paper rings (l.h.)

41

nsfw

We had just gotten back from the market, and I couldn't tell if it was my last spurt of energy before I crashed on his suede couch, or if I was so happy to be in his company and only his company. I knew it wouldn't be forever, and that I should make the most of it now while I have him near me.

His eyes are focused the hardwood floors, at how well kept they are, and his tall ceilings that echoed every word we said. His apartment was nicer than any house I've ever been inside of, his Mom's place doesn't compare to this palace. "Is it even called an apartment," I begin, sitting on the stool beside the island in his kitchen, watching as his eyes move from the ground, to me, a cheeky grin plastered on my face as I spin in the stool like a little girl. "If your apartment is bigger than 99% of houses anywhere else?"

"The listing technically called it a condo," he shrugs his broad shoulders, walking over to the opposite side of the island as me. He grabbed a glass, filled it with ice then water, and slowly brought it up to his pink lips. "I call it an apartment because I'm so used to living in them."

"Why not a home?" I ask, reaching over to grab his water once he sets it down. I feel the coolness down my throat, into my stomach. "Instead of being a slave to a landlord?"

"Too big for just me," he shrugs, his eyes glancing up at me before running pale fingertips across the granite. As I watched him do so, I remembered the glitter I spotted the very first day. How it clicked, that he was different. "But we could move into one, together."

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" I raise my eyebrow, running my fingers through my soft hair. Full of hairspray, bobby pins... but soft, nonetheless.

"Have we not lived together this whole time?" He tilts his head to the side, grinning through the clear glass as he takes another sip. "But I understand circumstances hold you back."

I frown. For a moment, I allowed myself to think that maybe, just maybe, I could allow myself to be free to do whatever I'd like. Away from my Grandma, from my family. Surely I felt my decision was right when I moved there. But things happen, situations change. I fell in love with a boy who wants to take me around the world, and if it weren't for my Grandma, I'd let him.

He must have noticed the demeanor in me change, how my eyes which were once so fixated in his sleepy blue eyes stare sadly into the cabinets behind him. I watch as he straightens himself, walking over to my side of the island and sitting directly beside me.

"I'm not trying to rush you, Mary."

"I know that," I say, between gritted teeth. I felt my cheeks burn. "I also don't want to be without you."

He nods sadly, wrapping his arms around me. I reach up to place my hand over his, his head resting against my shoulder. He said nothing, but he didn't have to. We've had this conversation once, twice before.

"I'll talk to my Mom, talk to my Grandma," I shake my head, shake off the sadness that had enveloped me. I look up at him, his hands on my biceps as I felt a stray tear run down my face, despite me willing it not to. "Maybe something can happen..."

"You shouldn't forget that you are a 23-year-old woman," he clears his throat. "24 year old woman. You deserve the freedom that your siblings have."

I nod slowly, leaning forward to rest my forehead on his. His hands move up to my cheeks, warming his cold hands on my burning red face. I share breaths with him, just for a second, my lips moving forward to caress his, slowly.

My hand on his thigh as I leaned in closer, pulling away slowly as his eyes finally fluttered open, meeting mine only mere centimeters away from him. "It's my birthday," I said slowly, heavily, my eyes on his lips as my hand traced gentle circles on his knee, then his thigh, until my fingertip swirled across the growth between his legs. I felt a devilish look in his eyes as he felt me tease him, his eyes widening as my touch gave him one last boost of energy.