She put on some latex gloves. "Ok, this will not hurt much, but it is going to be uncomfortable." Cas nodded. He was prepared, and trying to be brave. 

Meg slowly slid the tube into his left nostril. His eyes watered in reaction. "It's ok...you're doing good." She said quietly. Eventually, the tube was in his stomach. "Ok, you are done!! Good job. Now, let me just tape it to your face." She put a piece of tape that had bees on it. She smiled a bit. This will help you. The food is already going in your stomach." "H-How many calories is it..." "That does not matter." Cas looked stressed out. "It is going to be ok. You need to gain weight." "How much do you expect me to weigh..." "130." "130?! No...I cannot." "Look, baby steps, alright? Now, I am going to tell Sam and Dean about this." She decided to text them.

𖤐Meg masters: Hey boys...just gotten the tube in Cas. No issues, thank god.

📓✧˖°.Sam: that is great !! I hope that he returns to a healthy weight soon...how bad is it?

𖤐Meg masters: you do not want to know...

📓✧˖°.Sam: O__o

٭*🐿•°Dean: great to hear.

Meg sighed, putting her phone away. Cas sat on the bed, looking uncomfortable and not saying much. He looked like he could cry at any moment. "How are you holding up?" She asked. "Fine...I guess...how long does this have to stay in for?" "For the rest of the day, we will have to keep doing it daily until you gain at least 10 lbs. Hopefully, by then, you will be ready to eat real food. We can start small, you know. Maybe like apple sauce or yoghurt?" Cas nodded. "Alright...I can try." Meg smiled a bit. "Good."

Night came. Removing the tube was not as uncomfortable. It felt relieving. He had to admit that taking the tape off hurt his skin a bit.

"Erm...excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom." He tried to get up as quickly as his weak legs would let him, but Meg lay a firm hand on his shoulder and gently sat him back down on the bed. He looked up at her in confusion. 

"Are we recovering or not? I need your head in the game, Cas."

"I don't und-"

"Stop lying to me. I know exactly what you are doing. Dont make me go in there with you."

Cas looked down, wit tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Meg...i am trying to get better..."

Meg softened a bit. "Hey, don't cry now. It will get better."

Cas nodded, wiping away his tears. He stared at his blue bracelet and the 1 that said high risk.

{i am sick terminally} he thought, and decided to go to bed.

That night, he dreamed about something.

a used up angel, my legs cut off.

all bloodied up.

i am a fuck up.

mutilate my body.

puking up my guts on the bathroom floor.

so much gore...

i am lost in the woods and I cannot see anything.

drug me up, I cannot feel anything.

take me to your basement.

i am so fucking worthless, I want you to fucking break me.

just a dumb little angel, I am pouring bleach on my brain.

tragic but glamorous, we cannot relate.

so fucking fake.

He awoken with a gasp, covered in sweat. "What? What is it?" Meg asked, surprised. 

He was ok. He could still feel his legs. No blood. No woods. "N-nothing...just a bad dream. A new one." 

Meg looked concerned still. "Alright..."

Cas tried to go back to sleep, but found it difficult. So many thoughts raced through his head. {What if that dream is another telling for the future? Are my legs actually going to be cut off? Is someone using me? Am I going to be bloody? Am I a fuck up? Is someone planning on mutilating my body? Surely not Meg or Sam or Dean...is there a doctor here that is not trustworthy? Purging??? Gore?! What woods? Not see anything...? am I going to go blind ?! What drugs?! Wait...i have a really strong feeling on that one...}