They finally arrived at the hospital.
Cas was getting 17 stitches in his neck. He would have a permanent scar forever. Just like on his arms from when he cut himself to paint the red spiral.
Sam and Dean waited in the waiting room. they were even more anxious now than they were in the car.
After what seemed like an eternity, a dr. finally came out.
"For Castiel?"
Sam and Dean jumped out of their seats.
"How is he?" They asked at the same time.
"Well, the good news is, he is going to live."
Sam and Dean sighed in relief.
"And the bad news?'' Dean asked.
''Well, luckily for him, the razor just missed his vocal cords. If he were to slice through those or nick them, he would probably never talk again. But the razor just went through tissue, mostly. From his external carotid artery to his inferior belly of the omohyoid muscle. In plain talk, just diagonally, like you guys have seen. Anyway, his recovery will take a few weeks. After he is cleared to leave the hospital, he will be going to a maximum security psych ward and put on suside watch. We know he was at Glenwood Springs before and was on HIGH RISK. But this different psych ward is called Hollowed Creek. It is a bit down yonder. We also noticed that he seems to be underweight. Has he attempted suside before?"
Sam sighed, ''Not exactly. You probably seen the scars on his arms. Well, those are from whenever he was at Glenwood Springs. It is a long and complicated story, but basically, he used his blood to paint a red spiral but was not susidel. We still believe that he is not. We think that he is just feeling deeply helpless. And...will we be able to see him at Hollowed Creek?"
"I am not sure. You will have to ask the staff members there. Any other questions, gentlemen?"
''Yeah, I have a question. Can we see him right now? Also, did he say anything at all to you or anybody?"
''It may have sounded like he was faintly mumbling, but it mostly sounded like gibberish to us. We could not really understand it, stuff about like uhh 'stopped breathing' 'ghost is haunting' 'go find another?' Not sure about all that...but I will go see if you guys can visit him, ok?"
Sam and Dean nodded. Whenever the dr. walked away, they looked at each other and started talking. ''What do we think 'stopped breathing' means?'' Dean asked.
''Maybe cuz he stopped breathing whenever he tried to kill himself?'' Sam offered.
''What about ghost is haunting? I mean, makes sense but what ghost?''
''No idea, man. Way too vague. Perchance Meg could be the ghost even though she is alive? Maybe she is like the ghost of Glenwood Springs?''
''Yeah, maybe...shit, that reminds me. I better call her."
Sam nods but just as Dean is about to, the dr. came back.
''Gentlemen? You may see him now, but only for a short time. He is weak.''
''Yes, sir.'' Sam and Dean said thankfully while walking briskly to his room.
And there Cas was, lying on the hospital bed. All of this just felt like the same old shit, a never-ending loop. He was in a white hospital gown wit tubes and IVs and a bandage on his neck and a tube under his nose. It made them sad to see him like this, but happy that he was alive.
{Nothing more fucking embarrassing than a suside attempt.} Cas thought.
''Hey, Cas...'' Dean said quietly.
Cas could not help but be bitter. He just wanted to die. He would take suffering in the empty.
"Um..." Sam started to say.
"Oh, save your pity!! I do not need to hear it. Why did I do it? Cuz I want to die!! Why do I want to die? Cuz I am trapped inside my own mind and it is driving me insane!! How can I make you understand? I will never be better or back to my old self ever again!! You should have just let me die...now I will be at Glenwood Springs forever..." Tears welled up in his eyes and he looked away sharply.
''Cas, listen.'' Dean said quickly before he could interrupt again. ''I am so so sorry for putting you In that malack box like that. It was selfish. And it was just plain wrong. I was an asshole for doing that. And I hope that you can forgive me some day...'' Dean looked down.
Cas nodded, but did not say anything. ''Sam?''
Sam looked up quickly. ''Y-yeah?''
''Say your piece.''
''Uh...well...we were not trying to pity you. We or at least, I genuinely want to see you get better. You will get better and back to your old self. We would never let you purposely die. And uh...about that...you uh...you are not going back to Glenwood Springs, Cas...''
Cas looked surprised. "I-i am not?''
''Well, no...the thing is...you are going to a different place...a much stricter psych ward called Hollowed Creek.''
Cas looked terrified. ''W-wha...is Meg going to be there?! Will I ever see you guys?!??'' His heart rate started to rise. ''Whoa whoa Cas calm down...'' Sam rushed over to him and sat on his bed, placing a hand on his shoulder. ''We were not trying to scare you...we just figured that you would rather hear it from us then the doctors. And good thing...ok?'' ''O-ok...'' ''So listen. We are not sure yet if Meg is going to be there. We have to make some arrangements. We think that we can visit you but not all the time, sorry.'' Cas nods. ''Ok...thanks, guys. I would like to rest now if that is ok.'' ''Of course. We will stop by later, ok?'' ''Yeah...that would be good.''
Sam and Dean left the room. "What are we going to do wit him?'' Dean sked quietly. ''Hope and pray I guess...come on, lets leave this joint.''
And so they did.
A few hours later, Cas woken up from a dr. entering his room.
''Ok, Castiel. Time for your transfer.''
He swore that he seen the doctors eyes blink black.
YOU ARE READING
The Red Spiral𖦹
Fanfiction𖦹𖦹𖦹 in which Castiel slowly loses his grip on reality. trigger warning for eating disorders, self-harm, and suicide. (my biggest story yet !!)
