Wanted: Brother-in-law (Published)

Chapter Two

I wanted to die. 

Right here, right now, infront of all this people. I felt like I wanted to die. I cannot bear the sight of the woman I love walking down the aisle to marry the man that can give her everything she had ever want. 

I wanted to die. 

I don't want to feel this nagging feeling inside my chest , like my heart was being torn into a million pieces... I wanted to die... 

But I just couldn't. 

Instead I stood there, smiling at her, acting like everything was normal, but deep inside, I feel like I'm trapped in a really bad movie. 

Pero alam kong hindi. Jasmine looked so pretty today. She looked so gorgeous, wearing that white dress, glowing with so much happiness. Sino ba naman ang hindi sasaya? one more step and she's about to get the things that she had hoped for, since she was just eight years old. 

"I'm so lucky, dude..." Julian whispered to me. I turned my head to him and smiled. 

"Yeah, congratulations." sumakit ang sikmura ko sa sinabi ko iyong. I just couldn't believe that I was actually congratulating this bastard who was about to take my Jasmine away from me. F.O.R.E.V.E.R. and that sucks. 

All my life I wanted to be that guy Jasmine would turn to whenever she needs something. I've always been that guy beside her, I've always been the shoulder to cry on, the knight in shining armour. Kontento na ako sa ganoon, but then one night changed everything. 

I never really planned on telling her what I feel. Nadulas lang ako. Lagi akong natatakot noon na baka kapag nalaman ni Jasmine ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya, iwan niya ako. Pero nagkamali pala ako. When I told her I loved her, she was happy. Sabi niya, matagal na niyang hinihintay ang pagkakataong iyon. Ang pagkakataon na magkakaroon ako ng lakas ng loob para sabihin sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko. 

At mula noon, nagbago na ang lahat. Suddenly, our friendship ended, and a new realationship begun. I was happy, ganoon rin naman siya, we we're together for almost seven years. Siya lang ang kaisa-isang babaeng minahal ko, the only girl I thought of spending my whole life with, the only girl I planned of marrying... 

But after college, things got complicated. Bigla akong nanibago kay Jasmine, lagi na lamang niyang ipinapasok ang usapan ng kasal. May plano naman talaga akong pakasalan siya, pero noong mga panahong iyon, hindi pa ako handa. Isang bagay na hindi niya maintindihan... at iyon ang naging mitsa ng lahat-lahat. 

Umalis si Jasmine. Naiwan ako dito, nalunod ako noon sa sobrang kalungkutan. Ang buong akala ko kasi, noong umalis siya, huminto na ang pag-ikot ng mundo ko. Pinabayaan ko ang sarili ko. I was a train wreck. I didn't care. I drink everyday until I pass out. I almost died. 

My mother was kind enough to make me realize that I am miserable. One night, she went to see me, she said she wanted to talk, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she just sat in front of me, and she cried for hours. 

Doon ko lang naisip na sa ginagawa ko, hindi lang sarili ko ang sinasaktan ko kundi pati na rin ang mga taong nagmamahal sa akin. 

Pagkatapos nang gabing iyon, muli akong bumangon, ipinagpatuloy ko ang pag-ikot ng mundo ko, mahirap... hindi ko alam kung paano ako maabubuhay na wala sa kin ang puso ko. Ngunit pagkatapos ng ilang panahon, nasanay na rin ako. I learned how to live my life without my heart on my chest. 

I lived like a zombie for years... 

Until one day, I saw her again. And everything in my life changed. 

Jasmine came back, my hope came back. Muli akong naniwala sa buhay. We became friends again. I became that guy again, her knight in shining armour.