Jughead's Voiceover
The weirdest thing about pretending to be dead is
that after a while,you actually start feeling like you're dead. As in, "dead as a doornail" dead.
In the bunker
Microwave beeps
Jughead grabs his food
Jughead's Voiceover
For starters, I was underground, as if in a tomb.
Granted, I was hiding out in Dilton's doomsday bunker and not in a coffin, but still. Two weeks, no sunlight,with no sense of time or its passing?
It's gotta be what limbo feels like, right?Other similarities to being dead: Not one, but two obituaries about me ran.
In Pop's
Pop reading the newspaper about Jughead's fake death and Pop Tate crying
Jughead's Voiceover
A rather perfunctory one in The Riverdale Register.
In students lounge
Toni and Kevin eading the newspaper
Jughead's Voiceover
A second, more irreverent one in the Blue and Gold. I liked that one.
Kevin and Toni looks at each other
Jughead's Voiceover
I had a funeral. Well, a wake. I watched it on my laptop. Live-streamed from a camera Betty had set up in the living room. Betty and I suspected that the Stonies would show up.And, sure enough, they did. We wanted to study them,
to see if anything they did was suspicious.
Not that there was any doubt in our mind about their guilt. The Preppies had stone-cold murdered me and were trying to pin it on Betty.
We just couldn't prove it. Not yet. Meanwhile,
the hardest part of playing dead was letting everyone believe I was in the semi-sweet hereafter. Our family, our friends. The lies we had to tell,the things we had to do to sell that illusion. Like pretending that my bereft girlfriend had found comfort in the strong, steely arms of my best bud. Which turned out to be the greatest misdirect of them all. Of course, we needed to let
some people know the truth. Except in one case.
My kid sister Jellybean? Didn't have to be told.
In Betty's bedroom
Jellybean walks in
Betty says to Jellybean "Oh, you found the fake blood. Thanks, Jellybean."
Jellybean says to Betty "Do you need it for Jughead?"
Betty says to Jellybean "What? What do you...?What do you mean?"
Jellybean says to Betty "Do you need it to help my brother?"
Betty says to Jellybean "Jellybean, do you know
where Jughead is?"
Jellybean says to Betty "I heard you whispering on the phone to Charles last night. The walls are super thin. You don't have to tell me where he is,
just that he's okay. Is he...okay?"
Betty says to Jellybean "Can you keep a secret?"
In Fp's office
Betty knocks on the door
Betty walks in
Jughead's Voiceover
We brought my dad into it pretty quick,too.
Fp says to Betty "Hey,Betty.
Betty shuts the door
Fp says to Betty "I, uh...I gave that bloody rock
to Charles.He said the FBI is gonna have it tested."
Betty says to Fp "And when they do,they will tell you that it's covered in fake blood that you can buy at a drugstore."
Fp scoffs
Fp says to Betty "What the hell are you talking about?"
Betty says to Fp "I don't want you
to worry anymore.Mr. Jones, I'm really sorry
that you've been worrying. Jughead's fine. He's... Okay, he's not fine,but he's okay."
Fp says to Betty "Hold on. You know where Jughead is?"
Betty says to Fp "Yes."
Fp sighs
Fp sits down
Betty says to Fp "I will tell you everything, okay?
But we really, really need your help, please."
Fp says to Betty "I'm afraid to ask,but what kind of help?"
Betty says to Fp "For starters...a search party."
Jughead's Voiceover
Archie went rogue and told his mom too.
In Archie's bedroom
Archie draws his curtains shut
Archie sits down
Archie looks at Mary
Archie says to Mary "Mom, I have to confess
something to you."
In Veronica's bedroom
Veronica and Hermosa walks in
Jughead's Voiceover
And then there was Veronica's sister, Hermosa,
Veronica shuts the door
Jughead's Voiceover
who was sniffing around,looking for bones.
Veronica says to Hermosa "All right. What do you wanna know?"
Veronica crosses her arms
Hermosa says to Veronica "Let me ask you straight up,hermanita."
Hermosa is sitting on the bed
Hermosa says to Veronica "Did you help Betty
kill her boyfriend?"
Veronica looks shocked
Veronica says to Hermosa "What? No, why would I do that?"
Hermosa says to Veronica "Because that's the kind of thing that secret girlfriends do. They kill each other's boyfriends so they can be together."
Veronica says to Hermosa "Okay. I don't know
what kind of crypto-lesbian pulp fiction you're conjuring, Hermosa,but Betty and I are just friends."
Hermosa says to Veronica "Well, then, what did happen to that dead Torombolo? Either you can tell me or I'll just keep digging. Don't forget, I'm a licensed..."
Veronica says to Hermosa "Private investigator. Right. Not sure why I didn't think of this before...
but maybe you could help us with something.
Me, Betty, and Archie.How much do you charge,
Hermosa? And is there a discount for family members?"
Jughead's Voiceover
In the months that followed, people will ask us,
did we need to do it? Go to such extreme lengths?
Maybe. Maybe not. But this I did know:If I was going to recover without the Preppies trying to kill me again and figure out how to solve my own murder,I needed the illusion to be perfect to buy myself time.
In the classroom
Teacher says to the class "Please make sure you're following along."
Archie looks at Betty
Archie touches Betty's hand
Jughead's Voiceover
So while above me,a world without Jughead
continued spinning forward...I pored over every scrap of evidence we'd gathered.Went over every detail of my time at Stonewall Prep,looking for hidden patterns,hints and clues.But this was a different kind of mystery than the ones we'd tackled before.This wasn't a whodunnit. This was a whydunnit. More psychological. I needed to get under my suspects skin, inside their heads. I had to let my intuition take over to draw these
disparate strands together.The missing Stonewall Four,the accidental deaths of DuPont's classmates,my attempted murder.How were they all connected? A key piece of information came from Hermosa. Which was that Donna...
In the bunker
Betty climbs down the ladder
Betty says to Jughead "Jug? Jug? Are you okay?"
Jughead says to Betty "Yeah, sorry, I was just going over everything one more time.What's up, did they find him?"
Betty says to Jughead "Yeah. Yes. We did.Well, I mean, Charles and FP did."
Jughead says to Betty "And did he agree?"
Betty says to Jughead "Completely."
Jughead claps his hands
Betty says to Jughead "He's showering as we speak."
Jughead kisses Betty
Jughead puts his beanie on
Betty says to Jughead "So are we doing this or what?"
Jughead says to Betty "Oh, yeah. We are gonna blow Stonewall Prep out of the water."
Jughead picks up Betty
Betty kisses Jughead
