PITBABE: Alan x Jeff ( PIT STOP ROMANCE ) ABO

JEFF

Alan is with me... in my home. I can't believe I am over-excited for such a simple gesture. We brought groceries on our way here.

Alan had this weird look that I hadn't seen before. I smiled hesitantly. 

Me:
Wh.... What's wrong?

Alan:
You said you met Charlie in the garage, didn't you?

Me:
Yeah! Why?

I said without realizing that he was just cross-verifying me. The look on his face says that he already knows something about this matter.

Alan gave me a photo frame. This was taken 10 years ago. Charlie and I were wearing our school uniform. I took the frame from Alan.

Me:
Actually... I thought of telling you this.

Alan spoke 1000 words without a sound. His eyes changed from doubting to betrayal and mine into guilt.

Me:
I swear. I thought of talking about this to you.

Alan:
I didn't say anything. Did I?

He knew exactly how to make me guilty.

Me:
I can explain it. I thought of talking about this to you today but a lot of things happened.

Alan:
You would have told me the same if I knew this after a week.

Me:
Please! I thought you would think I came through Charlie or Babe's influence if I had told this to you earlier.

Alan:
I am not even mad at you, Jeff. I am just... disappointed. Disappointed that you have been with me for so long and still failed to understand me. Do you think that I am that kind of a person? And, I was the one who tested your skills and then recruited you.

Me:
I know you well. That's why I thought of talking about this to you!

Alan:
'Thought?' What's it gonna do with just thinking? You were lying to me the whole time. And you expect me to believe you now?

Me:
My intentions were not to lie to you.

Alan sighed as he spoke.

Alan:
Enough with it, Jeff. I don't wanna talk about it. I am only staying here because I promised you that I would take care of you till you're done with your recovery. Don't make me break my promise.

I approached him, but he moved back.

I reached out for his hands, but I was already tearing up. Not out of guilt, but because of what he said to me.

Alan:
May I know how long were you planning to fool me??

His voice raised a bit. I had no words to reply, but my tears were answering him.

I was not actually planning to tell him about this matter. That is the truth.

Alan yanked my hand away and left the room.
I can understand his reason for being mad at me. The fault is mine and I am not saying otherwise. But I can't bear the fact that Alan is being mad at me.

I knelt and cried at the thought of him realizing that I betrayed him.

I stayed by the kitchen's counter for a while and maybe after 2 or 3 hours, Alan opened the door. My heart skipped a beat after seeing him. I thought he would leave me. The rays of hope shined back at me. The hope that I can fix this unresolved feeling. Despite the lingering anger in his eyes, there was a slight tenderness in his eyes as he shifted his eyes from me to my injured palm. I didn't realize that I was wiping my tears, which kept rolling down my eyes.

My heart beat faster as he approached me. The tenderness in his eyes vanished as he walked past me to the kitchen's hob. My wounded hand made me vulnerable physically and Alan avoiding me made me vulnerable mentally. He ignored me almost as if I never existed.

I turned to look at him, but he was making ramen, enough for the two of us. Tears rolled down again. I was weeping in silence till he looked at me and shrugged again. His actions were almost as if they were calling me to hug him. And so, I did.

I walked towards him and hugged him from behind. My hands traced their way to his abs while my cheek felt the warmth of his body. I slowly pulled him more towards me. The silence was loud. In a minute or two, his shoulders were wet by my tears.

The aura was unpleasant and the tension between us only grew bigger. I know I was emitting vulnerable pheromones but Alan is a normal human who can't comprehend my pheromones or the feelings I emit through it.

Alan:
Don't touch me. I don't want to yell at you again.

I slowly moved away from the hug though my hands didn't want to leave his body. 

Me:
Please forgive me this time. I know I am wrong. But can't you give me just another chance? I will never hide anything from you again. Including this! This is because I was afraid of hearing others commenting about getting this job through other's recommendations. I didn't know we would get this close with each other.

Alan:
You could have just told me after getting closer. But you decided to still lie and hide things from me. You also ruined Babe's trust in Charlie and you. 

Me:
I didn't think about this that much. It is my fault. I can explain it to Babe! Maybe can understand me.

Alan:
I am at fault for not understanding you now?

Me:
I didn't mean it that way. Since Babe is an Alpha, he can understand things even if I don't express them in words. But it is practically impossible with you.

Alan:
Perfect. Go and find yourself an Alpha who can understand you better. You could have told me this before so I won't be attached to you like this. Fuck!

Me:
Can't you see I am trying to be a better person by being vocal? Don't act like a kid. I made a mistake and I am reflecting on it now. What more can I do to please you now?

Alan:
Enough, Jeff. Let's end this conversation here. Talk to Babe or any other alpha you're comfortable with. Nothing is holding you.

I sighed, helpless. I never expected this conversation to go south. I know this is my mistake. All of it. 

Me:
I didn't say like that. There are differences between a human like you and me. We both aren't the same and you know that!

Alan:
What do you want me to do now?

Me:Just be patient with me. I am trying to change. Everything here is so new to me. I didn't know this would hurt you this much. But regardless, it is my mistake. 

Alan sighed, annoyed by me. I know it is frustrating for him to be with me or talk to me. It is my fault. I can't socialize much like others or express everything I feel. I box everything up inside me so I wouldn't be a burden to others. And this is the reason. 

No one can understand how hard it is to love a person with all your heart and he loves you back, but destiny won't let you guys be together. And only you know about this so you gotta keep your mouth shut.