my point of view of our relationship 2021-2024, what i feels and what i went through at that time, sorry for the messy writing, i tried my best love, i love you hope u like it ;)
We part away again for the second time, this time felt more real than the last time though. He has a girlfriend who he actually loves and takes her on a date daily and here i am still healing and trying to find someone who can replace ur precense. I met and go out with multiple guys, guy E made a comeback in my life and there's guy R.
Guy R almost, ALMOST replace ur precense, but later on i realize i didn't actually like him i'm just lonely and has no one at that time, that's why i'm searching and searching for a male figures in my life that could filled up my emptiness. And gave me the attention and affection i wanted. I was just lonely.
I hate and envy the way u can actually love someone genieunly other than me, but i couldn't. "Oh maybe i'm the problem" But i don't know either.
Either way i tried to heal myself alone, with my friends, and with my family, not just with guys. I tried to forget that guys exist in this mf world. And that i don't need them at all.
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November 29 2023 22:42 PM "I miss you" that annoying feeling of missing someone that u should not miss is just, hurtful. I çan't tell you that i miss you, so i just kept all my the things that i felt in my notes.
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I was close to multiple guys too, almost dating them to be honest. But do u believe that when i was calling them i cried to them not because my head hurts, not because my family problems, but because i miss you. I cried to other guy because i miss you.
December 02 2023 05:04 PM "Kae, how r u?" i had this mixed feelings when i saw ur texts, idk what to feel, should i reply? should i ignore? but i ended up replying. "Gass?? I'm fine, you?" "Uhm, not really, i've been exhausted lately tbh, i thought u blocked me tbh" "So when u're exhausted u come back to me? Yea?" "It may seems like that" "Well it literally seems like it, don't u post ur gf like yesterday?" "We broke up" my heart start beating up so fast, my stomach start aching, idk what to do, but i ended up replying to you again.
