Night Sky Bloom

30- Cosmos

"Felix kissed me as a fun, meaningless thing for him. It didn't mean anything to either of us. I'm not playing around with anyone's feelings, at least not purposefully." He would do it. He had little to lose, at this point. "He doesn't care for me that way. And I've already talked to him to make sure he knows that I don't feel that way for him, either. He's one of my best friends, but that's it."

Minho was still turned away from him, but had stopped in his tracks, only his breathing audible as Jisung paused.

"When... when we were in the kitchen after our cycles ended, your tone of voice freaked me out. I thought we were having... I thought we were getting..." He didn't know how to word it without making things more awkward, but he needed to get it all out, somehow. "Things were so sweet, and I thought we had finally made it over whatever bullshit hurdle we had been dancing around. Everything felt so right, Minho. And then-"

"And then I ruined it?" Minho turned around and stared at Jisung, his expression completely dissolved into a mix of emotions that made Jisung's heart ache even further. "How did I- my tone of voice?" His lip wobbled as he looked off to the side and swallowed.

Jisung knew what came next.

"So it's my fault, then? It's my fault you had Felix over directly after fucking me. It's my fault you were panicking and couldn't talk to me. It's my fault you kissed him and scented him like a thirsty fucking virgin." Minho huffed, his breaths growing shakier. Jisung knew better than to take what he was saying to heart, though. He knew what it meant when Minho acted like this.

He knew Minho better than he thought he did.

"No." Jisung reassured. He wouldn't fight back. He wouldn't escalate things further on purpose. He wanted to make Minho entirely aware of how wanted he was, since that seemed to be the insecurity he was fighting the most. "I didn't even know Felix was going to kiss me. All of us were sitting at the dining table, and I had completely dissociated. I wasn't caught up on the conversation at all. I was stuck sitting there, thinking about you. Nothing but you. Only you."

"So, what then? Felix, the adorable, innocent boy the entire village knows and loves- he just took advantage of your anxiety? That's what you're going with?"

"He didn't even know. I was fucking stupid, Minho. He asked if I'd 'be down.' He looked so excited, I didn't even know what I was agreeing to, but I said yes. I just wanted him to keep being excited and happy. It was that simple. He felt awful, afterwards, and so did I." Jisung took a step closer, looking between Minho's eyes to try and display all of the truth in his words. He would give anything to make the omega understand.

"Why you?" Minho's eyes rolled in slight annoyance when his voice broke, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Why did he have to kiss you? Why not Jinnie or your fucking guard dog? And why was there a kiss to begin with, if it was meaningless?" His voice grew softer, quieter, as he watched Jisung take another step closer.

"I was the easiest choice. Jin is dating Jeongin, now. Seungmin has a 'thing' with someone else, although we know very few details because he's quiet about his personal affairs. And... Felix did it to make someone he likes jealous. I can't say who, but he just wanted to see if the person would react at all."

Minho looked towards the floor and his feet, blinking rapidly as he seemed to process all of the information given. "Fine. Okay. So what was..." He sighed again before looking back up to Jisung. "What did I say, or what was my tone, that made you freak out so much?"

Jisung stilled, unprepared for that question. His skin prickled as if he were laying in a bed of ivy. Unspoken truths felt all the same.

"In the kitchen, when I asked how you... wanted it. Wanted me. And-" He paused, hoping he wouldn't have to continue when Minho's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed impossibly further than they had been all night.