The Red Spiral𖦹

𖦹6- the second attempt𖦹

Castiel was very very upset whenever Meg and the other doctors cleaned up the red spiral on the wall. He did not care if they cleaned up the blood, and he did not care if it was a biohazard, either. He "needed" it to protect him. He knew that if it stayed upon the wall, it was only a matter of time before the eye would appear in the center and start talking to him. He assumes that it will be comforting, in a way.

But how was he to hurt himself whenever he is on high-risk and is under watch 24 / 7?

He figured his only option was to use his teeth. He could bite down on his skin hard enough to draw blood. He had tried to break the mirror in his bathroom, but all that resulted in was a bloody hand (not enough blood to paint a new red spiral) and no mirror.

He also gotten scolded. Lectured about how this was going to have to go in his records...about he could get infected from these cuts if he did not clean them...how he was putting others at risk because of his blood...blah blah blah...he did not particularly care.

But 1 night about a month after the first incident, he sat on the bed staring at his stitches. It was mostly healed by now. He did end up getting his hands on a lighter. He looked back behind him towards the chair where Meg was sitting. She fell asleep. He flicked on the lighter. It started speaking to him, sounding like angel radio.

"Do it. Or you are not worthy. Just like your vessel Jimmy whenever he stuck his hand in that pot of boiling water to prove his faith to the higher authorities. Do it, Castiel."

He gasped a bit, flicking the lighter off. He felt his heart beating a bit harder then usual, but of course that could of been because he knew that he was slowly dying. He had lost an incredible amount of weight, and nobody could get him to eat.

He quickly went and sat on the floor, in the same spot where he painted the first red spiral. He had to be quiet so that Meg did not see.

He had been using a nail file to sharpen his canine teeth for a while now. {this has to work.} He thought. He bit down as hard as he could, and made sure to be quiet even though it really hurt. This was not quick like last time. Eventually, blood started to show. But it was not enough. He tried to go deeper and deeper, using his fingernails to dig inside.

Eventually, though lightheaded, he finally had enough. He carefully drew the spiral with his blood just like last time. Maybe even better this time.

He quickly written a note that said DO NOT CLEAN Because he knew that he was going to pass out soon, he could feel it.

Just as he finished up, he knew that Meg woken up. He gulped. "CASTIEL!! What the fuck are you doing?!" She exclaimed.

Cas looked up at her innocently with those sunken in eyes and hollow cheekbones. "I'm sorry...I had to..." "What do you mean you-" She grit her teeth and grabbed his thin arm. "Look what you are doing to yourself!! Have you any idea how sick you are? Thank God Sam and Dean put you in here..." Cas had nothing to say. "I am quite tired now." Meg helped him up and he lied on his bed. The wound would be taken care of in the morning...

And it was. He woken up groggily and immediately checked to see if the red spiral was still there. Thankfully, it was. He knew that he was going to be in deep shit to-day. "Meg?" He said quietly. "Castiel. You are in big trouble." "I-I'm sor-" "I do not want to hear it. Let me see your damn arm." He gulped, shakily giving her his arm. "This could get infected, you know. And if it does, you might go into sepsis. And you will not survive that, you are barely surviving now. How did you do this anyway? I know that there is not any glass or anything." {I cannot mention the lighter.} "I...I used my teeth..." He confessed quietly. Meg made a gagging Sound. "You what? That is fucking disgusting." "I know I know..." Meg scoffed, as she cleaned his wound and put a band-aid on it. It did not need stitches. "You have made your statement. We will not wipe off the red spiral but I hope that you know that it is a biohazard." Cas nodded, he understood. Meg shaken her head. "I Am going to have to tell Sam and Dean about this." "Why have they gotten to know?" "Because they are your beneficiaries. It is just the rules." Cas sighed. Maybe angel radio would leave him alone now. He was scared for the night to come...he knew that 1 of these nights the eye was going to appear in the center. Would it help him or hurt him?

"What if it is my fault that he is in there, Sam? I was always such an asshole to him..." "Dean, you absolutely cannot blame yourself for this. Clearly, Cas is very sick and we just missed the signs. Whatever is wrong with him...it was not created by us." Dean sighed, taking a swig of his beer. Then, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Meg here."

"Lord, what now?"

"Cas created another 'red spiral' with his blood. I partially blame myself for falling asleep but I thought that I could trust him somewhat. Clearly not."

"Damn...is he ok?"

"Yes...Dean, I hate to say this but I feel like he is never going to get better."

"Don't say that." Dean snapped, but honestly, he was just in denial.

"Just speaking the truth...look, I better go. By the way, if you have any ideas to get him to eat, send the my way. Our angel is wasting."

She hung up after that.