Night Sky Bloom

18- Lotus

His dreams had been more vivid, lately. Where he used to have dreamless nights and simple thoughts, his days and nights had changed since he presented. Little by little, they were being taken over by a single person. One he never thought could end up occupying his mind as a whole.

"Wait, so is he okay?"

"Wha...?" Jisung's gaze met Felix's puzzled expression. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts he had nearly forgotten where he was. He blinked several times, trying to remember the question as he stared at Felix's face. The latter had stopped by to check on Jisung after he'd flown out of the house the day prior.

"Minho," Felix's voice held a mix of concern and patience, "Is he alright?"

Jisung cleared his throat, nodding stiffly. "Yeah, yeah. He's okay. Just needs rest."

Felix frowned, studying Jisung's face. "You seem... distracted."

"I'm fine, Felix," Jisung brushed him off, not wanting to admit the truth. He wasn't sure exactly what was happening between him and Minho- but whatever it was, it felt like a dangerous secret he needed to keep all to himself.

"Jisung, you can tell me anything," Felix said softly, reaching across to place a comforting hand on his arm. "If you ever decide you want to. But... I won't push."

He smiled, and Jisung wondered if Felix could read his thoughts. The grin seemed too... knowing.

"I know." Jisung nodded, hastily looking away from the genuine concern in Felix's eyes. It felt wrong to lie to his friend, but he had no choice. What could he possibly say? That he'd been dreaming about Minho? Daydreaming about him? Craving his scent and touch in a way that seemed borderline obsessive and didn't make sense?

His dreams tip-toed a line that seemed to be half-metaphor, half-explicit and unfamiliar. He couldn't even sort out his own thoughts, much less explain them.

"Take some time for yourself, okay?" Felix suggested gently. "You've been working hard taking care of us all recently."

Jisung just nodded again. He wouldn't say that it was Minho who kept invading his thoughts; that the thought of touching him again made his heart flutter in anticipation, because that couldn't be it. There had to be more to it. Maybe some alpha-omega dynamic he was missing.

But then it would have happened with Felix or Hyunjin, probably. Everything was too confusing. Maybe it was time for him to take Felix's advice and take a step back- a chance to sort out his thoughts in peace.

After all, he couldn't afford to lose his head now- not when so much depended on him keeping it together.

Retreating into his room felt like escaping into sanctuary; the only place where he could let himself think about Minho without having to hide it.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, Jisung found himself replaying their encounter in his mind. Minho's flushed cheeks, his shaky exhale, the way he shivered under Jisung's touch...

Jisung sighed deeply and closed his eyes, his mind spinning with confusion. It was as if a spell had been cast over him- one that made him yearn for Minho in a way he didn't entirely understand.

But what did it mean?

And more importantly, what was he going to do about it? What could he do? It seemed like Minho was into it, but Jisung could be reading it wrong. They just didn't know each other well enough, and it was infuriating.

The one person he could talk this out with- needed to talk this out with- was unapproachable and mean, even if he seemed to hate it. He wished he could say that he had no idea when this all began, where things started changing, but he did.