Veiled Emotions - A Scaramouche fanfic

Chapter 12 - Guilt

Scaramouche

She wasn't there when everyone gathered for dinner. She wasn't there when the tables were being cleared either. I was getting extremely frustrated as I thought about what could have happened. I had clearly told her to return before dinner time. Did she run away? Had I been so harsh on her that I had pushed her to the point of wanting to flee from the Fatui?

If that was really the case, there was no point in worrying about her whereabouts. It's not like I was holding her against her will here. Her name wasn't on any records either. She was technically free to go. She did not seem like she hated it here or anything, but she was extremely smart and cunning so I wouldn't hold it past her if she was just putting on a show.

I couldn't help but feel a tinge of grief as I thought about not having her around me anymore. I was going to ignore the feeling altogether. I had promised myself not to get attached to another person ever again but there I was, feeling betrayed once again. After another hour had passed my mind filled with worry.

There was the possibility that she had gotten caught by the vision hunt decree or worse, gotten herself killed. I quickly sprung to my feet. I was just going to go till Amakane island. If her vessel was still there, it could mean that she was in trouble. Otherwise I wouldn't bother looking for her. I had made up my mind.

I got my subordinates to get a boat ready for me. They all kept pestering me about what the matter was but the last thing I wanted was for them to spread even more rumors. I couldn't care less about them. All I wanted was her to have not run away.

I docked the boat on the shore and got out. I scanned the shore and saw her boat still at the waypoint. I felt a little guilty for being glad that she had not run away although this would mean that she could be in serious trouble.

I was on high alert as I walked on the sand. My eyes widened in surprise as I  saw her coming my way.  I almost smiled when I saw that she was safe but it quickly faded away when I saw her expression. She seemed extremely distressed as she saw me. I walked closer at once and she burst into tears. I looked down and saw her body covered in bruises and scrapes. It looked like she had gotten into some painful altercation with someone. I noticed her hands covered in blood and I held my breath. Was she hurt? I scanned her injuries and didn't find anything too serious and was relieved as she walked closer. She seemed to be coming from the city so whatever happened must have happened there.

"I... " She tried talking to me but she couldn't even seem to finish a sentence before she broke down into tears once again.

"I.. Killed someone.. " She managed to say as she looked down at her blood covered hands. Her voice croaked as she tried to stop crying.

I had expected that something of this kind had happened. I could only imagine how she was feeling right now. The overwhelming emotions of fear and adrenaline mixed with the guilt. This took me back to when I had first taken someone's life. I wasn't always like that but that's what I was after Dottore took me in. I could relate to her up to an extent.

"Did anyone see you? " This was something important that I had to be sure of.

"No.. I don't think so? I left as soon as I realized what had happened.. " She tried her best to stop crying in front of me.

I felt my chest tighten at her state. She was a brave girl. She fought for her life and was also smart enough to leave before someone discovered the body. Usually I would have reprimanded her for being so distraught over this but for some reason I actually felt pity for her. I acted without thinking once again.