Let Me Explain

T H I R T Y

SLEEPING at my house had been very rare this past week and it seemed like my parents hardly cared that I hadn't been home lately.

It could've been on the fact that I was always in my room with the door locked when I was home.

I never cared that they stopped dealing with me. I had made it that way.

But it kind of started stinging when they showed that they didn't care anymore.

People had filled the house up pretty quickly. Aliyah had only wanted a few people over, but the number in vision drastically changed.

We all knew that it would just be more to clean up tonight.

The bathroom downstairs was a split bathroom. I had the door closed on my side, sitting by the toilet. I was nauseous because I hadn't eaten all day, yet I was also sick because of all the problems that hadn't been resolved in my life.

I would've thought that crying about my issues would make me feel better, but it had only made me feel worse.

It was confirmation that everything that had
happened to me was real. It truly allowed me to feel the pit of my situation and it didn't feel good.

The side of my face rested against the toilet seat. My headache had progressed and felt almost blinding. The cold toilet seat was the only ounce of relief that could help me.

If I wasn't so sick in the moment, I would've been completely put off with having my face on the toilet seat.

My life felt like it was reaching rock bottom at this point. No one would take the chance to understand me, and If I let them, I would only feel guilty about it.

I was crying about nothing. The situation was over and had been done with a long time ago. The fact that I was still questioning everything proved that I wanted to be miserable.

I turned to the side, leaning my head further into the toilet when I felt like throwing up again. Too many thoughts were swarming around in my head

My hand ran over the side of my face before drifting into my hair to move stray pieces of hair behind my ear. I sat up and flushed the toilet, finally leaving my misery.

I washed my hands with cold water and prayed that I would feel better by the end of the night.

Aliyah, Asra, and Susanna were in the kitchen. The house was crowded and drinks littered the counters. Empty cups, half filled cups, cigarette butts, and alcohol bottles were everywhere.

Aliyah was drinking a bottle of corona beer. Her hair was tossed over one shoulder and she wore an off the shoulder top. Her skin was pale from being away from the sun but it brought out the pretty color of her eyes.

"You guys were cute together." Aliyah lightly smiled before sipping out of her drink. "I hope you find each other in another life."

"Except there is no other life. This one is all we got." Asra replied while shrugging her shoulders. "By the way, nothing you say will make me go to prom."

"I don't want to go alone." Aliyah sighed loudly while leaning her head back. "We can just go together."

"And what? I third wheel you and your boyfriend?" Asra raised a brow. "That's not us going together."